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News Of The Day comes highly recommended by me. So go read it. If I wore a sandwich board while out and about, I’d paint their URL onto it in a heartbeat. If that’s not enough encouragement to make you leave my site and go to a better one, then how’s this for a sales pitch? (like anyone needs the power of suggestion to exit day lee)

Please don’t leave!

Please at least come back!

*ugh* Okay then please at least bookmark me!

Damn.

Okay then how’s about I give you a buck if you stay for another 20 seconds, at least? *wink*.

PS – Thanks for the nice letters, Kenny and Ryan…much luck to youse guys in all your endeavors. I will continue to read, as well as send people running from my site to yours. I figure I’m out about 50 bucks by the time you’re done reading this entry. Hi ho, hi ho, it’s off to PayPal I go.

Same day, different year..

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• Real classic movie line, or just a funny edit? – 2006

Good Morning Minnesota!
On Tuesday, Good Morning America visited my great home state of Minnesota. They had fun…yes, THERE’S FUN TO BE HAD IN MINNESOTA!!

Some random facts about Minnesota:

Prince, a.k.a. The artist formerly known as the symbol no one can find on their keyboard, and Five Finger Discount Shopping Mall Princess Winona Ryder, are from Minnesota.

So is General Mills, the company that brings you Green Giant, Yoplait, Pillsbury, Betty Crocker, Bisquick products, and just about every cereal you like.

So are staplers and staples, roller blades, water skis, Hormel and Spam Food products, Pearson’s Candy Company (maker of the famous MoonPies, Nut Goodie and Salted Nut Roll) and many, many other fabu things they don’t tell you in geography class. So there. Come visit us next time you figure out you don’t have enough money to go to Tahiti ’cause you spent all your dough on online porn.

Best times to visit:
Love spring, tulips, gardens, lots of green things, and cool days? (go in late May-early June)

Love crisp, cool autumn days, lots of colorful trees? Go in early-to-mid October, peak color time depends on where in Minnesota you go.

Like winter sports, lots of snow, romantic cold evenings in front of the fire? Go in mid-winter (Late Jan-early Feb)

Like it so fucking hot that the only thing you have to do to make beads of sweat spring out on your forehead is just poke your head out the window? Like to stand in line for hours on end at silly ride parks on such hot, sunny days? I’m talking 100 degrees? Then come in July or August. Be damned sure your lodging facility has air conditioning.

Things to avoid:
The Mall (brawl, sprawl, maul) of America

The airport (hard to avoid that, haha)

Either of the downtowns – Minneapolis or St. Paul (just between 6:30-9:00am, 3:30-5:30pm, any other times are fine).

If you like road trips mainly because you want scenery, I highly recommend visiting this page to find your best route. However, if you like road trips that involve stuffing you and all your buddies, your bong and your old rock-n-roll cassette tapes into a hatchback and getting truly lost, I recommend traveling through this state.

The Explore Minnesota web site has a calendar of events to partake in, and even a trip planner program to help you best take advantage of all the great things our state has to offer.

Everybody Deep Link Tonight
According to the company that represents The Dallas Morning News website, deep linking allows web surfers to miss the advertising placed on its home page. Aww, too bad, huh?

In case you didn’t already know, BarkingDog.org’s site has been issued a Cease and Desist letter by the parent company of Dallas News (Belo) for linking directly to an article rather than sending the browser to the main home page first. How many of us MeFi’ers and bloggers out there have um…already done this, a million times over, with other such news sites? How about almost all of us? So far, the U.S. District Courts have ruled such linking to not be illegal, as long as the source of the article is clearly identified. Of course it’s not the first time that companies have tried to sue against deep linking, an article at Wired points out.

Let’s all deep link our arses off, to The Dallas Morning News, because how likely is it that the Belo lawyers are going to fire off letters to each of us? Of course this issue has already been talked to near-death by my pals at MeFi, but this is just my stance on the whole thing. [courtesy of Dot Blog

Caution: Weblog Reviews Not Meant For Euphorians Or The Faint Of Heart
This bastard had the cajones to sit there at his lameass ‘Plastic Electric’ blog and call me a bad reviewer and said, here, let me take a stab at reviewing! I bet I could do a better job than you. He couldn’t hang. Just as I guessed would happen, eventually, he quit. Sucka! Meanwhile, I’m on #6 and still going strong. PS – What the fuck is Plastic Electric, anyway? Some kind of gay ass way of calling yourself a libertarian?

Same day, different year..

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• Nothing makes me happier – 2006

Okay, that’s pretty acceptable. Being that this is a Brunching Shuttlecocks toy, I thought for sure I was in for a doozy. Me likey. I keep it now.

