Category: Uncategorized

Before I go on and on and on, I just wanna say that it is DRAFTY in this mofer tonight!

*teeth chattering*

Got home from job #2 late, as usual. Didn’t make any sales, but then again, I can’t sell a plastic baggie to a dude walking his dog in the park. I am never sleepy when I get home and have the tendancy to sit on the phone or surf the net while catching a rebroadcast of the Daily Show so’s I can keep up with the news and whatnot.

Things to ponder:

Bill Shatner spouting lyrics to cheesy long-forgotten Dionne Warwick songs in a lounge singer style manner, with a unwittingly pitied house band behind him, does not a good tv commerical make. If I see another one I WILL hurl. This is just as obnoxious, if not more, than the one with the kid who burps the alphabet, for God knows what product/service they are advertising. I have forgotten already.

Also, what’s happened to customer service? Do not, I repeat, do NOT go to Qwest.com if you are considering switching phone companies or DSL providers. If there is a prize for a marathon RUN-A-ROUND, these people won it. In a time span of seven minutes I went from dialing the phone to LOST in the GD woods.

Initially I was greeted by the usual BS automated menu system, at which I was given several prompts, none of which really suited my call. This is where you have to decide just WHICH messed up department you need to speak to, depending on the nature of your call. You always think, “…well no, I should really press ‘4′ because I want to get a credit on my account since I never use this, but then again, I need to go to ‘8′ because I returned the equipment and need to get credit for that also.”

So while you’re thinking these things you are like, “Well I don’t want to get the wrong department and get a pissed off person and then really get screwed…” so you just pick one. Three minutes later you get a LIVE PERSON *gasp!* who gives you a different 800 number to call. You’re almost gracious and are lead into believing you have gotten ‘the HOOK UP’ or something, LOL.

After speaking with *gasp!* anothe LIVE PERSON, you are then given anothe phone number, which is totally different but you think, “well, they know what they are doing, right?” Some couple minutes later you find you have called 4 different phone numbers, 2 of which are the same, and you are somehow BACK to the main number you called in the first place. ARRRGGGGGHHHH! Smoke break! Do you scream or just cry? I nearly did both. Finally I was put through to the right person and had my problem solved. Or so I thought. They had billed me for DSL I don’t even use. They said they’d adjust my account and note it in the system. Today I get a disconnection notice. Go friggin’ figure.

Did you know that N’Sync is STILL the #1 most searched-for item in the category of ‘music’ in the internet search engines? True. Saw it at mamma.com.

…last, but certainly NOT least, the BIGGEST thing to ponder remains: Who the HELL let the dogs out??!!!

Noteworthy (or not) sites I caught tonight:

Cartoon Chicks I Wanna Nail. I read everything on this site and all I can say is m-kay. Whatever floats your boat, I guess.

Quoteland.com will fulfill your every quotation need whether you’re looking for the words of Mae West to Woody Allen’s whines to stuff from Willie Shakespeare. Knock thyself out, knave.

We’re Hosed This guy’s actually kinda funny but his recipes are the best thing on the site, IMHO*

Badassmofo.com has all your latest news about bad ass mo fo’s, I guess…funny stuff anyway. Something to read while freezing to death over here.

Then there’s killyourtv.com, which lately features nuttin’ but people pissing and moaning about the election (get over it, people) Still something else to read, if you’ve nothing better to do.

Of course, anyone who’s a fan of South Park has been to Mr. Hat’s Hellhole. but just in case you haven’t yet, here it is. Screw you guys, I’m going to bed!

Nitey nite.

Yes, I know it’s been forever since I’ve updated.  Don’t even get me started.  Let’s just say that I’ve been busy doing lots of nothing.

I was sitting here on Sunday night at 9:20 pm feeling terribly lucky not to have to go to work tomorrow.  I am on a week’s vacation.  I have no real definite plans, except that I plan to go into next week with some real goals. 

I need a better job.  I need more money.  I need to get out of debt.  I need to have some fun.  I need to learn more.  I need to love more.  I need I need I need.

God, I’m so needy.

