Kiss My Sass » Blog Archive » Home, Sweet…Blechhhhhhh

I live in a tiny, cramped 2nd floor apartment on Rice street above some offices. I have all my 9 windows on one side and guess what, it’s the West side! So in the summer it’s scorching and in the winter it’s scorching. I almost never have to turn the radiators on in the winter during the day, at least not if it’s sunny. If it’s cloudy, then maybe. Once the sun goes down, between October and March, it’s #*$)(@# frreeeezing in here. Thank God I have a decent digital a/c for summer. Else I’d go berzerk.

My neighborhood is scary. The SuperAmerica has been closed since December. Everyone I’ve talked to (business owners and residents) all say it is because of too much theft. When it was open, they had permanent red plates screwed to all the gas pumps that it was pre-pay for gas purchase. The store had 2 cm-thick, clear plexiglass guard all around the counter between you and the cashier. You had to talk through a little hole in the clear window, and hold up your bread or whatever you were buying to the glass so they could scan it. There was a cop in the store after 6 at night. When there wasn’t one (which was often), the plexi-guard would go down around the counter.

I once got my purse and notebook ripped off of me while walking down the street just after it got dark out, last October.

The building I live in is for sh**.

Until the owners of the building put a lock on the outside door leading to the lobby where the mailboxes and door buzzers were, there was constantly graffiti and trash (we’re not talking the occasional paper or candy wrapper here–try chicken bones, marijuana refuse, someone chucking their half empty can of Colt 45 on the floor) all over the common areas, and someone or something was always peeing in a corner of the elevator.

People would walk in off the street, and buzz all the apartments, feigning the ‘I left my keys upstairs’ excuse. When, for the most part, they turned out to be just coming upstairs to bother tenants and/or just get in from the cold so they could smoke weed or have sex in the laundry room and basically trash the building.

Some of the people in the building are loud and obnoxious. One of my neighbors used to have loud parties at all hours, even during the week, and she was 19 and had 40 and 50 year old men hanging around. It had to be drugs or booze. 50 and 19 year olds dont have that much in common! She had a 3 year old kid out of wedlock, the product of her being raped by a man who was then her mother’s boyfriend. In the summer she would hang out her window and yell at strange men outside to come see her. She finally got evicted but there are still some characters in the building.

Once there was no washers or dryers working for 2 weeks because some dolt decided to try to crowbar-open the money receptacles of the machines to get the quarters out, thus making the machines inoperable.

I don’t know if the neighborhood is getting better, but I will move soon in any case. I just hate moving. I don’t drive and that keeps me from being as flexible as I would like. I’m considering moving back to South St. Paul because it was quiet and about $100 cheaper rent. I have terrible credit after spending years trying to get my business off the ground, so my options are limited.

This is no home. I wouldn’t put my worst enemy up in this joint. But it’s where I hang my hat for now. Until things get better for me.

Same day, different year..

Other posts on this day:

  • A day without a bunch of Mexicans – 2006

Kiss My Sass » Blog Archive » Grace is clearly not my middle name

I’m so not careful and very clumsy. Heidi’s post yesterday reminded me of this.

I’ve ruined my legs, and sprained my ankles and wrists (yes, as an ADULT!) enough times to know better. But then as you may or may not recall, I went and took an even more fabulous fall than she did!

I’m lucky to be alive!  Yes, indeedy.

Kiss My Sass » Blog Archive » Can you hear me now? And I need to NUKE stuff!

I bought a new phone!

My phone system is buggin’ out, and slowly but surely practically dying. This set is an AT&T one with 2 cordless handsets, one goes into the base which has a digital answering machine, time/date, etc. and the other goes into a mini base/dock which only requires an A/C plug.

Anyhew, either the batteries in both handsets have worn down and need replacing, or the entire system does. I found folks telling me a few weeks back that I sounded far away and muffled on the phone. I forgot I had dropped one of the handsets on the hard stone tile flooring in my house one day, but that wouldn’t explain why the display on both handsets was choppy and why the buttons were hard to use.

The deal with the display is that it has missing characters, and I can barely read the caller ID, not to mention the number I was dialing. With the buttons, I found myself having to push a button 3-4 times and really deliberately, pressing down HARD, because the buttons became ornery and I had problems getting them to “take” when dialing a number.

