Today (which\u00a0is April Fool\u2019s day in case you live under a rock), and it was my birthday.\u00a0 Gawd am I old.\u00a0 Yup.\u00a0 Turned the big 3-3 this year.<\/p>\n
I would have preferred to stay in bed all day but dear ol\u2019 mom sprung for lunch and a visit.\u00a0\u00a0C\u2019mon\u2026 who can turn down a free lunch?<\/p>\n
So we go to this Mexican place in Cottage Grove called Las Margaritas.\u00a0 Never been there before, so I figured we were in for a treat.\u00a0 It was okay.\u00a0 The music was too loud for it only being like 15 people in there and it just being lunch time.\u00a0 We had to yell our orders and practically \u201cYoo-hoo, how\u2019s the SALSA??!!\u201d across the table to each other.\u00a0 I was going to get the carnitas but I hadn\u2019t tried that before and being a well-fed and food-loving person I hate to take a gamble on something and have it turn out shitty.\u00a0 So I ordered a frozen strawberry margarita and the enchilada trio.<\/p>\n
The food was pretty good actually.\u00a0 Mom was loving whatever it was she got (some kind of grilled chicken fajita thing called Pollo Abodado or something like that) and she got the strawberry margarita too.<\/p>\n
Anyway, we enjoyed our drinks even though they were just mixer plus liquor\u2013(I\u2019m spoiled, I\u2019ve had FRESH strawberry margaritas at other Mexican places), and of course the complimentary chips and salsa (I could just eat baskets of that and skip all the semi-ok & expensive entrees).<\/p>\n
So we\u2019re sitting there and the whole lot of staff (bunch of Mexican guys) comes up from behind me and all screeching a song in Spanish.<\/p>\n
I recognize the tune.\u00a0 Oh shit, they\u2019re singing \u201cHappy Birthday\u201d to me!\u00a0 OK well I suppOSE I could put on my fun face and play nice for a minute but ususally I hate this sort of thing.<\/p>\n
Anyway, on they screech\u2026<\/p>\n
Feliz cumpleaos, (Happy birthday to you) Feliz cumpleaos, (Happy birthday to you) Feliz cumpleaos querido tan y por eso, (Happy birthday, dear so and soooo!)<\/p>\n
Feliz cumpleaos! (Happy birthdaaaaaaay to you!)<\/p>\n
Then one of the guys comes and puts down a plate with a sopapilla on it covered with honey and chocolate syrup and topped with a shitload of whipped cream. Then there is\u00a0a candle in the middle.<\/p>\n
I blow it out and they remove it.\u00a0 Then from out of NOFUCKINGWHERE comes a dollop of whipped cream headed straight for my face.\u00a0 I swear it was as big as my head.\u00a0 OK maybe not but when it got close they were aiming to just \u2018dot\u2019 my nose but ended up smearing it on my mouth, nose and chin and I started to make a fuss and all I could think was, \u201cWHAT PLANET ARE YOU ON??!!WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING YOU ASSHOLES, YOU DON\u2019T SMEAR SHIT
\nON PEOPLE\u2019S FACES YOU DUMB FUCKS!!\u201d and while I was thinking this, I scrunched up my nose and turned my face just a little and the whole abombidable snowman of a whipped cream dollop came tumbling down my chin and plopped all over my (black, velvet, son of a bitch!) top I was wearing, then plopped onto my plate of (yet unfinished) enchiladas.<\/p>\n
The whole time I was saying loudly, no, stop it\u2026! Cut it out dont put that on my face! I think people were staring.\u00a0 I didn\u2019t care.\u00a0 I think my face is smaller than most people\u2019s and I think the guy wasn\u2019t really looking where he was aiming that monstrous dollop and it seemed from the get go I was going to have more than a smidgen of it on my face.\u00a0 The whole scenario above took place over a period of 10 seconds but it seemed like an eternity.<\/p>\n
Great.\u00a0 Just great.\u00a0<\/p>\n
Right after\u00a0it was all over I looked at my mom and I think she could see how upset I was (like I say I was close to tears because I was\u00a0like humiliated).\u00a0 But instead of saying somthing like, \u201cI\u2019m sorry you didn\u2019t like that, I wish I would have known so I could warn you or ask them not to do that.\u201d but NO she\u2019s all mad that I\u2019m mad.\u00a0 I\u2019m thinking what the HELL is wrong with someone because they don\u2019t want sugar and shit on their face??<\/p>\n
Well OK I thought about it a second and maybe I was making too big a deal out of this whole thing.<\/p>\n
Then I felt stupid for making a fuss and I *knew* if I hadn\u2019t freaked out so much, the worst outcome would have been that I\u2019d have\u00a0a dot of whipped cream on my nose and not the ensuing mess because I didn\u2019t just sit there and play along.<\/p>\n
I asked for a wet washcloth.\u00a0 \u201cWET WASHCLOTH.\u201d\u00a0 \u201cCLOTH.\u201d\u00a0 Dude hands me a cheap flimsy (and dry) napkin.\u00a0 \u201cNO, not a NAPKIN.\u00a0 I\u2019m STICKY.\u00a0 I NEED A WET\u00a0 Wash.\u00a0 CLOTH.\u201d\u00a0 Eh? Que?\u00a0 \u201cWash cloth. Dish towel.\u00a0 You know.\u00a0 Handi-wipe.\u00a0 Towlette.\u00a0 Dish towel. Whatever ya got that\u2019s wet and cloth-y!\u201d Ah fuck they don\u2019t even understand my English!<\/p>\n
Finally a guy walks from around the bar with a wet bar towel and I\u2019m relieved.\u00a0\u00a0I suppose I could have gone into the bathroom but *shudder* I loathe public bathrooms.<\/p>\n
Does all of this make me a bitch???<\/p>\n
Maybe I just live in a world where people don\u2019t do shit like this to you.\u00a0<\/p>\n
What do you think???<\/p>\n
\nOther posts on this day:<\/p>\n
Today (which\u00a0is April Fool\u2019s day in case you live under a rock), and it was my birthday.\u00a0 Gawd am I old.\u00a0 Yup.\u00a0 Turned the big 3-3 this year. I would have preferred to stay in bed all day but dear ol\u2019 mom sprung for lunch and a visit.\u00a0\u00a0C\u2019mon\u2026 who can turn down a free lunch? … <\/p>\n