Notice the ASCI name dealie on the top of the page? Neat huh. ASCI is cool again. I want to make a whole page of it. I once got an e-mail with a Kermit the Frog head made entirely in ASCI code.

For some reason, my creativity crystals are flowing at warp speed today. Pretty refreshing for a Monday. So noted. I shall take adavantage of this and go work on some porn (just how creative is that, I ask you? bah..). But not before I post my regular Monday participation stuffs.

Same day, different year..

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Idiot Criminal of the Week
A suspected drug dealer must not have had anywhere to stash his crack cocaine and marijuana, authorities said, so he brought it with him to court.

Duron Ford, 19, had a court appearance Monday on drug possession charges. Knowing Ford was due in court, officers approached him in the courthouse to serve a warrant on an unrelated case.

As police closed in on him, Ford reportedly said, “Man, I got the blow on me.”

After 10 police officers corralled Ford in the hallway of the Fayette County courthouse, they found he was carrying about two grams of crack cocaine and some marijuana.

“We would hope that they have enough brain cells to know not to bring illicit drugs into the courthouse,” said Ford’s court-appointed attorney, Jeffrey Witeko.

Ford was in jail after being arraigned on charges of drug possession and resisting arrest.

Idiot Parents of the Week
Chris Winston named his son William, but Hoover might have been a better choice. Little William is only 21 months but he already has an obsession: vacuum cleaners. His dad says William is so obsessed that “some rooms get vacuumed every 12 hours.”

Little William isn’t just stuck on vacuum cleaners, he also likes watching vacuuming videos for hours at a time.

Unfortunately William’s mom erased his prized video: a late-night infomercial for a vacuum cleaner called the Stick Shark.

William’s been throwing a fit ever since, forcing his parents to get a new copy of the Stick Shark infomercial.

Unfortunately, infomercial broadcasts aren’t listed in “TV Guide.”

Now, the Winstons are so desperate, they’re taping vacuuming footage off the QVC channel in hopes of sucking up to their child.

Same day, different year..

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• Tonite I am finally able to relax – 2000

Love Hurts
This past week in Rome, GA, a man by the name of Getty Garnsberger proposed to his wife in a very creative fashion. Garnsberger told us that, “Most guys get on one knee and ask their pretty girlfriend to marry them. It is in my opinion that guys who get on one knee are pussies and are their wife’s bitch for life. I love my lady, but I don’t want her to think that I am her bitch, and that’s why I proposed to her like this.”

Garnsberger proposed to his future bride by hanging above her via metal hooks and wire punctured through the skin and muscle tissue new game where you pinch altar boys’ asses until you win!

Same day, different year..

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• Weekend Blog Carnivals – 2006

Five-Finger Discount Shopping Mall Princess Winona Ryder
Provided SNL audiences with guffaws at her own expense, while hosting the show’s season finale last weekend. The actress, who was arrested and accused of shoplifting at Los Angeles’ SAKS FIFTH AVENUE store in December, must wait until later this month to face the charges in court – but she remains defiant.

Editor’s Note: Rock star Moby appeared with Ryder in a skit that was a sort of nutty re-enactment of the shoplifting incident. I myself found it particularly ironic (and somewhat funny) that Moby, a.k.a. Mr. No Brand Name Material Things For Me, Thanks, was able to place himself in such a position…even if it WAS a pretend shopping mall.

Same day, different year..

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• Weekend Blog Carnivals – 2006

Okay, so Rosie O’Donnell is done
Then why the *$$&# is the show still on ?? Did I tell you that I once had a dream about that show? I did. But rather than go into it here, I’ve filed it over here, with my other stories about celebrity dreams. Yes, I have dreams about celebrities. Is that an oddity? I think so. I’d rather have them then nightmares, if I could choose, but if that is strange then so be it.

Speaking of gay people…
A recent bill, which was proposed to provide death benefits to the beneficiaries of 10 specific victims (all officers or firefighters, some whom had saved lives) of the 9/11 WTC attacks, was not passed by House Republicans yesterday. The article says that the bill was rejected partly because of the potential cost of each benefit ($250,000) and partly because the politicians snubbed the victims. Why? Because their beneficiaries were not “spouses, parents, or children” of the officers, but in fact ‘domestic partners’. So fucking what? Let them have their money. I consider myself pretty ‘middle of the road’ most of the time, when it comes to partisan stance, but COME ON. Sometimes the uber-conservative just kill me with their ways of thinking.

Same day, different year..

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Back to the 80’s

The 80’s are back, and in a big way. In music, in fashion, in movies and other stuff. Take a look around you. You can’t miss it. I posted some great 80’s links for your pleasure (but mostly mine, heh heh):

Test your knowledge on the ‘Me’ decade
Take “The 80’s Are Back Pack” quiz and see for yourself how good you are. Fun stuff, if you remember all of that. I remember parts of it.

