It\u2019s a great concept. Can\u2019t sleep? Put this shit on. Guaranteed to have you sawing logs in a matter of 1.5 videos.<\/p>\n
Case in point:<\/p>\n
\u2018Let me Go\u2019 by Three Doors Down<\/strong><\/p>\n Great band, great song. Shitty video.<\/p>\n \u201cLet me Go\u201d Indeed. Let Me Go Find Who Directed this Fucked Up Video!<\/p>\n Three Doors Down proves once again that a teeny bopper soap opera plot makes for good videos.<\/p>\n Act I, scene I,<\/strong> cut to high school hallway, where boy has just met girl. Girl and boy fall in love and show everyone in hallway, and this it\u2019s not the puppy kind. It\u2019s of the \u2018I\u2019m gonna take you home and make a dirty movie with you\u2019 variety (?!).<\/p>\n Scene II,<\/strong> cut to happy after-school snack shack, where the two take Polaroids of each other. Aw\u2026<\/p>\n Couple scenes later, we see a seedy strip club, and guess who\u2019s on stage? Our girlie girl, of course.<\/p>\n How boy manages to get into strip club and see his darling girlie shake her money maker, I will never remember, as I\u2019m trying my hardest to stay awake through this musical Shakespeare mini-tragedy!<\/p>\n Scene III,<\/strong> Cut back to high school hallyway, where people are whisperin\u2019 about girl as she walks by, and boy ain\u2019t gettiin\u2019 anywhere near girl at school, at the snack shack, or even talkin\u2019 to her face.<\/p>\n Girl is all, \u2018Aw, fuck, what a jackass\u2019 and then bell rings and school is out.<\/p>\n Scene IV,<\/strong> Boy is at after school snack shack and is all, awww, I miss that whore, where\u2019s my girlie girl?<\/p>\n Scene V,<\/strong> So he goes driving along in happy neighborhood and sees girlie girl holding baby in window of her house. The video\u2019s camera zooms into window and speedily (and scarily) zooms further, into baby\u2019s crib (isn\u2019t tv amazing?). Baby gets picked up and teeny bopper momma, and baby and momma are all like \u2018aww\u2019 together (is this a fuckin\u2019 Downy commercial?).<\/p>\n Scene VI,<\/strong> Cut back to stupid boy in car. He\u2019s all like \u2018Aw, I didn\u2019t know she was a baby momma!?! Now I feel like a jerky werky.\u201d<\/p>\n Well I haven\u2019t figured out if this is one of those shocker endings where we all gasp because the boy is the daddy of the baby, or if this is one of those moral lessons. What the fuck could the moral be? OH! I know:<\/p>\n \u201cIt\u2019s alright to be a ho-ass stripper when you \u2018jess 16. Spess-shly if you is a baby momma!\u201d<\/p>\n At least Three Doors Down thinks so. Does America think so? Gawd I hope not.<\/p>\n 2 stars<\/p>\n \u201cAlong The Boulevard\u201d by Green Day<\/strong><\/p>\n Angst Revisited Recycles Rockers over Ten Year Span.<\/p>\n I thought Green Day was dead*, until recently. I think they came back out just to make sure they still are the good at that emo thing, whatever the hell it may be. I don\u2019t get it, but I guess it is sort of like Liz Phair coming back out to see if she\u2019s still as good at whining as the new generation of girly angst rockers are (i.e. . I kinda figured all this out while watching \u201cAlong The Boulevard\u201d with Billy WhatsHisNuts from Green Day.<\/p>\n Video is alright. Green Day still look and sound like they did when I was 25, \u2018cept maybe a bit frightening and older looking. \u2018Course they probably still smoke from the same bong that they were smoking out of when I was 25. I\u2019ve since: welcomed a nephew into my family, fell in love, got a gym membership, got it cancelled, got a computer, survived my sister\u2019s wedding, moved out of my apartment, changed banks, almost got a car once, got engaged, moved again, got another job, moved again, started business on the side, lost job, got another job, broke off engagement, lost my dad, lost job, got another job, kicked boyfriend out of apartment, lost uncle, got another job, lost job, made up with boyfriend, got another job, had nephew\u2019s 9th birthday, lost job, got another job\u2026<\/p>\n Whew!<\/p>\n That\u2019s ten years, and Green Day don\u2019t look they done much since 1995. I mean, of course THEY HAVE, but it is just like going back in time. Only they manage to do this song with a bit of a present-day edge on it.<\/p>\n Here we are, 2005, and ever since Green Day started singing its whiny \u2018why me I\u2019m such a loser\u2019 songs, so have (about 10,000 other bands), all managing to sound and look just like them, complete with the same formula:<\/p>\n – The would-be dreamy lead singer, I say \u201cwould-be\u201d if not for the dark under eye circles, bed head and general lack of self esteem.<\/p>\n -The token manic rhythm guitarist, arm jackhammering at 70 mph as if guitar is going to get away from him.<\/p>\n -The same melody sets, chords, and strikingly similar keys.<\/p>\n Anyway, my point is, even though I don\u2019t get it\u2013the emo thing\u2013they\u2019re still good at it I guess. 3 stars<\/p>\n * not rotting in the ground dead, just not making music anymore\u2013jeez, don\u2019t have a cow!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" It\u2019s a great concept. Can\u2019t sleep? Put this shit on. Guaranteed to have you sawing logs in a matter of 1.5 videos. Case in point: \u2018Let me Go\u2019 by Three Doors Down Great band, great song. Shitty video. \u201cLet me Go\u201d Indeed. Let Me Go Find Who Directed this Fucked Up Video! Three Doors Down … <\/p>\n