Kiss My Sass » Blog Archive » Thanks, Mister Bus Driver!

I just waited, like, 15 minutes at the bus stop tonite, just to have the bus roll right by me. Didn’tcha see me wave? No, SIR.

AM I at the bus stop?

uh huh….then why am I still standing here?

Oh yippee Christmas Day, Now I get to pound the sidewalk all the way home…and it’s not enough that I’m about 8 or more blocks from home, but to add to that, I have just bought some groceries and have that bag besides the one I toted to work today. So I got my Jane Fonda done for the day, that’s for sure. Then I get upstairs all hot and achy and sweaty from lumbering all the way home and up the stairs with the extra 25 pounds to hear the phone ringing as I’m putting the key into the lock.

Lashonda or whoever from Sears wants to know when I’m making my next payment and I want to tell her to take their payment and put it where the Pope don’t rollerskate, because I just mailed the payment on Monday, but I stifle the urge. Somehow I survived, cooled off, managed dinner and mail and all that happy stuff and made dessert for a luncheon tomorrow and now here I sit, happy as pie, only now I have to finish some work on my computer. *gags* I’m sure you’ve heard enough!

Today’s Pearl of Wisdom:
“The sooner you fall behind, the more time you’ll have to catch up.”

Kiss My Sass » Blog Archive » Things that deeply trouble me

1) “Party Of Five”-isn’t it more like eight, now? And why are they all sleeping together? hmmm…nevermind, I dooonnn wanna know.

2) That damned Levi’s commerical with the invisible couple–no comment.

3) People who send me URLs through my icq about some goofy thing or another…mostly AOHell-ers, the poor things…they have no clue.

4) The time I waste in the morning to blow-dry hair, find the right pair of shoes to go with such and such, make lunch and coffee, etc., etc., when I’d rather be sitting at the table reading the paper or listening to the jocks on my favorite radio station’s morning show make jokes and snide comments about everyone on earth.

5) Having to get up at the ungodly hour of 6:00 a.m., when it’s still DARK outside, and now that I mention it, I actually didn’t mind getting up that early when summer’s equinox was still in effect. It’s a scientific fact that the light seeps through your eyes while you’re asleep and gradually you get used to it and wake up more readily than you would in the dark winter morn. ‘Course even in the summer I’d just as soon wake up at the crack of dawn, stuff the crack and go back to sleep. Ha ha.

6) How ’bout that governor of ours!! and how ’bout them MN Twins! And how ’bout them VIKES!!!

….*busts out in a HUGE laugh* yeah right!! Just thought It’d be interesting to hear SOMEONE say those things…

Well, kidlets…got a bunch of mails yet to get through, So I’ll be back later.

Kiss My Sass » Blog Archive » Winter is coming…like it or not

On my way home from the bus stop tonite I retrieve my camera from Sandy’s with the intention of getting some good fall color shots, but alas, peak time around here was early last week and now it’s all brown and dusty looking in South St. Paul. Looks like it’s real close to winter for sure.

So instead I decide to get some pics of odd things around town, including a nice shot of the sunset and view of the full moon. It was taken at the top of the stairs that climb the hill overlooking the warehouse district just at the end of my block.

I’m calling it a day.

Fuckin’ Aye!
“I scream, you scream, we all scream for ice cream!”

\n\n

Kiss My Sass » Blog Archive » Dammitdammitdammit

Um…yeah. O.K. So I HAVEN’T exactly been right ON TOP of STUFF lately…haha. I’ll get over it. Uh huh. Been on vacation since Monday, so yeah, I’ve been laggin’ in the ‘daily update’ department. Big deal. 

Still haven’t got around to getting my halloween costume together. Been busy doing a whole lot of nothing. Haha..but guess what? Even though it only took me forever to upload those snapshots from my slow camera to my slower yet computer (’cause I was too damn lazy to go buy new batteries) I did get them all uploaded from the cam today and want to show them off…nothing fancy you realize…just little odd shots from around my neighborhood.

Here they are:

This is “The Coop” restaurant just
down the street from where I live.

This is the total eyesore of a beauty salon across the street from The Coop. Yes, those are christmas lights, which

they display year-round. Ugly.

Ever hear the quip about a man’s car being an extension of their manhood? This must be

The deluxe model!

This is a view from the top of the great big hill which is my neighborhood. You can see about 5 towns from here, and on the 4th of July, you can see the fireworks from

almost all those towns, at once. Cool.

Damn:
Q: What’s the difference between ignorance & indifference?
A: I don’t know and I don’t care.

Kiss My Sass » Blog Archive » Signs, Signs, Everywhere Signs

I noticed the words today as I waited for the bus: “Avangelica Apostolica. De La Fa En Cristo Jesus.”

Weird. There’s this sign in front of a church that’s next to my bus stop, and when I moved here in July, it read “Evangelical Apostelistic Assembly of Jesus Christ”

Oh well…I knew it had a mostly Hispanic congregation but was unsure of the reason why they waited ’til now to redo the sign. Maybe the congregation is getting a little too varied to suit the clergy and perhaps it is a small subtle way of saying “Hey, dammit, if you can’t understand this sign, then don’t attend this church” But I know most churches will welcome anyone who wishes to attend. Hmmm…maybe everyone WASN’T that welcome here…haha. Ironic. What is the old saying…”God works in mysterious ways”? He sure does.

