Author: BJW Woods

Rosie O’Donnell has a new magazine. Want to be in it? Go to her site and send her an email to include your story or suggestion. It says when sending e-mail, keep in mind that Rosie O’Donnell is very busy and cannot answer every email!!! Here’s what they are looking for:

*Stories about people who’ve gone up and down on the scale–with pictures to prove it!(I wonder what sort of entertainment value this provides? -bj)

*Beauty makeover candidates. Tell us why you deserve a great new look!(because this one isn’t doing it for me? -bj)

*Opinions, opinions–on everything from personal pet peeves to political passions.(just not gun stuff though, right Rosie? -bj)

*Photos of kids that are cute enough to make you cry.(awww, now I’m gettin’ misty -bj)You’re supposed to send your photos and stories, plus a daytime phone number, to: Rosie, The Magazine, Department W, 375 Lexington Avenue, New York, N.Y. 10017 (they can’t guarantee that all materials will be returned)!

Now that’s what I call crap
Every six months or so some god-awful people are in charge of compiling a cd of popular songs. It’s called “Now That’s What I Call Music”. As opposed to what? One can only wonder what this poor person was exposed to, previously! There is no more than maybe two songs on it!

Calling all pre-pubescent, ‘Dawson’s Creek’-watching, undereducated and over self-esteemed young fashion victims
(I’m GUESSING the target audience here) Wanna find out if your crush likes you back? The idea behind this is if you know their email, eCRUSH can send them a message saying someone likes them & invite them to sign up too, then if you’re LUCKY, they sign up (’cause they’re not suckers for junk e-mail, right?! -bj), they list you as a crush too & eCRUSH matches you two lucky bastards up. http://www.ecrush.com/vg

http://www.spliffo.com
(author’s note: isn’t ’spliff’ a slang marijuana term? -bj) Upon inspecting the splash page I am told: -Wether you wanted to or not, you have reached Spliffo Planet-I decided to check it out anyway and hope there’s better spelling inside. Oooh! Here’s a linkup to the next page and I get to choose between 2 frame version or the 3 frame version! Yikes. Aren’t frames sooo four years ago? Unfortunately, that’s not all that’s wrong with it. Aside from the fact that the people who run the site obviously have some talent with regards to cartoon drawing, this site sucks. Navigation-wise, it’s bad because…[more]

Just a note:
Today is my birthday…big whoop. I’m 28 today and have lots planned for the rest of the weekend (haha it’s Sunday already) I get alot of shit for having been born on April Fool’s Day but there are perks. One of them is the fact that it’s Spring! I can almost always count on a nice day when my birthday comes. The other nice things are: I’m an Aries (we’re the BEST sign) and we have (mostly) good qualities!

In somewhat related news, my other sites, The Church of Carson Daly and Complete Woman are being updated, keep your eye on them for some exciting new info and fun!
Much more, later

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The end of March. I am NOT working today and glad of it. I will not be stopped from having a mentally relaxing and perhaps somewhat productive day off! You couldn’t if ya tried…

All I remember was being able to do some laundry, pay some bills and take a little break. I took a bus ride to the bank and stopped off for some breakfast, a new hardcover book accompanying me. So far it is okay, it’s reading along nicely.

Oh, hey, I forgot to comment on the Oscars…oh well, hardly a huge deal this year.  I was taping them when they were on Sunday nite ’cause I had some work to do.  I watched part of the awards on Monday nite and then caught the rest of them this morning.  It was a bit annoying all week to have had to cover my ears and “shoosh” people or hum loudly whenever anyone around me was talking about them.

Dont’ get me wrong.  I give two shits about Hollywood.  But I like to be on the inside track so that water cooler discussions don’t leave me wondering, “What are they talking about?”  I kinda had some predictions but of course I always like to be a little surprised.

Although this year was a bit different as far as surprises go. Of course Kevin Spacey would get the pick for best lead male actor. Kinda crappy since I was rooting for Denzel. I am in love with Denzel. Who wouldn’t be? I like everything he does and would always pick him so I was sort of biased this year as far as that category goes.

