BJ Woods

from the Saturday Silly Schtuff Dept.

Madfish Willie’s posted a new episode guide, Television Specials for 00’s. Notice the titles with a bit more of a ‘gangsta’ twist, now that Generation Z (or is it Y?) has become so coarsened and rooted in a new and strange urbanized hip hop culture. Thanks a lot, Eminem!

I myself would love to see “Imo Busta Cap Inyo Ass, Charlie Brown”.

Enjoy!

Islam Superstar!

Do you think it’s possible that, with all of the heightened awareness of Islamic religion and whatnot in our country, that something really big is going to happen, good or bad?

I do. But I think it should be good. Like, I what if the Quran’s story played out a la Broadway style or even in the cinemas….what will they call it? The Passion of The Prophet? Allah Spell?

Anyway…in my email’s inbox this morning, was this:

Click here for a Free Qur’an! Oh yippee. Sign me up right away please! Not. This promo to increase awareness of the Quran was sponsored by The Council on American-Islamic Relations (CAIR). Don’t get me started on these bozos, who front themselves as doing more good than harm…trust me…it’s the other way around. They allot many more civil rights to those who come to this country than those who were born here (and want all our states to, as well).

Some quick examples: Did you know that in many cases an American person of Islamic faith can do any of the following in the office, at school, etc.:? Pray duing the day as much as they want during work (we all know that this means usng a mat, leaving the desk/chair and either closing a door or turning off the phone, etc…basically taking time out from the workday), wear attire that represents their religious beliefs, even the kind that hides their faces, especially in cases of driver’s license photos, pass out relgious literature/materials, organize prayer groups, the list goes on.

Not that there is much wrong with that…I guess. I mean it’s great and all, for American Muslims, but…I have a hard time swallowing the principle of it all, and here’s why: It’s a rare occurence nowadays, for any of this type of stuff to be allowed if the person above was a Mormon, a Born-Again Christian, a Southern Baptist, a Lutheran, a Jehovah’s Witness or even a Charlie Manson Worshipper, for that matter! Not in our secular society! No way, José!

I also have a good hunch that this type of information is passed freely on, to those who are not Americans (some of whom will never want to be), by social do-gooders. Those are the hands that these rights should not fall in. If you do not legally belong here, thanks for visiting! Hope you have a great time. Otherwise, naturalize yourself and then you can share civil rights with the rest of us. I’m very sure that a foreigner could never enjoy such an extended and welcoming visit in many of your native countries!

That’s just my $.02.

Sorry my Saturday silliness got so serious.

On a lighter, jollier note… I’ve noticed lately that weekends for alliance members tend to mean blog carnival roundups start popping up everywhere. Soooo….seeing as I’m the kind of person who either throws parties or crashes ‘em, I’m gonna have to read up on that, give a look see and find out what I can do to help (or harm). Heh.

Same day, different year..

Other posts on this day:

• True, Funny 911 & Police Phone Call Stories – 2005

I totally stole this from Grouchy Old Cripple this afternoon. Some test to see how observant the average person is…
========================================================

Don’t look at mine if you are going to take it, because I included my answers below. Take it at GOC’s.

NO LOOKING AROUND ON YOUR DESK…

Average person only gets 7 right.

This is based on U. S. & CDN info, so use all lobes of your brain.

There are 27 questions about things we see every day or have known about all our lives. How many can you get right? These little simple questions are harder than you think– it just shows you how little we pay attention to the commonplace things of life. Put your thinking caps on.

No cheating! No looking around! No getting out of your chair! No using anything on or in your desk or computer! Can you beat 20??

(The average is 7) ****************

Write down your answers and then check your answers (on the bottom) only AFTER completing all the questions. REMEMBER – NO CHEATING!!! — BE HONEST!!!

That means no looking at your phone or anything on your desk.

LET’S JUST SEE HOW OBSERVANT YOU REALLY ARE (and HONEST)

Here we go!

1. On a standard traffic light, is the green on the top or bottom? Bottom – I’m a pedestrian–no car–I walk or take the bus. So I know this one is right. Hard to get it wrong when you stand right underneath traffic lights at crosswalks all the time.

2. How many states are there in the USA?
Um…53? I’m counting Puerto Rico, Guam, and the US Virgin Island Territories (bah hell if I got that one right).

3. In which hand is the Statue of Liberty’s torch?
Right.

4. What six colors are on the classic Campbell’s soup label?
Ahh…gold, red, black, white, blue, and silver.

5. What two numbers on the telephone dial don’t have letters by them?
0…and I can’t remember the other one.

6. When you walk does your left arm swing with your right or left leg?
Right leg.

7. How many matches are in a standard pack?
uhhhhh. 20?

8. On the United States flag is the top stripe red or white?
White.

9. What is the lowest number on the FM radio dial?
88.

10. Which way does water go down the drain, counter or clockwise? (In
North America)
Clockwise.

11. Which way does a “no smoking” sign’s slash run?
Right.

12. How many channels on a VHF TV dial?
Um. Let’s see…10?

13. On which side of a women’s blouse are the buttons?
Left.

14. Which way do fans rotate?
Clockwise.

15. What is on the back of a Canadian dime?
The number 10.

16. How many sides does a stop sign have?
It’s an octagon. So, 8.

17. Do books have even-numbered pages on the right or left side?
Left hand side.

18. How many lug nuts are on a standard car wheel?
Six.

19. How many sides are there on a standard pencil?
Six.

20. Sleepy, Happy, Sneezy, Grumpy, Dopey, Doc. Who’s missing?
Shit. I dunno.

21. How many hot dog buns are in a standard package?
Ten.

22. On which playing card is the card maker’s trademark?
The joker.

23. On which side of a Venetian blind is the cord that adjusts the opening between the slats?
Right. Though when ordering blinds, you can specify the side for the cord and the wand so this is sort of a bad question.

