Category: Calm through the storm

“Get used to your circumstances, complain about them as little as possible, and grasp whatever advantage they have to offer: no condition is so bitter that a stable mind cannot find some consolation in it.” – Seneca, On the Shortness of Life

A lesson on the baggage of neuroticism

While reading about neuroticism recently, I went back to recall the basic tenets of stoicism (https://goo.gl/3n8uPz), because I strongly believe—even if we are born into a lineage which is known for high neuroticism—we can still help ourselves learn ways to react to things and handle our emotions. So I came up with an idea on how to try to practice controlling neuroses.

Imagine the following: your stress, your anxiety, bad feelings about things—each as contained in suitcases. Each case’s weight is heavier or lighter, depending on the size of the burden/importance in your mind. Now, imagine that every day, before you begin school, work, being a housewife, etc., you have to strap in and carry them all together with you throughout the entire day. Without even trying this out as a real experiment, you can clearly visualize that hefting this personal baggage with you all through life (let alone, just for one day) would amount to a lot of hard work and pretty much bullshit, since you have enough to do as it is, in the present moment – the present task/day.

We all know life’s no soft affair. In the path of life, we face all sorts of falls, troubles, hardships. Even day-to-day normal stressors can trigger emotions we’d rather not have rise to the surface in order to be content/productive in our endeavors. While we don’t control guilt, jealousy, anxiety/worry, frustration, and fear, we are however given the strength to not allow them to affect our decision-making. Being in the moment and dealing calmly with whatever life has to throw at us is hard to learn. We are human beings after all, and allowed to have emotions. But continuing to let them prevail over us and cloud our judgment is not doing us any favors when it keeps us stuck in the past (guilt) or worrying too much about the future (anxiety).

Wouldn’t we rather see each day through without all this extra weight, figuring out that which we KNOW we can fix, control, and which we cannot, to ease the burden and move forward? Of course we would.

Now, imagine each of those suitcases again, and the feeling or emotion each one carries. Visualize the contents in each, one at a time. Say there’s anxiety in one, and guilt in another. Recall the aforementioned idea, that guilt and anxiety result from living in the past or future. What we want is to live in the NOW. What problem in the anxiety suitcase you had issue with? Was it something you can do anything about now? If you can’t, you must let it go (if you can, make notes/actions to resolve it). It the cause of you feeling anxious is something you’re not responsible for/have no control over (or realize you can, and make arrangements to fix) you can then mentally remove the contents of the case and put it away. It’s no longer part of you.

Now repeat this with the other imaginary suitcases. Let’s say the next one is full of guilt. What is the guilt related to? We have all probably made one mistake we have dwelled upon for longer than necessary. Guilt is a way of our emotions teaching us a lesson of wrongdoing. If we have admitted and learned our mistake, served our punishment, and been absolved of our wrongdoing, it’s all in the past and time to let guilty feelings go, too. If you haven’t yet, you must—if your guilt is from something you did not very recently…say, as a child, or many years ago, then there’s probably no one left to face but yourself for it. Forgive yourself, and move on. The hard part isn’t to do with facing up to your penance and seeking forgiveness, but living with the baggage of guilt forever (and its best friend, shame, which will eventually come along for the ride). Letting guilt take up space in your brain means you haven’t learned your lesson. Learn the lesson/take your punishment, and seek forgiveness, so you can put this case away, too.

Stoicism is a tool not to control your emotions, but to understand them, and determine if they truly have the power to harm you. How much longer do you want to carry the the negative ones around? Suffering is your decision, and no one else’s.

But removing negative feelings from your personal baggage helps us to realize they were never invited to go with us on the trip of life in the first place.

“That the path to personal happiness and inner peace is through the extinguishing of all desire to have or to affect things beyond one’s control and through living for the present without hope for or fear of the future; beyond the power of opinion.”
– Zeno of Citium, 300 – 260 B.C.

If we are anxious, we are living in the future, if we are depressed, we are living in the past, if we are content, we are living in the present.

As long as we can be confident that our actions are right for the moment, regardless of whether something went well, our conscience can be clear. Once we understand that the only time we have control of is in the moment, then we can avoid anxiety by focusing purely on what needs to be done now.