Later that day…
Vacation sure seems to leave me beat. I’ve been off work since Monday, and I’ve being busy!  Ya take time off to relax and look what happens…every time, too. well, I may have a new job up my sleeve.  We’ll see what happens. The rest of this week, I have lots of errands to run.  I need to renew my state i.d. and go donate plasma, take some more pc tests for my temp agency’s records and a whole bunch of other stuff.

My sis and I went to the grocery store today and if that’s not a huge chore, I don’t know what is. I am willing to PAY anyone to do this for me. I hate it with a bloody passion.

I am putting all my archives into blogger format now that I’ve switched to blogger.com service, so be patient with me. From first glance, this blogger.com seems to be helping me alot with my posts. I am the most untidy person when it comes to this crap, so let’s see how this goes.

I have a crapload of things to do and cross off my list so I have to run, but I’ll be back.

Same day, different year..

Other posts on this day:

• Triple Threat: weekend entry – 1999

Today (which is April Fool’s day in case you live under a rock), and it was my birthday.  Gawd am I old.  Yup.  Turned the big 3-3 this year.

I would have preferred to stay in bed all day but dear ol’ mom sprung for lunch and a visit.  C’mon… who can turn down a free lunch?

So we go to this Mexican place in Cottage Grove called Las Margaritas.  Never been there before, so I figured we were in for a treat.  It was okay.  The music was too loud for it only being like 15 people in there and it just being lunch time.  We had to yell our orders and practically “Yoo-hoo, how’s the SALSA??!!” across the table to each other.  I was going to get the carnitas but I hadn’t tried that before and being a well-fed and food-loving person I hate to take a gamble on something and have it turn out shitty.  So I ordered a frozen strawberry margarita and the enchilada trio.

The food was pretty good actually.  Mom was loving whatever it was she got (some kind of grilled chicken fajita thing called Pollo Abodado or something like that) and she got the strawberry margarita too.

Anyway, we enjoyed our drinks even though they were just mixer plus liquor–(I’m spoiled, I’ve had FRESH strawberry margaritas at other Mexican places), and of course the complimentary chips and salsa (I could just eat baskets of that and skip all the semi-ok & expensive entrees).

So we’re sitting there and the whole lot of staff (bunch of Mexican guys) comes up from behind me and all screeching a song in Spanish.

I recognize the tune.  Oh shit, they’re singing “Happy Birthday” to me!  OK well I suppOSE I could put on my fun face and play nice for a minute but ususally I hate this sort of thing.

Anyway, on they screech…

Feliz cumpleaos, (Happy birthday to you) Feliz cumpleaos, (Happy birthday to you) Feliz cumpleaos querido tan y por eso, (Happy birthday, dear so and soooo!)

Feliz cumpleaos! (Happy birthdaaaaaaay to you!)

Then one of the guys comes and puts down a plate with a sopapilla on it covered with honey and chocolate syrup and topped with a shitload of whipped cream. Then there is a candle in the middle.

I blow it out and they remove it.  Then from out of NOFUCKINGWHERE comes a dollop of whipped cream headed straight for my face.  I swear it was as big as my head.  OK maybe not but when it got close they were aiming to just ‘dot’ my nose but ended up smearing it on my mouth, nose and chin and I started to make a fuss and all I could think was, “WHAT PLANET ARE YOU ON??!!WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING YOU ASSHOLES, YOU DON’T SMEAR SHIT
ON PEOPLE’S FACES YOU DUMB FUCKS!!” and while I was thinking this, I scrunched up my nose and turned my face just a little and the whole abombidable snowman of a whipped cream dollop came tumbling down my chin and plopped all over my (black, velvet, son of a bitch!) top I was wearing, then plopped onto my plate of (yet unfinished) enchiladas.

The whole time I was saying loudly, no, stop it…! Cut it out dont put that on my face! I think people were staring.  I didn’t care.  I think my face is smaller than most people’s and I think the guy wasn’t really looking where he was aiming that monstrous dollop and it seemed from the get go I was going to have more than a smidgen of it on my face.  The whole scenario above took place over a period of 10 seconds but it seemed like an eternity.

Great.  Just great. 