24. On the back of a Canadian $1 coin, what is in the centre?
Again with the Candadian coin? Look they spelled center wrong, too. Some Limey make up this test or what? Or a Cannuck? What a hoser, eh.

25. There are 12 buttons on a touch tone phone. What 2 symbols bear no digits?
Easy – The asterisk *, and the pound symbol #.

26. How many curves are there in the standard paper clip?
Four.

27. Does a merry-go-round turn counter or clockwise (as a rule)?
Counter.

OK the answers are here…let’s see how well (or not) I did.

Same day, different year..

Other posts on this day:

• True, Funny 911 & Police Phone Call Stories – 2005

Okay, so some of these a bit old (but I never read about some of the older ones until today) and some are more recent. But they’re all true funny stories about people calling the police/911 for stupid reasons.

Woman jailed after calling 911 about pizza man

A ‘Fowl’ case?

You only cut the one you love…

Leave a trail and they will beat a path to your door….Crook Calls 911 on Self

Tourist needs a ticket to ride…

Pet Bird Calls 911

Lady called cops on Burger King ’cause they gave her the wrong food!

Cops: Alleged Robber Calls Victim for Date

Wife Win’t Cook Dinner, Hubby Calls Cops

Inept burglar calls 911 for help

Stoned Teenagers Call Cops by Mistake

Other posts on this day:

Over at What Would Hollywood Do? beej is sponsering an “Open mic” as it were. Every Thursday, one lucky person will be able to post a blog entry at this blog, and be given access to do so.

If you don’t already know, WWHD is a blog that takes much issue with famous people who have decided to take on public matters and political issues bearing no relation to their industry. Most of the time that famous persons do this, it highly acceptable to bring an issue to the public attention especially when it is a notable cause that needs such attention. However there are some cases when this is seen as an abuse of their celebrity. It is widely known that many Hollywood actors and famous people of all sorts have much disregard–and even sometimes deep hatred–for and of America. These people, for reasons unknown to many, have decided they have a huge need to become pseudo-lobbyists, taking stances on issues–mostly socio-political–and spewing forth their rhetoric to the masses in the hopes they’d buy it, much to the dismay (and usually amusement) of the editor of What Would Hollywood Do.

Maybe you have a gift for gossip-rag style writing flair or maybe you just have some great commentary on recent related news that you want to get off your chest. Please express your interest in this by sending an email to bbojojo At Yahoo! Dot com with the subject line of “WWHD Open Mic”, along with a short description of what you might post about.

The topic at hand does not matter, so long as it is a story involving any famous person ‘going political’ or the famous person’s involvement in some sort of issue whether it be a social one or a political one.

Same day, different year..

Other posts on this day:

• Best of Me Symphony #83 – 2005

Is up, over at The Owner’s Manual. Below are the contributors this time around:

Conservative Cat: Confused Americans for Truth – Pie a la Liberal

Watcher of Weasels looks at The Undiscovered Country.

Multiple Mentality reflects on just how expensive Girl Scout Cookies have become

ROFASix: Afraid of “more” Democracy in America.

The Owner’s Manual presents: Homeopathetic

Pratie Place: People having no fun at Disneyworld

Give Me Liberty, from Big Picture, Small Office.

TFS Magnum: Police confiscating legally owned firearms.

Why is Tony Blair so coy about Iraq – of his government’s decision to kick Saddam
Hussein out of power? – The Liberty Cadre

It’s Not A Joke -Shiloh Musings.

The Smallest Minority: Kelo v. New London in Slouching Towards Despotism.

Mean Ol’ Meany: Free Money at the Two Dogs Cash Bar!

Chainik Hocker: Dem Bums

Right Wing Nuthouse: History vs Heritage.

Same day, different year..

Other posts on this day:

• “Open mic” blog announcement – 2005

Number of blogs referencing this twit, even though her 15 minutes are up (OK day lee is guilty as sin on this one too).

I know, I already commented on this over at the GOC, but it bears repeating. Only because tonight as I’m flipping through the news stories on TV her bug-eyes come on the screen, big as life as she tells Katie Couric,

“I had a bottle of pills or I had the bus ticket,”

I wish I was there that day, amongst a crowd of people, so we could all stand behind her and chant, “Bottle of pills! Bottle of Pills!” like when the crowd shouts to contestants on The Price Is Right.

I know. I’m so mean. Stupid bitch!