Last night one of my girlfriends and I went out galavanting. We decided to go to this a cute little bar down the street from where she lives downtown, I guess some guy who used to play for the Chicago Bears owns it, which I guess would explain why the place was decked out in navy blue and orange,

LOL…Anyway, aside from slingin’ back a few bottles o’ beer and shooting three games of pool w/these two guys who would have rather played with us than wait all night for us to finish, we had a few laughs and of course I was the first one to go ask the bartender for a towel.  For some reason I am always spilling beer! hahah…whoever goes to the bars w/me would know this and of course it’s sort of a tradition.

Then we ended up at the Radisson hotel bar where we grubbed on buffalo wings and then it was time for me to go home, thank God ’cause the girls working the bar must have had about enough of us making snide comments in the general direction of the t.v. (Who Wants To Be a Millionaire was on) and of course you all know I love Regis Philbin about as much most people love having to go to the dentist!

Well, I see that its getting late and I still have some work to do and people to chat up.

This weekend went by sooooooo fast….especially since last nite I consumed more tequila than was necessary.

I can’t wait for the Oscars, although I will admit I’m not as excited to see them as I had been in years past. I’m not looking forward to working on Monday, nor am I looking forward to these colder temps they say are coming this way. March always comes in like a lion, I suppose. If I have to endure one more blustery day, I may lose it altogether.

Sloan: “The city looks so peaceful from up here.” Ferris: “Anything is peaceful from one thousand, three hundred fifty-three feet.”

Cameron: “I think I see my dad.” -Ferris Bueller’s Day Off, 1986

I cannot believe my eyes and ears, watching and listening as Pink Floyd plays live, for the first time together in years, in London for the Live8 event.

Rock on!

I’ll be reporting other highlights later. Gotta go enjoy the rest of it while it lasts…

Since last I wrote, I’ve had an uneventful boring week at the fulltime job I hate, did some work for the new part time job I love, and visited alot with friends and family. For the first time in a week, I’ve also slept in my own bed! Haha..it’s not like it sounds.  Last week it was so g.d. hot, that I camped out on the couch every night with the a/c and floor fan going. Thank goodness for oscilating three speed floor fans. Got it at Sears, about two summers ago, and I cannot live without it.

Yesterday I went to a barbeque and then today we ate chicken from The Coop and now I’ve got heartburn…blechh.

Well, on a more pleasant note, I DID get to see a bit of the aurora borealis last nite and also a splendid sunset this evening.

Will post pics later, from our infamous bar night adventures last week.

Oh Christmas…now I see how late it is and I should be getting ready for bed, dammit.

Just as I am relaxing and enjoying myself I have to cut stuff short.

I haven’t been up to much lately, just working my 2 jobs and surviving day to day, what with being nearly broke all the time. That’s my own damn fault, though, and I am working on it.

This last weekend was o.k., I went and did some grocery shopping on Saturday and it was SOOOOO HOT out, so I just hung around the house awhile.

Saturday night I tried to do some work, but I just got bored so I was on the phone for a couple hours and then I monkeyed around on the computer til late. I think I was up until 4am just because I wasn’t sleepy at all.

My mom and dad FINALLY came home from being at my grandma’s house in Duluth since like, right after Memorial weekend. They are just glad to be home after being gone so long. It was just lucky that they’re retired so they were able to stay and take care of Grandma that whole time.

On Sunday I was working for like an hour when Sandy and Tony came over and said “Let’s go!” I almost forgot about the Booya on that day. If you have never heard of a Booya, it is basically a fundraiser that the fire department in Newport puts together every July on the weekend after the holiday and I have been going to it almost every year since I was a kid.

They have a beer truck set up next to a big tent and tables everywhere to sit, and you can get beers for $1.00 US all day, plus they have games for the kids and craps tables and bingo inside the fire hall. The local Boy Scout troops even come out every year and sell sno-cones and nachos and stuff. For two days before the event, they cook I don’t know how many GALLONS of soup, which is very good and they call it Booya. They make it from chicken stock and oxtails and vegetables and people haul just buckets and pails of it out of there to take home, ’cause it’s so popular.

All day long they sell pulltab tickets and raffle tickets which they call the numbers out for and give away a bottle of liquor like every ten minutes. The major raffles this year were a kid’s brand new bike, $500.00, and $100.00. They also raffle off a little red Radio Flyer wagonload full of booze too.

So basically all day Sunday, I drank beer all day with Sandy and Tony and our friends. It was super hot and sticky almost all day but the beer was nice and cold so it wasn’t all that bad.