Only propagandists want you to believe your eyes, ears, and emotions, over facts.

“Facts are stubborn things; and whatever may be our wishes, our inclinations, or the dictates of our passion, they cannot alter the state of facts and evidence.” – John Adams

The Major Tenets of Stoicism

Stoicism teaches…

1. One to live in accord with Nature; worldly Nature and human nature.
2. The Unity of All; all gods; all substance; all virtue; all mankind into a Cosmopolis (Universal City).
3. That the external world is maintained by the natural interchange of opposites (poioun / yin, paskhon / yang)
4. That everyone has a personal, individual connection to the All; a god within.
5. That every soul has Free Will to act and that the action of the soul is opinion.
6. Simple Living through moderation and frugality.
7. That spiritual growth comes from seeking the good.
8. That Virtue is the sole good, Vice the sole evil, and everything else indifferent.
9. That the Cardinal Virtues are Prudence, Justice, Fortitude, and Temperance.
10. That the path to personal happiness and inner peace is through the extinguishing of all desire to have or to affect things beyond ones control and through living for the present without hope for or fear of the future; beyond the power of opinion.
11. The sequential re-absorption and recreation of the Universe by the Central Fire; the Conflagration.

h/t angelique

Changing These 4 Beliefs Will Make You Surprisingly Happy

On grievances and victimhood…

Grievance and outrage are not career choices. It’s okay to get angry at someone or about something when something goes wrong—anger is a human reaction. But then we have to move on and create our own reality, and stop assigning blame. And simply being offended is not an argument. Your feelings aren’t the same as real data and facts.

Victimhood is no way to succeed at anything in life. You can’t simply define yourself as a victim and expect to get away with anything you want. The same rules everyone else has to follow still apply to you, no matter how much of a victim you consider yourself to be. It is a losing battle. It’s time for you to take charge of yourself.

Enjoying a happy, healthy new year starts with our minds

https://www.youtube.com/attribution_link?a=iWXbgrPj8pQ&u=/watch?v%3DiLU2W-gasUQ%26feature%3Dshare

The Stoic Reading List
(“Best of” and where to start – suggested titles)
Courtesy of The Daily Stoic (http://dailystoic.com)

T H E B E S T O F & W H E R E T O S T A R T
The starting point of any new pursuit is critical. Stoicism is no difference. Picking up the wrong book can derail even the most interested student. So where should someone start with Stoicism? Which philosopher? Which translator? Which edition? Are there good books about Stoicism? Good articles? Is the free stuff
on the internet any good? We’ve got you covered

Meditations by Marcus Aurelius

Meditations is perhaps the only document of its kind ever made. It is the private thoughts of the world’s most powerful man giving advice to himself on how to make good on the responsibilities and obligations of his positions. Trained in stoic philosophy, Marcus stopped almost every night to practice a series of spiritual exercises—reminders designed to make him humble, patient, empathetic, generous, and strong in the face of whatever he was dealing with.

Well, now we have this book. It is imminently readable and perfectly accessible. You cannot read this book and not come away with a phrase or a line that will be helpful to you next time you are in trouble. Read it, it is practical philosophy embodied. The Gregory Hays translation from Modern Library is the most accessible edition—completely devoid of any “thou’s” and “shalls”.

Letters from a Stoic by Seneca

Seneca, like Marcus, was also a powerful man in Rome. He was also a great writer and from the looks of it, a trusted friend who gave great advice to his friends. Much of that advice survives in the form of letters. Now we can read those letters and they can guide us through problems with grief, wealth, poverty, success, failure, education and so many other things. Seneca was a stoic as well, but like Marcus, he was practical and borrowed liberally from other schools. As he quipped to a friend, “I don’t care about the author if the line is good. That is the ethos of practical philosophy—it doesn’t matter from whom or when it came from, what matters if it helps you in your life, if only for a second. Reading Seneca will do that. The Penguin translation is fantastic, both for this collection
of letters (which are more like essays than true correspondence) and the next recommendation.