Well, I did some math and found that if I just replaced the batteries, it would cost me about $8-11 EACH, plus the cost of shipping, to get them cheap on eBay or one of the many online stores devoted to selling batteries/electronic accessories, so for a few bucks more, I figured I could just get a new phone system altogether.

I was reading up on the latest phones on the web and found out about this new DECT technology which has been used in phone systems in Europe for about a decade now and there are phones which now are being sold in the US that have this technology. It’s basically better than your standard cordless phone technology because it has far less chance of interfering with other electronics (microwaves, home Internet networks, CB radio, stereos) and allows for ultra clarity from an even farther range than you would get without static/signal loss from an ordinary cordless system.

I saw these Panasonic DECT phone systems on Amazon.com selling for about $70 with free shipping.

Anyway, I found the same system being sold on eBay for about half, and snatched one up in a hurry! It’s yet to ship, as I paid for it yesterday and the store that sold it on eBay is not open until Monday.  But I can’t wait to get it! Also, this new system has nice easy touch buttons so I won’t have to pound on them like I was on my current system.

This all reminds me… I have to buy a new microwave. *Sigh*. Yes. Mine shorted out a week or two ago. So cooking in this heat has become a challenge since I can only use the stovetop range/oven, if I want to eat something other than sandwiches/salads!

Kiss My Sass » It's Personal

Sunday, July 6th, 2008

I bought a new phone! My phone system is buggin’ out, and slowly but surely practically dying. This set is an AT&T one with 2 cordless handsets, one goes into the base which has a digital answering machine, time/date, etc. and the other goes into a mini base/dock which only requires an A/C plug.

Anyhew, either […]

Friday, May 9th, 2008

Our family always did something special with or for Mom every year on Mother’s day weekend. And of course, cards and special long distance chats were sent from us, up north, to Reach Out and Touch dear Grandma as well.
Now that Grandma and Dad are both gone, Mother’s day seems an especially important and simple excuse to get together […]

Wednesday, October 24th, 2007

So.  Guess what?  I’m diabetic.  Yep.  Got the results in last week from the doc. Yippee. More later!                

Saturday, September 29th, 2007

I’ve been trying to eat healthier lately, not only because I’m borderline diabetic (at least I think I am, the blood glucose test I take next week will say so for certain), but also because, let’s face it… healthy food tastes better!
Here is one recipe I will share with you which I concocted on my […]

Thursday, March 1st, 2007

You know what I meant.  So I’m a little backwards.  Deal.  Just a little update on the home front…

After my last post about my living situation, I was able to get my mom to help…after much yelling and swearing from her end, about how I’m “a grownup and this is not my problem, and look how many times I’ve […]

Kiss My Sass » Out of sheer boredom

Monday, July 14th, 2008

I think this cartooonist knows me.  Or it’s a scary coincidence… Take a type A personality, combine it with some sarcasm and “know-it-all-ism” and you have these… *click to enlarge

Sunday, April 20th, 2008

Completely stole this from Renn… thought hers was intriguing and decided to take my own.Results below:

Your Five Factor Personality Profile

Extroversion: You have high extroversion. You are outgoing and engaging, with both strangers and friends. You truly enjoy being with people and bring energy into any situation. Enthusiastic and fun, you’re the first to say “let’s go!” Conscientiousness:

You have high […]

Thursday, February 21st, 2008

In a few days, I’m moving out of the ghetto-ass building and neighborhood I currently live in and into a swanky, sparkly, new place, which is practically going to be a lifestyle upgrade, not to mention a breeze to live in.  More on that later, though. 
Tonight I decided not to cook because a) I’m working on a deadline for a client […]

Monday, December 18th, 2006

Yesterday I went to SuperTarget and they had Ben & Jerry’s pints for 2 for $4 (normally almost $4/each).  So I picked up a couple.  Or six.  Yeah, so I’m post-menstrual.  I need ice cream now and then.  Deal.
I was a bit upset that they didn’t have one of my faves–Chunky Monkey.  Something about banana […]

Sunday, December 17th, 2006

Sean Connery… raising brows for years 

One of my classmates, Shane K. could do this all the time.  He would do it when someone said something stupid.  When something someone said was supposed to funny but he didn’t get it (which I thought was sooo clever instead of just saying, “I don’t get it”).  The eyebrow that […]