Then after everyone went home, we didn’t feel like going home so we all went to the Cloverleaf bar over by the highway, and that place is a total dump, but we were already drunk so we all went over there anyway ’cause they had air conditioning. We had some more beers and played darts, and we were messin’ with everyone there and taking pictures of stuff.

This lady came in with all this candy she was selling for one of her kids’ sports teams or whatever, Tony bought this big ol’ box of Bazooka Joe bubble gum and I was chewing some.

I blew this great big bubble and got like half of the gum on my face so I had to go into the bathroom to wash it off.  Before I went down the hall everybody was bitching about the music ’cause the jukebox was done playing. When I went to walk to the bathroom, this old nasty guy, was sitting at the bar close to the bathroom and he says to me “Say, put a couple quarters in the jukebox, would you, young lady?” and I said “Um, I’ll be right back.”

When I got back out of the bathroom I totally ignored the guy when I was walking back to where we were sitting. While I was in the bathrrom getting the gum off my face, my sister had gone to the jukebox and came back and was telling everyone something and laughing. I asked her what happened and she said while she was at the jukebox she hears this same old guy and all of his even nastier friends all chuckling and har-dee-har-har-ing and she was minding her business and she looks away from the jukebox for like a second and she sees this dude mooning his friends and they are all having a great laugh and she was like ‘Oh my GOD’ and laughs to herself about how stupid these guys are and then she said that when she walked past him, to get back to our spot in the bar the guy says to her ‘Did you see me naked?” and she’s like “No?!!” and he says “Do you wanna?” and she all but RAN back to the table. Do you believe some of the stuff people do in bars?

Good golly.

I managed to kick ass at darts for awhile even though almost all the ones I threw went on the floor! My sister was yelling ’cause she was losing, something awful.

It was fun for awhile but then I benched it for the rest of the night so Tony’s drunk ass could play but he was no better. His friend Chris was makin’ us all laugh ’cause he is a frontman for this band and we call him the Rock Star. Plus Tony called him Fuckin’ Chris once so now Chris is always calling Tony Fuckin’ Tony and it’s really funny. He was calling Donna, “Crazy Donna” and Donna was like, “Whatever” when he called her that.

Sandy and I were all yelling about how come we don’t have nicknames. It was really fun ’cause Chris was really trippin’ us out. He usually has nothing to say but we were laughin’ our asses off at him, plus it was fun to get him in pictures. Ha! I will post them later, for sure.

I got lots more to talk about but I better get some work done or else I’ll be deeper in the hole.

Later…

Grandma passed on Saturday (July 1st), and on Monday I left to go up north to visit with family and attend services. My mom had been at my grandma’s house for the past month or so, and was taking care of her for awhile, so it was nice visiting with her and everyone else again. Grandma’s church filled up quickly. She had a full house. Everybody who knew her loved her and I will especially miss her.

Been busy, really, what with working two jobs and taking up my weekends doing stuff.

I missed work on Monday and am not excited about going back but perhaps I will get my shit together and find something else, and soon. In the meantime I have got lots of other stuff to do. I’ve been going walking regularly with Sandy in the mornings, before work and it’s nice to be able to do that. Went this morning but she wasn’t up to it. I’m sitting here in my tennies, planning my week.

I have to go grab a shower but I’ll be back later with lots more.

If you are someone who is treating cancer or know someone who is, alert them and yourselves by reading the following:

Stay away from the following information touted as genuine medicine for treating cancer:

Anything with the official name of

“Flu-Fighter Laboratories” or “Cancer Cure” as a website title or any website

selling any product called “Cancer Control ®”

Avoid the websites:

flucare.com

cancercure.org

sinusbuster.com

cancerrelief.com

cancercontrol.info

cancer-cure.us

Note: They all look exactly alike and are titled “Cancer Cure”, with all the same information in them. No two are different. The product they are selling is called Cancer Control’s Cancer Cure or Cancer Control ®.

Fox news just did a story on this. The company is run out of a condo in Boca Raton, FL by two people, one of them being Arthur Vanmoor, aka “Big Pimpin’ Pappy”, a notorius Dutch-born Florida pimp and former owner of many different escort services that had been huge in the illegal sex market of Broward County FL and most recently “Flu Fighter Labs” (sometimes written as Flu FIghter Laboratories).

Vanmoor is Mensa-card carrying smart, but of a dangerous demeanor and fraudulent mind. In the past, he’s set up patent requests for very weird things including strange cancer cures with ingredients that do nothing to the human body, and weirdest of all….chastity belts.