Same day, different year..

Other posts on this day:

• Oprah plays race card, Tom Cruise plays Jeopardy! – 2005

Oprah Winfrey denied at Hermes, all you can eat buffets

Come see Tom play J-E-O-P-A-R-D=Y!

Tom Cruise is foaming at the mouth…someone shoot him, quick!

Same day, different year..

Other posts on this day:

• Wilbanks – WOE IS ME – 2005

This entry was posted on Monday, June 27th, 2005 at 10:20 pm and is filed under xX-Everything Else-Xx. You can follow responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Responses are currently closed, but you can trackback from your site.

…and call it the Puppy Blender. Serve up some Dalmation Daquris, have a nice ‘lil happy hour, maybe some bar food like Jalepeno Puppers, make all the waitstaff wear many dogtags as ‘flair’, you get the idea.

This is how many times the name is brought up, just in a given day.

Same day, different year..

Other posts on this day:

OK this is two days late, I like to post these on Sundays but uh…. I’ve been busy.

No more no more no more no more
OK I’m not sure if this person was looking for the lyrics to Ray Charles’ “Hit The Road, Jack” or if the person was just demanding NO MORE! So I’m just gonna go the Puppy Blender route and simply say, “Indeed.”

dickweed band
Whoo hoo! They’re on tour! *flicks my lighter* Wtf is a dickweed band?

Same day, different year..

Other posts on this day:

The news surrounding this woman’s disappearance is a painful reminder that we as American adults need to be more involved in children’s lives (yes, they may be 17 & 18 but they are still just kids) and we need to be ‘hip’ to what is going on at all times.

I cannot even believe that (even though Aruba has a reputation of being a ’safe’ and ‘friendly’ and ‘low key’) it is ANOTHER COUNTRY! I am a 32-year old woman and I once went on a working convention where all staff were grouped into team, each team having a leader. All the team leaders had to know where each of his/her team members were at any given moment, and leader was given a cell phone. And we were in the US, and all working, responsible adults! To think that these chaperones attending this high school class trip were in their hotel rooms sleeping while these kids were out galavanting in night clubs (on foreign soil no less), is beyond my mental grasp. I can’t understand why there was not at least 1 adult with them that stayed til the ‘last call’ hour at that bar, where Natalee was seen leaving with a non-member of the group.

It is high time parents stop ‘respecting’ teens privacy and holding onto the whole ‘treat me like an adult’ nonsense in such situations. If I was one of those chaperones and saw her trying to walk out the door with a strange boy (who’s not part of the group and is a local, no less), I’d march right up to her and demand to know who this person was and where did they think they were going? Back to the hotel, that’s where. Say goodnight!

I’m sorry to sound so harsh but when you go to these tropical islands and beaches, places like Mexico and such, they may be relatively laid back and low key but come on, any person who has traveled these areas (or has watched MTV spring break in Cancun on TV) will tell you that the beaches and clubs in these places are full of shady characters, all crooked as a barrel of snakes! And who leech on–like flies to manure–to our blonde (and otherwise) American girls.

It has been widely held here in the states that Aruba has not been handling the case as well as we might here in the U.S. But there is a key here that people in Aruba are not telling, but rather showing, every day. They say it’s safe there, that the crime is relatively low. Well, perhaps it’s not! Maybe it’s just relatively unenforced and maybe the dingbats that run the communities down there just have a tendancy to turn the other cheek when it comes to many things. I personally have a hard time believing that anyone who upholds the law (Law. That’s reaching…what law?) down there knows what they are doing or even really cares! And the fact that the Aruban officials & news media ‘cannot comment on’ this or that, just pisses me off.

I’m also of the opinion that it makes no sense that they arrested people a week AFTER suspicions were raised, giving all these idiots a fair amount of time to get rid of evidence, straigten out stories amongst each other, and whatnot. At this point, I highly doubt that this woman is even alive (God forbid) and it pains me to know that once there is a recovery (if ever) that the case may never be solved insofar as linking any crime to a person.

I also do not understnd for the life of me, why they let the boat DJ go? I guess I just had this theory that perhaps someone used the party boat guy as a connection to do something awful like get rid of a body. And of the people who have been let go? They all say “Yes, I’m free now and it’s because I’m innocent.” Why haven’t any of them said, “Yes, I’m free now and it’s because I’m innocent. And I’m going to go now and offer myself to the family to help in the search.” And Van Der Sloots parents? Why–the whole time he has been in jail–have they not offered to help at all? And the locals? What are they doing to help? Even if they can’t. I don’t seem to be hearing any word of any offers at the very least. It makes no sense. Something is fishy and not right.

Then where there is help, the Dutch and Netherland officals don’t want it! These bastards come fly in to the island just to preside over the prosecution of these suspects and boss around the U.S. Marines and others that come in from our country to help do searches with high tech equipment. Now we have leagues of America’s finest, just sitting around on their asses with boatloads of sonar and other high tech tools that could possibly recover the Titanic and nothing can be done about it.

I’m just really disappointed.

Same day, different year..

Other posts on this day:

• Weird Searches of the Week – 2005