Kiss My Sass » Jokes & Random Shit

Friday, November 3rd, 2006

Weird Al Yankovic does the 60’s-70’s

“Hot Rocks Polka”

Wednesday, May 10th, 2006

People For The Ethical Treatment Of Animals (PETA) has a neat little ‘Ask PETA’ section on their website, of things you could ask them.  Potfry decided to come up with some clever ones… Check it out: http://potfry.blogspot.com/2006/05/ask-peta.html

Tuesday, January 10th, 2006

…here’s how to take a shower. Ladies: Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks. Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. If you see husband/boyfriend along the way, cover up any exposed areas. Look at your womanly physique in the mirror – make mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.

Get in […]

Monday, December 19th, 2005

I know this is sooo late of me…. but I couldn’t resist chiming in on it.
“Fed up with being endlessly told ‘the American people’ have turned against the war in Iraq, Republicans asked the Democrats to show what they had in their hand and vote on a resolution to withdraw the troops. By a vote […]

Saturday, June 25th, 2005

Okay, so some of these a bit old (but I never read about some of the older ones until today) and some are more recent. But they’re all true funny stories about people calling the police/911 for stupid reasons. Woman jailed after calling 911 about pizza man A ‘Fowl’ case? You only cut the one you love…

Leave a […]

Thursday, November 11th, 2004 Thursday, October 11th, 2001

My Aussie friend Kath sent this to me…enjoy
1.) Pick cat up and cradle it in the crook of your left arm as if holding a baby. Position right forefinger and thumb on either side of cat’s mouth and gently apply pressure to cheeks while holding pill in right hand. As cat opens mouth, pop pill […]

Thursday, September 6th, 2001

Doctor Dave had slept with one of his patients and had felt guilty all day long. No matter how much he tried to forget about it, he couldn’t. The guilt and sense of betrayal was overwhelming. But every once in a while he’d hear a soothing voice within himself, trying to reassure him:

“Dave, don’t worry about it. […]

Saturday, May 13th, 2000

The Y2K scare is only a distant memory now. The future never looked brighter. But wait… If you have not yet taken the proper precautions you may still find yourself waking up one morning to a computer disaster of apocalyptic proportions.  Evil Conspiracy Theory

Did you ever consider that the same people who made all that money […]

Monday, April 17th, 2000

I have just been through the annual pilgrimage of torture and humiliation known as buying a bathing suit. Back in the 1940s, the bathing suit for a woman with a mature figure was designed for a woman with a mature figure: boned, trussed, and reinforced, not so much sewn, as engineered. They were built to […]

Friday, January 21st, 2000

20) The cucumber has left the salad. 19) I can see the gun of Navarone. 18) Someone tore down the wall, and your Pink Floyd is hanging out. 17) You’ve got Windows on your laptop. 16) Sailor Ned’s trying to take a little shore leave. 15) Your soldier ain’t so unknown now.

14) Quasimodo needs to go back in the tower […]

Kiss My Sass » Blog Archive » Most embarrassing thing I did in public, to date

On my 21st birthday, two of my friends took me out to what was then called “Glam Slam”. This was back in the mid 90’s. Since about 2000 or so, it’s been called the Quest nightclub (OK I think I just dated myself there).

I was told when I got there, that I would be getting a free drink. A few minutes into our visit, I had already drunk a couple of shots, given to me by my friends. I think at least two of them were administered TO me rather than me drinking them myself. Sometimes friends can be so mean! So I decided to leave them and start next mission: to get my free drink.

I went up to the coat check lady who was the nearest “official”-looking person nearest me, and asked her about how to get my special free drink because it is my birthday. I think I even asked her the question exactly that way (keep in mind my friends already tossed a few shots down my throat).

So she says to me, “Look for a man in a brown suit, he has brown wavy hair and a mustache. His name is Peter and he is the manager. He can tell you how to get your free drink.”

So I wandered around the joint for what seemed like hours, going up to every man sporting a mustache and wearing what I guessed was a brown suit but in many cases I wasn’t sure (it was dark and smoky in that place!) and asking, “Are you Peter?”

