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<\/p>\nAnother night with the Idiot Box\u2026<\/p>\n
Tonight after a while I got up from doing some work and decided to take a break and put in some couch\/boob toob time. I totally had the munchies, so I went looking for the potato chips I bought the other day. Imagine my dismay to find a rolled up bag containing a few partial chips but mostly little bits. Which really frosted my hide because I had this great dip leftover in the fridge. I started to try and dip these measly little chips for a minute but it was really silly looking, so I shrugged my shoulders, poured the chip-bits into the dip and ate it with a spoon. I\u2019m such a classy chick <\/p>\n
Then I put on The Real World and watched that, then I watched in horror when The Ugly Rich Girls came on. Trust me, those air-brushed, Photoshop-ped pics on the web site totally misrepresent how they REALLY look on camera. One of them (Ally) looks like what you might get if you bred \u201cChip\u201d from \u2018My Three Sons\u2019 with a horse that sports a John Travolta chin. Her mouth as a can opener could give Black & Decker a run for their money. The other (Jaime) looks like a skinnier but much uglier Kathy Najimi (I actually like her). Her head is twice as big as a normal human\u2019s and she\u2019s always acting like she\u2019s PMS-ing and someone took away her Midol, her diet Coke, and her twice monthly manicure. She dresses horribly, resembling a water buffalo who raided the costume racks from Martin & Lewis\u2019s \u201cLaugh-In\u201d set. Add to that a whiny, Fran Drescher-ish \u2018Oh my Gawwwd\u201d at 10 minute intervals.<\/p>\n
They say \u201cWe may be rich but we\u2019re normal!\u201d, but I don\u2019t know any normal people who can just drop 3 grand at Saks & Company\u2019s shoe department like it was a trip to Walgreens for some gum and Kodak film. They think they\u2019re so knowledgeable about the 60\u2019s, meaning they know what Pucci is but not Jane Fonda. Also I don\u2019t know normal people who take a trip to Mystique Greek islands on a cruise aboard the Christina O. Yacht, but don\u2019t know what the \u2018O\u2019 stands for. Onasis, you stupid whores.<\/p>\n
Oh and get this: \u201cMy dad invented cargo pants and everyone stole that\u201d, says the evil Hilfiger spawn, the smaller, horse-toothed one of the two.<\/p>\n
Their \u201cPearls of wisdom\u201d?<\/p>\n
Try: \u201cClothing is like my drug\u201d \u201cI\u2019m sorry, I can\u2019t have conversations with people I don\u2019t know\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201c[Take the] subway? No fuckin\u2019 way!\u201d<\/p>\n
Then there\u2019s the commercials. FUCK! I try not to watch commercials, but it\u2019s hard when your life sucks so bad that you are bored out of your mind\u2013so all you can do is watch TV. I am so sick of these cellular\/mobile device commercials where the selling point is that you can burp and fart back and forth with your stupid buddies. I have to change the channel.<\/p>\n
And why does every movie that comes out now have to have a Michelle Branch or Evanesence song playing during the trailers? Do you know the words? Yes, they\u2019re \u201cAhhh noyyy iinng\u201d. And why GOD WHY did Limp Bizkit have to fuck around and mess up \u201cBehind Blue Eyes\u201d by The Who? UGH. It\u2019s bad enough that nothing seems sacred nowadays, what with every modern rock band re-making shit and not having an original thought, but what\u2019s worse is that kids who are huge fans of these idiots will think Fred Durst is brilliant enough to have come up with it himself. Don\u2019t get me started on the Foo Fighters lame cover of Gerry Rafferty\u2019s \u201cBaker Street\u201d and Kid Rock\u2019s sorry attempt to do Bad Company\u2019s \u201cFeel Like Makin\u2019 Love\u201d<\/p>\n
FUUUUUUCK! That is just killing me.<\/p>\n
Then there\u2019s the potholder\u2013gawd\u2013I mean oven mitt. That fucking thing has annoyed me to the end of my rope. I\u2019m hunting down the guy who pitched that idea to Arby\u2019s and then shooting him with a rifle.<\/p>\n
\nOther posts on this day:<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Another night with the Idiot Box\u2026 Tonight after a while I got up from doing some work and decided to take a break and put in some couch\/boob toob time. I totally had the munchies, so I went looking for the potato chips I bought the other day. Imagine my dismay to find a rolled … <\/p>\n