Right after it was all over I looked at my mom and I think she could see how upset I was (like I say I was close to tears because I was like humiliated).  But instead of saying somthing like, “I’m sorry you didn’t like that, I wish I would have known so I could warn you or ask them not to do that.” but NO she’s all mad that I’m mad.  I’m thinking what the HELL is wrong with someone because they don’t want sugar and shit on their face??

Well OK I thought about it a second and maybe I was making too big a deal out of this whole thing.

Then I felt stupid for making a fuss and I *knew* if I hadn’t freaked out so much, the worst outcome would have been that I’d have a dot of whipped cream on my nose and not the ensuing mess because I didn’t just sit there and play along.

I asked for a wet washcloth.  “WET WASHCLOTH.”  “CLOTH.”  Dude hands me a cheap flimsy (and dry) napkin.  “NO, not a NAPKIN.  I’m STICKY.  I NEED A WET  Wash.  CLOTH.”  Eh? Que?  “Wash cloth. Dish towel.  You know.  Handi-wipe.  Towlette.  Dish towel. Whatever ya got that’s wet and cloth-y!” Ah fuck they don’t even understand my English!

Finally a guy walks from around the bar with a wet bar towel and I’m relieved.  I suppose I could have gone into the bathroom but *shudder* I loathe public bathrooms.

Does all of this make me a bitch???

Maybe I just live in a world where people don’t do shit like this to you. 

What do you think???

Same day, different year..

Other posts on this day:

• Tomorrow will be 1-2-3-4-5-6 – 2006

I’ve suddenly lost my appetite for blogging.

Who knows if I’ll ever get it back.

This entry was posted on Friday, July 29th, 2005 at 12:38 pm and is filed under Grumplicious, World Wide Wack. You can follow responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Responses are currently closed, but you can trackback from your site.

Comments are closed.

Ladies and gentlemen. May I present…

The “I’m f*cking freezing” tee. As worn by J-Lo, apparently, according to these yahoos.

Indeed.

Then put on a f*cking
sweatshirt. You f*cking moron.

Perhaps I’m missing the joke or some sort of clever youthful irony here, but may I ask–why a TEE? It would make perfect sense to place such a classy saying on a snow suit or perhaps even a lap robe, illustrating to the public that you are cold and that is why you are dressed like an eskimo.

But that’s probably just me…as the rest of humanity has gone mad. I’m a frumpy old 30-something so what do I know?

Happiness is ___________. (fill in the blank here)

Sometimes I wonder about people… Just something I’ve been thinking about for awhile, that’s all. Do you find yourself wondering the same thing? I mean, we’re all here for one thing and that is to live and prosper and be happy, right?  But I have DAYS, you know, where I feel like “What is there for me to be happy about?” I mean, I find that alot of people in this world seem happy but after all is said and done, and they go home each night, these people are the ones who call their relatives or go to www.soandso.com and go into the bulletin boards and newsgroups and bitch and moan and bawl about their personal problems.

First sunshine, then rain.

Who are they kidding? I for one, would like to know. How is this possible? Or even healthy? I don’t take this approach or condone it. I mean, let’s say that I’m in this mood where I’m not exactly counting my blessings and feeling like ‘it’s all good’, right? But on the other hand, I’m not excactly bitter for any specific reason. In this case, you would NOT see me smiling all day to beat the band when I’m not happy, but I also don’t bite everyone’s heads off if I ain’t. So how do you find a balance? I just try to remain calm and nonchalant whenever possible.

I don’t know. Maybe I’m not making any sense here.

Maybe I should get back to work. Yeah.  That’s the ticket.

The night I went to dinner with my friend Cheryl after work, I get off around five and she had some stuff to finish up and was staying at her job until six so that left me with an hour to kill downtown.

I figured I’d run quick to the library since I already had two books checked out.  I’d just finished one, and hadn’t started the other one yet, but it was a hard find.  Since the one was due soon, I thought I’d go renew it, and turn the finished one in, and perhaps update my journal on the web in their computer lab.  Since I haven’t been to this branch in about three years, I was unaware of their new hours.

Turned out the were about to close and I all but got roughed up when I waltzed in the door to case the joint and see if I could find the way to the computer lab. The LIBRARY! of all places!

