Monday started just like any other, up early in the morning, off to work, busted ass all day and yada yada. Only this time I found myself in a state of clarity about my life. I know for a fact I do not want it to remain the way it is, which is sucky. With a capital ‘S’. Anyway here are some vibes I got to prove my point:
I have a pretty good idea that my manager doesn’t like me
I was on a roll, very productive at work. I usually hit a sleepy spot around mid-day and I didn’t have one. So that was awesome. When it got to be 2:15, the afternoon girl came in to relieve me, even though I don’t leave until 2:30. Anyway, we’ll call her Sheila. Sheila hardly said a word to me and started working by going down the hall to take care of the mail (Whose ass are you trying to kiss, Sheila?? You don’t even start til 2:30!). Then a few minutes later, as I was tidying up my workstation, I call the manager to ask her something and she’s all “Hello, Sheila!” (obviously thinking it was Sheila calling and not me). I tell Ms. Manager flatly that this is Bobbi and I work until 2:30. To which she seems a bit sheepish and say, “Oh. Well, it says ‘Sheila’ on the display.” Hmm. Yes. It does. But it’s not 2:30 yet. Get a hold of yourself!
I feel stuck at mom’s
Had to run some errands after that, so I got home from work around five, and I’m hungry. I am usually not so hungry that early in the evening but I have been replacing breakfast and lunch with protein shakes and having little snacks in between like an apple, popcorn, etc. Anyway so I could just about eat a bear and I find out mom is making dinner and is not ready. She’s insisting we have meat loaf and baked potatoes with steamed broccoli. Since she doesn’t eat hamburger, and I don’t like anything she makes with ground turkey, I went right ahead and spoiled it. I had to…I was ravenous!. I ate 3 little candy bars (ahhh, nuttin’ like them halloween leftovers). Then I ate about a cup and a half of those little rice crackers. I sat in my room leafing through the job section of the paper in between bites and flipping through the channels on tv for about an hour or so and JUST WHEN ‘FRIENDS’ COMES ON…the bitch is calling everyone for dinner. I know, I know, it’s only a rerun but come on, it’s wackier than the snory senate debates–which I must’ve dozed off 4 times trying to watch. I come out to the dining room and mom’s got this ridiculous, puky CD on. To me, she turns and beams, “It’s ‘The Instrumental Beatles’, don’t you just love it?” (who the Christ wants to hear that, I ask you?) Then Sandy and Tony and Brandon and I all huddle around the dinky table trying to pass ourselves off as ‘a normal family having dinner together’ and it’s more like a circus because the phone rings as soon as mom sits down. Then the 7-year old is negotiating with his mom how much broccoli he won’t eat and still get dessert, and mom is 5 feet away on the phone, and starts to walk around the corner but the cord’s too short. She’s plugging her ears and looks at us like she swallowed something foul. Then Sandy starts yelling “Why can’t you go into the other room, you have a PORTABLE PHONE!”. Tony is rolling his eyes and I am moving food around my plate so as not to make it obvious I can’t eat since I’d previously muched away on all those snacks. All this, while a violin symphony plunges into a silly, hearty rendition of ‘Can’t Buy Me Love’ on mom’s crappy CD. I think I had an out of body moment, right then and there, and was thinking to myself “How much longer can you endure this? Wasn’t moving in with the family supposed to be temporary? Am I going completely insane here?”.
Same day, different year..
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