80’s Fashion
Have you noticed? Take a close look at some of the TV, movie, and music stars next time you flip through an issue of People or watch a talk show.
J-lo for instance, is supposedly ’stunning’ in this gown at her ‘Enough’ movie premier. If that’s ’stunning’ you should see me in my raggedy old bathrobe at 8am! Eddie Griffin wore an old-school style jogging suit to his Conan O’Bryan appearance yesterday. It made me wanna bust out my old Run DMC tape and play ‘My Adidas’ and ‘Peter Piper’. Either that or go roller-skating while someone plays ‘Saturday’ by De La Soul on a boom box.

Did you also notice the 80’s-inspired songs that are on the radio nowadays?
Indeed. Look at the video for the new song by ‘No Doubt’…the song sounds so eighties, and what the hell are they wearing?
Here’s a directory page full of 80’s song links and lyrics that will surely take you back to those oh-so-happy days of greed and goodness, Cabbage Patch Dolls and Rubix Cubes, A Flock Of Seagulls and Hall & Oates good time, all rolled into one decade. Watching ‘The Wedding Singer’ kinda brought me back too, only that was just a smidgen of things from the 80’s that I loved.

Same day, different year..

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Entertainment Bits
Here’s where I yammer about some recent happenings in the media. Why do I feel like I have to explain myself? Ugh. I’m a dork. Deal.

Look What I Can Do!
Unlike alot of people, I didn’t pay much attention to magician David Blaine’s recent ‘trick’, he called Vertigo. Whatever. Big deal. So you can stand still for 35 hours. Cool. My dad worked as a baker for 35 years, standing like that (well, moving a little) for 10 hours a day. Give the boy his Guinness World Record and tell him to shut it. Anyway, this is what I did watch last night, since I don’t watch The West Wing and don’t have cable, for much else:

Bada-Bing
That’s about how quickly the fight went down last night at Celebrity Boxing II, on FOX TV. Joanie Laurer, formerly known as China (Chyna? Cheina? whatever..) got her ass handed to her by Joey Buttafuoco, however an unfair battle it may have been. He basically avoided tossing too many body shots or punches and concentrated on throwing her around like a domestic assault victim. When it was over the host asked Joey and China how they felt the fight went, and Joey says some bullshit about being in the pen and being innocent (I guess it’s like shell-shock, once you’ve been in a war, you talk about nothing else). Joanie says that she thought it was an unfair fight, but let her and Joey get in ‘her ring’ and play by ‘her rules’ and then see how things go! Um…isn’t she retired from pro wrestling? John Wayne Bobbit was originally Buttafuoco’s opponent in this match but I guess he was in the hospital for something.
Olga Korbut versus Darva Conger: Darva kicked Olga’s ass, as I had expected, being she outweighs and outreaches Olga by a bit, it was a very agressive match. Basically the audience has Darva in their sights, and booed and hissed and cussed the whole time she was being introduced and whatnot (I don’t like her either, she’s a stupid bitch), but then the crowd loved her once she proved herself a worthy competitor.
Ron Palillo, 48 (aka Arnold Horshak from 70’s TV fame “Welcome Back Kotter”) versus Dustin Diamond, 25 (aka Screech from Saved By The Bell): What the hell was the show’s producers thinking? Horshak is lighter than Diamond by over 30 lbs., and quite a bit older. Therefore, Diamond kicked his patooty to the other hemisphere.
The African basketball player, Manute Bol kicked William “Refrigerator” Perry’s ass, but I didn’t see that fight ’cause I was in the other room.

No Laughing Matter
Is ABC news bored? Have nothing else to offer? They must be. Evident as in this recent article, praising and picking on clowns good and bad, respectively. One thing it mentions is coulrophobia. The fear of clowns. Are there THAT MANY PEOPLE with this affliction? Who knew? I mean, come ON, I get scared of normal things like dark alleys, extreme heights, etc. Do any of you really know of anyone who suffers from this? I can’t help but giggle. I mean, I don’t think clowns are all that funny. Funny-looking, maybe. I don’t laugh at them as much as I pity them. Go ahead. Call me a meanie.

Same day, different year..

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Okay Now I’m Bored
All you’s sweet lil’ preteen Britney Spears fans go to beddy-bye before you read any further. Might give you nightmares. Don’t want that.

I was hanging out over at Kung Foo for a bit and now I’m just about ready to go to bed. But not before I post another link, which I happened to find at KF. Yeah I STOLE THE LINK FROM THEM, BEYATCH! So sue me. Anyhoo, here’s America’s Sweetheart tokin’ it up in Marlboro Country. Ain’t that sweet and precious? What a good Baptist girl hypocrite.

nighty-night.

Same day, different year..

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