The security guard was right inside the door and informed me that they were closing in five minutes.

me: “Five minutes? Gee…I haven’t been here in awhile. Darn. I wanted to hang out a little. You guys used to be open until six. I had no idea.
Mister Security Guard: “Yes, we close at five-thirty now.”

me: “Oh, okay, well can I at least go in and renew these books?”

Mister Security Guard: “Sure. Hey, you could have done that over the phone, you know.”

me: “Yeah, I know, I’ve done it before but like I said I didn’t know about the hours being different and I planned on staying for a while.”

Mister Security Guard: “Yeah, you can do that nowadays. Just call the main number and ask.”

me: “I know. Like I said, I came to hang out awhile.”

The woman at the book return counter, just a few feet away looks over, and I’m sure she’s heard our conversation.  She looks just like Marian the Librarian from Music Man, only with an attitude and somewhat more of a 90’s hairdo and attire. I have to supress a giggle. I ask her from where the guard and I are standing if she can renew the books for me.

Marian Librarian: “Alright, just step right over here and I can help you.”

me: “Here’s my card, I know they’re not due until the 22nd but I figured since I was coming by already…”

Marian: “Yes, well do you use the renewal over the phone option? You could have just done that, you know.”

me: “Yes, but I was just over there telling you guys that I was unaware of the closing time tonight.”

Marian: “Oh. You were? Well. Fine. (all snotty like)”

Good Lord. I wanted badly to pound her face in, but I kept myself in check.

She knew, AND she heard me. She just wanted to take her shitty day out on ME. Well I ain’t havin’ it.

Bitch.

Same day, different year..

Other posts on this day:

www.RetroVsMetro.org
The Great Divide: Retro vs. Metro America, is a new book by John Sperling, who aims “to explain why America is so bitterly divided. It describes how Retro and Metro America are really two countries whose people have different economic and political interests.” The author of the book also attempts to show us Americans how we should stop “sending jobs overseas and why political power is in the hands of Republicans.” My review of this site is in sent a letter to them as follows:

Dear Retro vs. Metro:

Congratulations on the new web site. First of all I want to say that it is well designed, looks great and is easy to navigate.

I feel, however, the content of it was refreshing for about one second. The minute you started spewing about how ‘metro’ America is decidedly more non-judgemental, ‘tolerant’ of ‘exciting’ cultural blends in cities and ‘accepting’ of women and minority and gay/transgender issues than their ‘retro’ American counterparts and trying to paint us into a picture of filthy rich selfish Bible-thumping facists, I had to close that page to find this contact form. I’m so tired of conservatives and Republicans being labeled as non-accepting and non-caring when it comes to other Americans. You tend to forget that your fellow ‘metro’ Amercians are the ones who bend over backwords in order to divide, be non-accepting, segregating and most of all labeling. You continue to do so by contradicting yourselves just like you did in “Retro vs. Metro”. Just cut it out. Start realizing that we conservatives are JUST AS accepting and encouraging the rest of America to thrive. Its just we draw the line at self-sustenance and showing others how to help themselves, rather than enabling folk to become dependent on government to the point where Americans feel entitled. If that is what ‘metro’ America’s agenda is all about, then we’re all headed straight into the ground, and fast.

PS – Tolerance is defined by Merriam-Webster Online as “the capacity to bear something unpleasant, painful, or difficult”. In other words, ‘putting up’ with certain things. Do you think ‘metro’ Amercians like to be called tolerant? I’d say if anything they are benevolent. Perhaps you got the two mixed up. It’s okay. You’re all ‘intellectuals’ compared to us one-toothed, moonshine swillin’ an’ Godfearin’ backwoods babes, it’s not like a huge smear on your intelligence.

PPS – I live in the Minneapolis metro area. Does that mean I should be a ‘metro’? Golly I hope not.

2.5 out of 5

[more web site reviews by beej]

It’s a great concept. Can’t sleep? Put this shit on. Guaranteed to have you sawing logs in a matter of 1.5 videos.

Case in point:

‘Let me Go’ by Three Doors Down

Great band, great song. Shitty video.

“Let me Go” Indeed. Let Me Go Find Who Directed this Fucked Up Video!

Three Doors Down proves once again that a teeny bopper soap opera plot makes for good videos.