Crap. Maybe I’m just a silly ‘ol mean chick and I need to chill out and stop thinking like that and who in their right mind would do such a mean thing…I need a vacation. Good thing I’m taking the last week of this month off to do whatever I darned well please.

Soooo damned cold up in this joint. Had to wear an extra sweater while scrolling thru emails tonite. big day tomorrow, gonna get movin’

How right this is:
“If at first you don’t succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.”

Same day, different year..

Other posts on this day:

  • Chilly Willy would be havin’ a hey day… – 1999

Kiss My Sass » Blog Archive » More goofy searches

music to rollerskate to.I don’t have any on my site but last winter there was an entry

almost entirely devoted to talking about things my sister and I did as kids in the 70’s, including owning a vast collection of 45’s and a cherished ‘Smurfs’ record player so we had cool music to rollerskate to in our basement.

hatbox for children 1950. I didn’t write about hatboxes, nor children in this entry
I may have mentioned a box and I know I published some jokes a friendsent me, one of which was about birth control after 50.

busty contestants tv

This listing points to an entry where I had posted some comments about some entertainment news articles: Talking about tv’s Survivor 2, Anna-Nicole Smith’s recent trial ‘trials’ and the then-upcoming People’s Choice Awards.

Old Baby Photos 1960’sThis is NOT what it appears to be. The link that comes up is for my ‘about’ page

for the weblog. In it I talk about my family, including my then four-year old nephew,

and a friend’s baby. Then I go on to discuss how and when the internet got started
(in the 1960’s), and talk about some of the reasons I enjoy using the internet, such
as looking at photos.

Google-y Eyed

Note how many of these weird search results that I have posted so many of, are from www.google.com. Google’s robot crawler manages to do an impressive job of combining all this junk I blog about, in order to make my site’s description so interesting in search results, thus bringing various idiots to my page, who come in search of the ODDEST things. But make no mistake. For Google, I have nothing but gratitude. Bring me more idiots!! Idiots make the world go ’round…

Kiss My Sass » Blog Archive » Beware the ides of March

More weird searches

n sync linens
Google seems to have jumbled up my site’s description (which states I DON’T have any poems devoted to NSYNC) with an entry I had about people who hog the washing machine in my apartment building.

ass for daysI know I’ve got a big butt, but I’m pretty sure it’s not that big.

Kiss My Sass » Blog Archive » Misc ‘net stuff & March Madness

Earlier today…

If your blog is alot like mine (sucky) then chances are you need to kill it. At least that’s what they told me at kill your blog. After I took the quiz, the resulting pop-up window indicated the following:

Your weblog’s rating is 56%. OK, it’s not bad, I suppose. But it would behoove well to lift your game since there’s plenty of logs like yours. My advice is to start stalking their editors.P.S. Please do not take screenshots of this pop up window. (I didn’t, honest!)

fucking cool

modern living has been around since way before that blessed day that I bought my computer. Go see it. Summed up in 5 words: black and white poetry in motion. [shockwave site]

the rawkin’-est mouse house ever
Complete with puppets you can download and play with, yourself! Plus a nipple gallery that’s updated regularly. Yes, I said nipple gallery.

All your base are belong to us!Yeah, I’m always the last to know everything. In my site tracking logs someone keeps referring my site on some webpage belonging to a Japanese band called Shonen Knife, it’s like, the third time its happened since Christmas so I keep going back there to see where they put my link. Some of it’s in Japanese so I never manage to find the referring page with the link in it. Anyway that’s where I first saw the phrase above. I was wondering if it was some sort of bad translation, to mean some crazy thing. At the time I thought, who knows? So, being nosy like I am, I went to napster and found a couple of their songs. Apparently this girl band does alot of covers of American songs from the 70’s. It’s kinda cool actually. ‘Daydream Believer’ was decent. Anyway, the other day a friend was asking me “hey, what does ‘all your base are belong to us’ mean?”. That’s when I decided to go hunting and go see what this was all about. Dang. I was really out of the loop on this whole deal. Anyway, here is the actual site to view this movie, All your base are belong to us! [shockwave].

More weird searches

photos of american dessert tortise
Refers to an entry where I bitched about something being hard enough to crack than a tortise’s shell, posting photos of stuff on the net, talking about the time I made dessert for a volunteer club lunch meeting, and the Don McLean song American Pie made ever more famous thanks to the stupidest movie ever made with its namesake. The only funny part of this movie in my opinion, was “One time, at band camp…” and “So, are we gonna go do it, or are you gonna sit there and make me tell stories about band camp all night?”

hacked + “credit card numbers” list of
Well, I NEVER! Really though…I think I posted a link to a story about a huge credit card scam but don’t expect to find any such lists here.