Last time Vanmoor was in the local FL news, it was for being arrested on numerous counts of racketeering and profiting from prostitution by supplying escorts to as many as 1,000 men per month.

Vanmoor’s company Flu Fighter Labs is now running its silly game of selling the aforementioned goofy fake cancer medicine through various and sundry websites which all claim that the drug, called “Cancer Control ®” is, “a powerful Immune System Booster that supercharges your immune system into a cancer-seeking guided missile that targets cancerous cells and tumors and destroys them.”

Other noted laughable things on the website include links to a hilariously fake FDA Approval website www.fda-approvals.com (visit http://www.fda.gov to see the real FDA website and compare the two), and the Magazine Articles page, which is full of bogus doctors–for example, there is no such person named Kennedy Ross, M.D. at the University of Austin, Texas! Nor has there ever been.

There is no such article in the San Francisco Chronicle October, 2003 issue that mentions them even though they have this listed on their site. The other weird thing is that Flu Fighter Labs claims to have been a guest on the Sally Jesse Raphael show in 2003. The daytime talk show “Sally” went off the air in 2002!

Inspired by Fox News Channel, full story via New Times
http://www.newtimesbpb.com/Issues/2005-12-22/news/news.html

Same day, different year..

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I know this is sooo late of me…. but I couldn’t resist chiming in on it.

“Fed up with being endlessly told ‘the American people’ have turned against the war in Iraq, Republicans asked the Democrats to show what they had in their hand and vote on a resolution to withdraw the troops. By a vote of 403-3, the House of Representatives wasn’t willing to bet that ‘the American people’ want to pull out of Iraq. (This vote also marked the first time in recent history that the Democrats did not respond to getting their butts kicked by demanding a recount.)” —Ann Coulter

HA HA~! fuckers. That’s what they get.

I heard this really cool analogy about the war in Iraq a couple weeks ago:

Imagine, if you will, that Iraq is like an ornery viscious pitbull that constantly attacks & bites you. To stop him, you first try to grab hold of him, and you got him by the ears. Now you have 2 options, either put take him out (humanely) or let go of him. What’s a better solution?

I say “take ‘em out!” Right? Right.

And the liberals want to let him go…Imagine how ornery he’ll be then!

Same day, different year..

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• Pimpz & Playahs gimme a headache…no matter what KIND – 2005

Have you ever checked this site out…. http://www.tardcore.com/

I was like WTF?? And there was this chick on there who had linked to her high school seniors pics gallery and I was perusing it and thought, “OK my mom would hella NEVER let me take seniorr pics like that back in the day…cleavage galore!” Some of those pictures were totally gratuitous!

Back when I graduated high school (1991) I had a sweater and turtleneck on in my pics. That is uber ridiculous! My kids never gonna have pics like that for high school. And I don’t care if she’s 18 or not Then I thought…Goshdammit I’m such a prude.

Anyway…Tardcore. What’s it all about?? Teeny boppers? No shanks. It looks like myspace, but without the “pimps and playaz” and bimbos running the joint. Upon further perusal I found I guessed wrong. Yeah right! Looks the same to me. Just more goth and nerdy…pimps and playas who are goth/nerdy.

Now theres a concept! “We dont want to be sheep, so let’s all be goth and nerdy pimpz and playaz…” Big diff. Now you all belong to a flock of goth pimpz and nerdy playaz. Whatever.

And dont’ git me started on that emo shit. It’s fucking rock and roll. Call it that…albiet WHINY rock and roll….but still. I can’t understand these kids today. They can’t just have something someone else has…it has to have their own stupid stamp on it. I guess because I’m over 30 I ve decided to be a grownup and anyone younger than me makes no sense to me. Well I don’t care. I just want whats in their wallets. I’m old and set in my ways. And broke. But enterprising!

“When I was a tyke we trudged through 30 feet of snow, uphill and with snot coming out of our noses, for 43 miles to school every day. And WE LIKED IT THAT WAY”
-Grouchy old man from SNL ala Dana Carvey

OK I have a headache now, from looking at all these emo people who hate punks and mall people

I gave it another shot. Um…No. I just spent 2 mins surfing the forums at Tardcore.com, and I can safely say I’ll not be partaking in any more of that.

Same day, different year..

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