Act I, scene I, cut to high school hallway, where boy has just met girl. Girl and boy fall in love and show everyone in hallway, and this it’s not the puppy kind. It’s of the ‘I’m gonna take you home and make a dirty movie with you’ variety (?!).

Scene II, cut to happy after-school snack shack, where the two take Polaroids of each other. Aw…

Couple scenes later, we see a seedy strip club, and guess who’s on stage? Our girlie girl, of course.

How boy manages to get into strip club and see his darling girlie shake her money maker, I will never remember, as I’m trying my hardest to stay awake through this musical Shakespeare mini-tragedy!

Scene III, Cut back to high school hallyway, where people are whisperin’ about girl as she walks by, and boy ain’t gettiin’ anywhere near girl at school, at the snack shack, or even talkin’ to her face.

Girl is all, ‘Aw, fuck, what a jackass’ and then bell rings and school is out.

Scene IV, Boy is at after school snack shack and is all, awww, I miss that whore, where’s my girlie girl?

Scene V, So he goes driving along in happy neighborhood and sees girlie girl holding baby in window of her house. The video’s camera zooms into window and speedily (and scarily) zooms further, into baby’s crib (isn’t tv amazing?). Baby gets picked up and teeny bopper momma, and baby and momma are all like ‘aww’ together (is this a fuckin’ Downy commercial?).

Scene VI, Cut back to stupid boy in car. He’s all like ‘Aw, I didn’t know she was a baby momma!?! Now I feel like a jerky werky.”

Well I haven’t figured out if this is one of those shocker endings where we all gasp because the boy is the daddy of the baby, or if this is one of those moral lessons. What the fuck could the moral be? OH! I know:

“It’s alright to be a ho-ass stripper when you ‘jess 16. Spess-shly if you is a baby momma!”

At least Three Doors Down thinks so. Does America think so? Gawd I hope not.

2 stars

“Along The Boulevard” by Green Day

Angst Revisited Recycles Rockers over Ten Year Span.

I thought Green Day was dead*, until recently. I think they came back out just to make sure they still are the good at that emo thing, whatever the hell it may be. I don’t get it, but I guess it is sort of like Liz Phair coming back out to see if she’s still as good at whining as the new generation of girly angst rockers are (i.e. . I kinda figured all this out while watching “Along The Boulevard” with Billy WhatsHisNuts from Green Day.

Video is alright. Green Day still look and sound like they did when I was 25, ‘cept maybe a bit frightening and older looking. ‘Course they probably still smoke from the same bong that they were smoking out of when I was 25. I’ve since: welcomed a nephew into my family, fell in love, got a gym membership, got it cancelled, got a computer, survived my sister’s wedding, moved out of my apartment, changed banks, almost got a car once, got engaged, moved again, got another job, moved again, started business on the side, lost job, got another job, broke off engagement, lost my dad, lost job, got another job, kicked boyfriend out of apartment, lost uncle, got another job, lost job, made up with boyfriend, got another job, had nephew’s 9th birthday, lost job, got another job…

Whew!

That’s ten years, and Green Day don’t look they done much since 1995. I mean, of course THEY HAVE, but it is just like going back in time. Only they manage to do this song with a bit of a present-day edge on it.

Here we are, 2005, and ever since Green Day started singing its whiny ‘why me I’m such a loser’ songs, so have (about 10,000 other bands), all managing to sound and look just like them, complete with the same formula:

– The would-be dreamy lead singer, I say “would-be” if not for the dark under eye circles, bed head and general lack of self esteem.

-The token manic rhythm guitarist, arm jackhammering at 70 mph as if guitar is going to get away from him.

-The same melody sets, chords, and strikingly similar keys.

Anyway, my point is, even though I don’t get it–the emo thing–they’re still good at it I guess. 3 stars

* not rotting in the ground dead, just not making music anymore–jeez, don’t have a cow!

Monday, May 15th, 2006

From my “Alliance of Free Blogs” roll….

John over at Alpaca Burger Forum is anticipating President Bush’s next move in regards to immigration reform (or a lack thereof).

M over at The Cigar Intelligence Agency has posted a gorgeous photo today!

The Patriot over at The Conservative Commando wants us to know how much the Foreign Intelligence Surveillance Act is […]