On the Shortness of Life by Seneca

This collection of three short letters—essays, really—might actually be the best introduction to Seneca. The main one, On the Shortness of Life, is a stringent reminder about the non-renewability of our most important resource: our time. One of his most famous quotes comes from this writing and is worth reflecting upon: “It is not that we are given a short life but we make it short, and we are not ill-supplied but wasteful of it.” Just like his letters, make sure to pick the Penguin edition. This one, part of Penguin’s Great Ideas series, is small and perfectly fits in your back pocket.

Discourses and Selected Writings by Epictetus

Of the big three (Seneca, Marcus Aurelius, Epictetus), Epictetus is the most preachy and for many, the least fun to read. That doesn’t mean he isn’t brilliant. On many occasions he expresses something so clearly and profoundly that it will shake you to your core. Personally, I prefer the Penguin translations, but I’ve tried a handful of others and found the differences to be relatively negligible.

Fragments by Heraclitus

This is as ephemeral as the Stoics get. While most of the other recommendations are bent towards hard, practical advice, Heraclitus might
seem a bit poetic. But those beautiful lines are really the same direct advice and timeless, perspective-changing observations as the others.
“Try in vain with empty talk / to separate the essences of things / and say how each thing truly is. Applicants for wisdom / do what I have done: / inquire within.
Character is fate. What eyes witness / ears believe on hearsay. The crops are sold / for money spent on food. Heraclitus is considered as a key influence in Stoic thought and this is evident in the numerous references to Heraclitus that are seen in Meditations. As one scholar put it in explaining Heraclitus’s influence on stoicism, Marcus considered Heraclitus “as one of the great sages.”

Courage Under Fire: Testing Epictetus’s Doctrines in a Laboratory of Human Behavior by James Stockdale

United States Navy fighter pilot James Stockdale was captured by the North Vietnamese in 1965 where he remained a POW for the next seven years; two
of which were spent wearing leg irons in solitary confinement. Years later, Stockdale would write and lecture extensively on Epictetus’s Enchiridion which he credits for providing the mindset and strength necessary to endure years of torture. Stockdale’s exemplary behavior during imprisonment is an
embodiment how Stoicism can provide us with a framework for dealing with extreme adversity and the obstacles that come in our way.

The Inner Citadel and Philosophy as a Way of Life by Pierre Hadot

Both of these are academic, yet fascinating books. The Inner Citadel is a biography of Marcus Aurelius, which should be next on your list if you
loved Meditations. Philosophy as a Way of Life explores different ‘spiritual exercises’—ideas and thought exercises from philosophy to help you make better decisions and live a better life. Don’t let the academic aspect scare you—Hadot’s books are incredibly readable and the ideas will stay with you.

Rome’s Last Citizen: The Life and Legacy of Cato, Mortal Enemy of Caesar by Rob Goodman and Jimmy Son

Marcus Cato has certainly earned his place in the history books—he was the Stoic senator who led the opposition against Julius Caesar who then killed
himself rather than live under a dictator. Cato was a soldier, a politician, a thinker and most important, an example. His unassailable place in Roman culture is best seen in the old proverbial expression used to make excuses: “We’re not all Catos. There’s a lot to learn from a politician who couldn’t be corrupted. A philosopher who refused to write. A millionaire who lived among his soldiers and people. He is Marcus Porcius Cato, a man of a different epoch—some two thousand years passed—but a man, who we, without a question, are better off knowing.

Marcus Aurelius by Matthew Arnold (essay)

Matthew Arnold was a Victorian scholar who fell in the category of ‘sage writers’—the type of writer who instructs and chastises the reader. This is a fantastic essay on Marcus, who as he remarked in 1863, was a man who held the highest power and most powerful station in the world—and the universal verdict of the people around him was that he proved worthy of it. For other short essays, articles and online resources, we recommend the following:

• Stoicism 101: A Practical Guide for Entrepreneurs
• Stoicism for Modern Stresses: 5 Lessons from Cato
• On The Shortness of Life: An Introduction to Seneca
• The Practicality of Pessimism: Stoicism as a Productivity
  System
• There is also Stoicism and the Art of Happiness which is a fantastic blog, the Stoicism community on Reddit, author Jules Evans’ Philosophy for Life blog, and of course there is also New Stoa (an online Stoic registry).