The TV Snob wants to know: What’s Desperate Housewives’s secret to being such a success? Ugh. It’s such a silly show now! Kind of like Melrose Place was, only now it would be Melrose Place Ten Years Later because they all got married and bought houses in the burbs, with white picket fences.
Eva Longoria – Whores who sleep with thegardener never looked this good.
Or this whorish.
I was sort of surprised to see this show got so much attention at the Golden Globes. Then again, once I thought about it, I figured out why it shouldn’t surprise us:
I personally think the show is just a bunch of skinny, goofy, harebrained, spade-faced, psychotic horndogs anyway, all of whom practically had no career (or were on the brink of such) just before some fiendishly clever producer at ABC came up with this (hey, he probably JUST got hired in the last year).
Teri Hatcher – Or is it Hatchet Face?
OK that was pretty mean, eh? But how else can you explain it? Oh, wait. Network TV is pretty bad overall, but isn’t the show on right opposite CSI or Law & Order or some other very popular show?
I’ll admit…when the show first aired, I was right in line with everyone else to watch the first couple episodes, but now it’s just psycho naked adventures with some soap-opera-ish story lines put in here and there.
Nicollete Sheridan – Sad divorcee who
got really old looking, really quick.
This still doesn’t explain how one small TV show on the ALL BORING CHANNEL (ABC) could bring on such ratings and *gasp* even award nominations. So what’s the answer? Sex. To quote my feminazi sisters, because it’s still pretty much a MAN’s WORLD when it comes to entertainment. This is not the WE Network or Lifetime Television. This is free TV. And who watches plenny o’ free TV?
Men.
Listen…we ALL know that MEN are the ones that fondle the remote more than we do. It’s because they’re such channel surfing freaks that if you let the remote sit still for one minute they get antsy and wanna know what else is on. Let him have the damn thing, and go in the other room! We’d rather relinquish the remote control to them than have to endure one more minute of their flipping and clicking. Flipping and clicking. They go through channels at such an amazing breakneck speed that you come out of the other room to see what’s going on because the entire east wing of your home is flickering like a fucking disco.
She gives Black & Decker can
openers a run for their money!
Thusly, men are the way more likely to watch such crap. It’s amazing to see them stop because, wait! There’s Eva Longoria in a sex scene and there’s her tits, only you can’t see all of them but nearly the whole boob (*gasp* just like Janet Jackson last winter!) and men come to screeching halts and the mere notion of sex in any form, but especially in such a visual and electric presentation, with no possibility of humans interfacing.
I rest my case.