After meeting many men not named Peter, (some very nice and some not very nice at all), I decided to go look around and see what I could see. I was very merry, what with my 3 or so shots making me buzzy, and having a good time, all by my little self.

I strolled casually around and saw this nook of the club, where the wall was hollowed out to allow for a sort of gift shop. There was a counter with glass display and a few other glass display type shelves with souveneir type stuff on them, mainly Prince (or actually the symbol representing at that time what he wanted to be called, “The Artist Formerly Known As Prince” Everyone knows we can all call him Prince again)

Anyway.

A few feet in front of this gift shop area, stood a couch with a canvas draped on it, covering the whole thing, and the canvas covering was very pretty, with patterns and abstract looking stuff all over it. In front of, and around the couch was a velvet rope, to cordon it off (I didnt’ know this at the time, and thought it just was for seperating the store from the nightclub). I proceeded to plop down onto the couch, crossed my legs, and make myself comfy. I was running my hand along the canvas, admiring it, when I saw a price tag hanging on the couch (I don’t remember the price but it was outlandish) and the tag also said “This is art for sale, Please do not sit on it”. I leaped up from the couch (and stumbled) and nearly yelled, “Whoops!”. I don’t know if anyone saw me.

So then I meander over to the counter where there was lots of stuff to buy and this man was talking very intimately it seemed, to the woman behind the counter. She was drumming the counter with her very long red fingernails and I said to her, “Those aren’t real are they?” and she just smiled and went back to talking with the dude.

Now. Before I continue and say what happened next, I must state the following. Some of you may nod your head in agreement when I say this, and some might not. So I’ll explain as clearly as I can. When one is drunk and/or buzzed that there can be a few minutes of sheer clear-headedness, where you know EXACTLY WHAT’S UP in a situation. This weird sense of what’s true and what’s bullshit, sort of clairvoyance.

Anyway.

I don’t know why, but something told me to to turn to the man talking to Miss Red Dragon Lady Nails and while wagging my finger at the two of them, say, (okay, slur), “You. Two. Are fffffucking.  Aren’tchya?”

He walked away.

I think he was snickering while he was walking away, but he had his head down so I couldn’t really tell. In either case I thought I just successfully cock-blocked him from having a date with her at any rate. I pointed at an item under the glass and told the lady behind the counter that I wanted to buy it. She sneered and glared at me the entire time but did her job and I paid for it and started walking away.

When I did, I ran into my friends, who told me they had been frantic looking for me (they were much older than me by a few years each and this was my first time in a nightclub in Mpls) and when I told them I was going around looking for my free drink they both near fell to the floor laughing hysterically and I didn’t get the joke. When they recovered from their laughter, one of them told me that the 2nd shot I drank when we first got to the club, was my free birthday drink!

When it was time to leave, we were walking down the street in downtown Minneapolis and I was going up to people asking for birthday spankings, birthday kisses, etc., from even the most unsavory looking characters. Apparently I was very loud and embarrassing the crap out of my friends. They were so ashamed and shocked at me, because even though they knew I was a fun person they had no idea I would act so strangely and obnoxiously!
By the time we got to the parked car, they about put me in the trunk, they were so annoyed with me. (One of them didn’t have more than 2 drinks in the span of quite a few hours so yes, we were safe to drive) but the next day they were still my friends.

I can only say the reason I’m able to remember much of this story is thanks in large part to them retelling it to me for years. I seemed never to have lived it down yet!

Thankfully it’s still my only most weird/embarrassing/wild thing in public story so far.

PS – the thing I bought was a pack of orange Tic-Tacs in the clear plastic container, but the Tic-Tac label was covered entirely by a gold seal with Glam Slam and the Artist Formerly Known as Prince symbol on it. I never opened it, and I still have it to this day, somewhere in the depths of one of my closets. The last time I ran into it looking for something else, the Tic-Tacs were gray in color and all stuck to each other inside the plastic container.

Same day, different year..

Other posts on this day:

Kiss My Sass » Blog Archive » Why you should vote Republican this fall

Check out this video

Same day, different year..

Other posts on this day:

  • Gotta Love Weird Al – 2006

This entry was posted on Friday, November 3rd, 2006 at 10:31 pm and is filed under Politicians Are Funny, The State of the Union. You can follow responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Responses are currently closed, but you can trackback from your site.