I’m going to go eat some girl scout cookies! …yeah I got the coconut caramel choclate striped ones, the mint ones and the chocolate peanut butter ones. damn straight.
March MadnessHas already started…can I get a whoo hoo? Ever since the Minnesota State high school league tourneys started, I stay far away from downtown LOL. You can’t go eat anywhere or go no place, man–lots of damned high school kids everywhere. For the NCAA basketball games, we are having a ‘blind’ pick pool at the office. Everyone put in five bucks. I picked:

South – North Carolina [2]Midwest – Creighton [10]East – Oklahoma State [11]West – George Mason [14]

free George W. Bush $200 bill
I guess someone at Denny’s somewhere used a $200 bill with George Dubya’s face on it, and the casheir took it and gave the guy $198.00 in change. I heard all the guy bought was an ice cream cone.

Final notefunny name for a site: CarAccident.com

Same day, different year..

Other posts on this day:

  • Phooey! Their coffee sucks, anyway! – 2006

Kiss My Sass » Blog Archive » Top O’ tha marnin’ to ye!

SXSW results GO!

UNC in the house!Let’s see how they play against Penn State tomorrow. Momma needza new paira shoes.

weird searches

chilly willy photos
Are there actual photos? Apparently someone wanted to see if there were. Sick people.

“frank mccourt” and “parody”
I’m not sure if this person was looking for something about Frank McCourt parodying himself or what, but the entry it pulls up was my links page from years ago.

Levi’s commercial invisible
This led to an entry about things that annoy me, one of which was that damned commercial. I dunno why someone would go searching for that, but there it is.

Going to the bank. I’ll bring back some samples.

Kiss My Sass » Blog Archive » ALL NEW!

Why the XFL sucks

Jesse “the Body” or Jesse “the Governor”?Speaking of vile things, I have found Minnesota Public Radio’s The Body’s Politics: The Ventura Collection a very useful and even humorous tool in my ever-so recent attempt at getting to the core of our Governor. I still haven’t really figured him out yet. Maybe you have. I would love your feedback. In any case, the site provides us with his latest offering. ‘Ventura on Midday’. Mr. Ventura appeared on MPR’s show ‘Midday’ on March 7, 2001. Click here for a slideshow and listen to him [realaudio].

The McSweenifier
Making your writing look better than it is. The cool people at crummy.com have formulated ‘a method for formatting arbitrary text in the style of the popular internet journal M C S W E E N E Y ‘S’. My favorite article so far is “The True Adventures of Jon Bon Jovi, Chapter One: Meeting the Bonge” Ha. For more fun stuff by these guys, go here

That’s the BOMB
Courtesy of geeklife, who in turn got this link from Badassmofo. PBS’s website has a cool tool to estimate the severity of damage that a nuclear bomb would impact on a given area. Pretty neat, I’d say.

Puffy Gets off
I saw the video clip on MSNBC.com and I can’t help but note how he seems so releived in the shots taken with him and Johnny Cochran. Wonder why? The link to the article is above. (MSNBC likes to play games with how these links show up in my entries, sometimes they show up, sometimes they don’t)

Eminem to have bio-movie soon
The film in the works, to be produced by Brian Grazer of “The Nutty Professor” and “How the Grinch Stole Christmas” fame, told Access Hollywood that he’d cast Eminem in a film inspired by the rapper’s own life and is said it will be much like “Purple Rain”, giving a glimpse of Eminem’s life. Access Hollywood comments that it’s “Probably not a good first-date movie”.

Tell me how to get to Sesame Street
The dirt on all your fave muppets. Catch tonight’s A&E Biography Close-Up: Sesame Street (8 p.m.). Reader Bonus: Did you know where Bert & Ernie got their names? That’s right, their characters were inspired by Bert and Ernie, the cop and the taxi driver from Frank Capra’s holiday classic, “It’s A Wonderful Life”, starring Jimmy Stewart and Donna Reed (that’s an OLD bit of trivia).

Lordy, Lordy, Look who’s 40…
Ken doll, this is your life! Salon.com does him up right. See him through the ages of fashion and style, from the crew cut to painted on plastic hair. From bony to brawny and anatomically correct he was given a bump. The day lee misadventures proudly gives Ken Doll the Stedman Graham acheivement award for, as with Mr. Graham and Oprah Winfrey, his years of service with no real committment, to his gal pal, Barbie Doll (except, in Barbie’s case, hadn’t she donned a wedding gown many times in the last 40 years in preparation for nuptuals, but the two were never actually were proclaimed husband and wife?)


Britney Spears succumbs to the Pepsi pop star challenge

Last month she signed a marketing deal with Pepsi to promote the company’s soft drink. Terms of the contract were not disclosed but I caught Access Hollywood’s ‘behind the scenes’ look at the video shoot and I can only say that it is pretty perky and va va voomy for a soda commerical. They say there is to be a surprise guest in the ad as well…oooh, can we hardly wait? Brit is also said to have a book in the works? Egads.

Steven Seagal has another movie. God help us all. “Exit Wounds” is due out soon, which also features rapper-turned-wannabe-actor DMX. Regarding his role in the movie, Seagal was quoted on Access Hollywood as saying: “This is the first time I played a human being…er, well I don’t know about that, but I felt human doing it” er, ok Steven.