MSN’s Guide to the Academy Awards Does anybody REALLY even care this year? I don’t.
OMIGOD, I don’t know, like, what to say!
I am so blonde and silly and 19 and gosh, when I get on the phone with my boyfriend (he’s ever so dreamyyy) I just want him to talk about how cute I am all night and never know what else to say! Heaven forbid I should actually do some brain work, and stimulate some stuff upstairs! Lord knows I don’t know how to be passionate about something ’cause there’s nothing that I care about THAT much. And I haven’t had many experiences ’cause I’m on a short leash, what with living with mom and dad, and my 11-hour-a-week job at the mall. Oh hey! A site where people can post their dating dilemmas!
Celebrities cutting back!
Thank you Dave Letterman! In efforts to help ease things in light of the recent stock market crash, which caused alot of layoffs in dot com companies, the following is a list of how celebrities are cutting back:
Chuck Knoblauch – Going to ask crowds at games to return all wild balls
Oprah Winfrey – Ordering cuts in pay for everyone not named Oprah
Darva Conger – Oops, no longer a celebrity, why’s she on this list anyway?…omit her!
Regis Philbin – Who wants to be comfortable?
Robert Downey Jr. – Buying GENERIC illegal drugs
Hugh Rodham (Sen. Hilary’s brother) – Now slicing prices on presidential pardons. $200k for a presidential pardon? That is quite a cut. Have you seen this guy? I’d pardon him if he could do a situp!
Martha Stewart – switching from Heinekken to Old Milwaukee’s Best
Jerry Seinfeld – Appearing on lame late nite talkshow in NY instead of appearing on lame late nite talkshow in LA
Puff Daddy – Now only shooting up clubs w/no cover charge
Bill Clinton – strippers at dance clubs now getting IOU’s in their garter belts from him instead
Same day, different year..
Other posts on this day: