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I just took a crapload of online quizzes, just to see what kind of crappy pictues the results would give me.

Guess you could say that along with my boredom, I just was too lazy and cheap to make & download my own graphics today.

So on with it.

1st quiz was a quasi-professional looking psycho analysis of some kind. I took it. It didn’t have any cool result picture. Nonetheless, it was an okay test.

Personality Disorder Test
Disorder Rating

Paranoid: LowSchizoid: LowSchizotypal: ModerateAntisocial: ModerateBorderline: LowHistrionic: LowNarcissistic: ModerateAvoidant: LowDependent: Low

Obsessive-Compulsive: Moderate

2nd quiz I found at relelentlessdivas.net, a quirky, fun, and even cute looking site. Unfortunately it’s put together by an altogether too-fond-of-Sarah Michelle Gellar-flock of chickies. Upon my perusal, I found a boatload of quizzes beconing my mouse to click on. I took the How Horny Are You? test to see just indeed, how horny I was. The test turned out to be geared toward those to whom Fred Durst is a total hottie and sleepovers featuring our best classmates are still a normal thing to do. I don’t think they expected an engaged, conservative 31-year old female entrepeneur to take the quiz. But I did:

How Horny Are You?

Oh Yes! I’m SLUTishly HORNY!
How Horny Are You? Find out!

Then there’s the Which ‘Friend’ Are You? Which of course I enjoyed thoroughly because Friends is a fun show. Yes, I’m terrible. Here’s how this one went:

Which ‘Friend’ Are You? Find out!

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At 7:40 this morning I was awaken by the ring of our phone. I did not go to bed until 4am last night so I was tired, tempted to let it go unanswered.

I caved.

Picked it up, mumbled something close to “Myeahh.”

It was for whomever used to have this phone number. (fuck, I hate it when the phone company just recycles old phone numbers!) The guy on the phone was way to perky for such an ungodly hour on Saturday. Said he was calling from Arby’s looking for so-and-so (some foriegn name I can’t recall, let alone pronounce). Said he had expected her at 7:30 and she had not showed up yet. My mouth hadn’t yet been awake for more than a few seconds, and I think I said something about the phone number situation. Then for some reason I distinctly remember telling him to “piss off” and then “have a good morming or whatever”.

Much later I awoke to start my day. Coffee was made. E-mail was checked. Normal Saturday activities Sheer laziness ensued.

It’s now 7:50pm. Not much else has changed. Or moved.

Same day, different year..

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From the “Geez, Aren’t You Dead Yet?” dept:

CNN blamed ‘human error’ for accidentally displaying a ‘mock-up’ layout of obituaries for several, still-alive famous people on their website Thursday. They had put that page up with the intentions of it being available only iinternally. Whoops! Figures. Stupid crescent news network. [full story]

Same day, different year..

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In the words of Bridget Jones:

Hurrah! hurrah! Am self-assured, responsive career woman with very big plans, in manner of Mary Tyler Moore or similar, with her efficient, tidy and professional outlook on working as a woman.

Am off to interview with big luscious posh department store headquarters, where was initially placed temporarily with Amazon Barbie woman, as you may recall.

Wish me luck. Oops, almost typed ‘lick’ and can only imagine fiance as being only one to ever say that to self.

Hurrah!

Same day, different year..

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Blurry bloody damned job interviews. Hate them. Want them to be concrete things, so could pick them up and toss, e.g. garbage, into someone’s face. Can’t understand why i pretended to be so cheery about this one in particular. Was likely hopeful about being back in posh, pleasant environment, full of supermodel dopplegangers and creative planners alike, all looking like Ralph Lauren commercials, tottering about and yakking at each other and none of them listening, all just talk, talk talk chitty chatty chitty chitty, them with their BFA’s and BMW’s. ugh.

Wish were out of mom’s house by now, can’t bear the thought of any more nights and weekends alone. James was off work last night and we dashed off to get coffee and discuss business. Turns out there was a lot of white trash there at Perkins last night and having a darned good time. Had too much coffee and could barely sleep, once I did I woke up, cold, the back of my neck perspiring. Ugh.

Not really looking forward to getting home soon and paying bills, doing laundry and other such falderol. Am sitting at work force center, pretending to be looking for a job. Have to get going now, as bus will be by soon. More later….

Same day, different year..

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I need to hurry up and get out of this house. My PC is hooked up in my room but with no internet connection. So I use mom’s. Once she saw me nodding off in front of PC (who of you hasn’t done this?) and so now every time she walks past the room and I’m sitting still here, waiting for a page to load, she is accusing me of sleeping. I’ve got better things to do, lady.