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Kiss My Sass » Carnival of The Mundane

Friday, June 9th, 2006

Now I’m sure all of you carnies have been waiting with baited breath for the next Carnival of The Mundane to show up at my humble blog.
Some of you submitted more than one post, in which case, I could not discern whether it meant you suffered from plain old fashioned pigheadedness or if perhaps you […]

Kiss My Sass » Wanton Link Whoring

Friday, June 9th, 2006

Now I’m sure all of you carnies have been waiting with baited breath for the next Carnival of The Mundane to show up at my humble blog.
Some of you submitted more than one post, in which case, I could not discern whether it meant you suffered from plain old fashioned pigheadedness or if perhaps you […]

Sunday, May 21st, 2006

Carnival of the Insanities is up, at Dr. Sanity.  Go and check it out. Literature Carnival 12, hosted at Much Madness is Divinest Sense is up, as of Saturday. and Carnival of the Stars went up on Saturday, too, at Don Surber’s blog.

Enjoy!

Sunday, May 14th, 2006

The Best of Me Symphony is up over at The Owner’s Manual.
Check it out…

Sunday, June 26th, 2005

Is up, over at The Owner’s Manual. Below are the contributors this time around: Conservative Cat: Confused Americans for Truth – Pie a la Liberal Watcher of Weasels looks at The Undiscovered Country. Multiple Mentality reflects on just how expensive Girl Scout Cookies have become ROFASix: Afraid of “more” Democracy in America. The Owner’s Manual presents: Homeopathetic

Pratie Place: People having […]

Thursday, June 23rd, 2005

Fast-forward to August. Gitmo is shut down, despite the best efforts of those who tried to keep it alive. The detainees, on their way to the new facilities, were mysteriously zapped into a time warp of the Happy, dappy 50’s. Bet you’re thinking, “God Allah help them!” “Those ca-razy kids!”

They were in some nice small rural town […]

Wednesday, June 22nd, 2005

Just because he’s been oh so generous to my blog ever since I joined up to The Alliance, I think I ought to wish Harvey a Happy (albeit belated) Blogiversary!
Rumor has it that Bad Example is now 2 years old. Ah, just a wee laddy, that blog o’yers. But I’ll shut my alehole now so […]

Tuesday, June 21st, 2005

This is what you get when you try to comment on a post over at Huffington’s Ghost. er…Roast. Shit. Huffington’s… Boast? Ack. Post. Yeah that’s it. Anyway, where was I? Oh. Yeah. Here: Regex ID: 119 (roulette) appears to be an invalid regex string! Please fix it in the Blacklist control panel.

Regex ID: 120 (poker) appears to be an invalid regex string! Please […]

Tuesday, June 21st, 2005

Hi everyone, My name is beej and I’m a Link Whore. [clap, clap, clap] “Welcome, beej!”

My petty life of a link whore, all started back in October of 1999. That was when Yahoo! merged with Geocities and I started a web page (which was updated manually every day or so). Yes, boys and girls, this was before […]

Tuesday, May 31st, 2005

Mark your calendars folks. Rather than the usual ‘indeed’ or ‘hmmm.’ That Mr. Reynolds of Instapundit normally uses as his commentary on a news story or post, today he has chosen to use ’sigh’. It must be a holiday! The proof is in the pudding… er pie! Glenn digs into a celebratory slice of *sigh* pie

Picture Time […]

Monday, May 30th, 2005

Get Well, Mr. Al-Zarqawi!
New Precision Guided Humor Assignment: A Card for Zarqawi

Sunday, May 22nd, 2005

I have been on a much-deserved hiatus for the last year or so, as far as blogging at day lee goes. Of course I did a few posts here and there but I took the blog roll down for the main reason that I decided if I’m not posting regularly there will be no […]

Friday, December 29th, 2000

Guess what?! day lee has been awarded ‘Site of the Week’ by About.com!

Whoo hoo for me.

Yup. They even interviewed me and here is the tell-all.

I am too tired to celebrate, however…I worked 14 hours today, between jobs one and two, got downtown and missed my layover bus. So I stopped in to Gallivan’s, for a beer since […]