\u2026here\u2019s how to take a shower.<\/p>\n
Ladies:<\/strong><\/p>\n Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks.<\/p>\n Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. If you see husband\/boyfriend along the way, cover up any exposed areas.<\/p>\n Look at your womanly physique in the mirror – make mental note to do more sit-ups\/leg-lifts, etc.<\/p>\n Get in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone.<\/p>\n Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins.<\/p>\n Wash your hair again to make sure it\u2019s clean.<\/p>\n Condition your hair with enhanced grapefruit mint conditioner.<\/p>\n Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red.<\/p>\n Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash.<\/p>\n Rinse conditioner off hair.<\/p>\n Shave armpits and legs.<\/p>\n Turn off shower.<\/p>\n Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower. Spray mold spots with Tilex.<\/p>\n Get out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country.<\/p>\n Wrap hair in super absorbent towel.<\/p>\n Check entire body for zits, tweeze hairs.<\/p>\n Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head.<\/p>\n If you see husband\/boyfriend along the way, cover up any exposed areas.<\/p>\n Men:<\/strong><\/p>\n Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile.<\/p>\n Walk naked to the bathroom.<\/p>\n If you see wife\/girlfriend along the way, shake wiener at her making the \u2018woo-woo\u2019 sound.<\/p>\n Look at your manly physique in the mirror.<\/p>\n Admire the size of your wiener and scratch your behind.<\/p>\n Get in the shower. Wash your face. Wash your armpits.<\/p>\n Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off.<\/p>\n Fart. Laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower.<\/p>\n Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area.<\/p>\n Wash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap.<\/p>\n Wash your hair. Make a shampoo mohawk.<\/p>\n Pee.<\/p>\n Rinse off and get out of shower.<\/p>\n Partially dry off.<\/p>\n Fail to notice water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the<\/p>\n whole time.<\/p>\n Admire wiener size in mirror again.<\/p>\n Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on.<\/p>\n Return to bedroom with towel around waist. If you pass wife\/girlfriend along the way, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the \u2018woo-woo\u2019 sound again.<\/p>\n Throw wet towel on bed.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" \u2026here\u2019s how to take a shower. Ladies: Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks. Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. If you see husband\/boyfriend along the way, cover up any exposed areas. Look at your womanly physique in the mirror – make mental note to do … <\/p>\n