Same day, different year..

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Well, Thursday ended up better than it began. After work Mom said she might not go to the lake until tomorrow. Which meant we couldn’t be alone and James couldn’t stay the night (UGH, I hate that)! Anyway so we decided to go out and I run some errands and then went out to Champp’s. I had a huge Italian margarita (I know they’re not Italian) but this one had Vermouth in it and some kind of Italian Tequila. Which is weird. But it was nice. I hadn’t eaten much that day so I was getting very slurry and he was giggling at me. Then we ate some nice salad and wrap sandwiches and I had another drink. So I was a bit tipsy and it was fun. We pulled up into the drive and saw through the window that mom was still home sitting on the phone. Disgusted, I told him to pull out and drive across the highway so we could go to the park. It was deserted and it’s at the top of a huge hill with no houses around so we went for it. My, my that was nice. Then I was out of smokes so we stopped at SuperAmerica and got some cigs and I got the new InStyle. When we finally got home it was all dark upstairs. Note on the table said mom went to the lake. UGH. Had we waited just a few more minutes….but damn that park was something else. Mmmm-hmm.

More tomorrow….

Same day, different year..

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Uff da. Why am I so exhausted today? I know I went to bed about midnight and didn’t sleep very well but that’s nothing new. Today after only being at the Work Force center for a few minutes, I started to get really sleepy. Yesterday after I got off work I went over to the coffee shop and sat for over an hour, enjoying some chai lattes and my Bridget Jones: Edge of Reason. Maybe I need a kick in the ass.

Oh well, alls well at the house now, mom rushed out of town late last night and won’t be back til maybe Wed. night and then she’ll be going back to the lake this weekend. Things just seem to go better when she’s gone, and I’m sure she feels the same about me when I’m at work.

I found out yesterday that the law firm is looking for someone full time, doing the work that I’m doing but unfortunately they are first posting it internally and then if they do not find someone they will approach the temp agency. Boo! Work is fine, I guess if I really think long and harrd about it I don’t think I’d do well there, full time. The job would bore me, eventually–unless I was able to take on more responsibility–then it might be okay. I will definitely spend some time this weekend looking harder for another job to start when this assigment is over. The temp agency’s been a huge help in that respect.

Gotta run…going to go grab some coffee, call my honey and then go home.

Hey! Happy belated 3rd Birthday to my blog!

Okay, so that’s not my cake. Or my dog. But it was the best I could do. Besides, I didn’t get paid til today, and this was all I could afford.

So anyway…Like I was saying, happy belated birthday to my beloved Day Lee blog, seems like only yesterday I was–HOLLL DDUP! Who dat little whore blowing out da candles on my blog’s cake??!!

Bitch betta recognize. Look bitch that is MY motherfuckin’ BLOG’s cake and you kin gitcher damned greazy paws off it!!! (ps- hey you guys–anyone know how the cake turned chocolate all of a sudden?)

UGH.

some people’s kids.

As I was saying…seems like only yesterday I sat down to write my first entry.

and here it is: THE VERY DISGUSTING BEGINNINGS.

Enjoy your Thursdays, people. More later….

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This man has TWO penises!
You heard me right. In one of my email newsletters yesterday, they published this:

As many people know, men tend to think that the bigger their penis is, the more masculine they are. I’m sure you’ve heard this some time or another. Well, since we deal with a lot of freaks here at the Way Weird, I met another freak this past Sunday in Boston, MA. I was scheduled to interview Charles Grampier, the only known man who can actually make a sandwich using his gluts. He cancelled on me, but told me to call his brother Randel. I met up with Randel, and the first thing he did was pull down his pants and told me to look at his penises.

During an interview, Randel said that it has always been difficult for him to meet women having a “Two headed bloodhound that craves female city meat.” Randel also stated that he wanted help finding a female who would be interested in dating him, and he wrote the following message to you ladies out there:

“Hello you sweet gals out there. I have been born with a treasure, not of gold, but of flesh. Where most men only have one single member, I have two. It is very difficult for a man with two gentle penises to find a woman that will want to date him because they think he’s a freak. I can give you women the same as a one penised man can, and obviously, even more. I also like to back pack, hike, play piano, and write poetry. If you want to date a man that will hold you when you are sad, and will drive you to work in the morning, then please contact me.”

Okay ladies, if you would like to meet Randel Grampier please go to www.twistedhumor.com and click on Way Weird so you can write to them and they’ll make this match making process a reality.

I’ll be damned. They are actually taking letters!
Okay that’s all I’ve got for now…I’ve got to get back to work. Yes, WORK.

buhh byee

Same day, different year..

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