G+, Kiss My Sass, And Day_lee Adventures
More weird searches
n sync linens
Google seems to have jumbled up my site’s description (which states I DON’T have any poems devoted to NSYNC) with an entry I had about people who hog the washing machine in my apartment building.
ass for daysI know I’ve got a big butt, but I’m pretty sure it’s not that big.
Earlier today…
If your blog is alot like mine (sucky) then chances are you need to kill it. At least that’s what they told me at kill your blog. After I took the quiz, the resulting pop-up window indicated the following:
Your weblog’s rating is 56%. OK, it’s not bad, I suppose. But it would behoove well to lift your game since there’s plenty of logs like yours. My advice is to start stalking their editors.P.S. Please do not take screenshots of this pop up window. (I didn’t, honest!)
fucking cool
modern living has been around since way before that blessed day that I bought my computer. Go see it. Summed up in 5 words: black and white poetry in motion. [shockwave site]
the rawkin’-est mouse house ever
Complete with puppets you can download and play with, yourself! Plus a nipple gallery that’s updated regularly. Yes, I said nipple gallery.
All your base are belong to us!Yeah, I’m always the last to know everything. In my site tracking logs someone keeps referring my site on some webpage belonging to a Japanese band called Shonen Knife, it’s like, the third time its happened since Christmas so I keep going back there to see where they put my link. Some of it’s in Japanese so I never manage to find the referring page with the link in it. Anyway that’s where I first saw the phrase above. I was wondering if it was some sort of bad translation, to mean some crazy thing. At the time I thought, who knows? So, being nosy like I am, I went to napster and found a couple of their songs. Apparently this girl band does alot of covers of American songs from the 70’s. It’s kinda cool actually. ‘Daydream Believer’ was decent. Anyway, the other day a friend was asking me “hey, what does ‘all your base are belong to us’ mean?”. That’s when I decided to go hunting and go see what this was all about. Dang. I was really out of the loop on this whole deal. Anyway, here is the actual site to view this movie, All your base are belong to us! [shockwave].
More weird searches
photos of american dessert tortise
Refers to an entry where I bitched about something being hard enough to crack than a tortise’s shell, posting photos of stuff on the net, talking about the time I made dessert for a volunteer club lunch meeting, and the Don McLean song American Pie made ever more famous thanks to the stupidest movie ever made with its namesake. The only funny part of this movie in my opinion, was “One time, at band camp…” and “So, are we gonna go do it, or are you gonna sit there and make me tell stories about band camp all night?”
hacked + “credit card numbers” list of
Well, I NEVER! Really though…I think I posted a link to a story about a huge credit card scam but don’t expect to find any such lists here.
I’m going to go eat some girl scout cookies! …yeah I got the coconut caramel choclate striped ones, the mint ones and the chocolate peanut butter ones. damn straight.
March MadnessHas already started…can I get a whoo hoo? Ever since the Minnesota State high school league tourneys started, I stay far away from downtown LOL. You can’t go eat anywhere or go no place, man–lots of damned high school kids everywhere. For the NCAA basketball games, we are having a ‘blind’ pick pool at the office. Everyone put in five bucks. I picked:
South – North Carolina [2]Midwest – Creighton [10]East – Oklahoma State [11]West – George Mason [14]
free George W. Bush $200 bill
I guess someone at Denny’s somewhere used a $200 bill with George Dubya’s face on it, and the casheir took it and gave the guy $198.00 in change. I heard all the guy bought was an ice cream cone.
Final notefunny name for a site: CarAccident.com
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SXSW results GO!
UNC in the house!Let’s see how they play against Penn State tomorrow. Momma needza new paira shoes.
weird searches
chilly willy photos
Are there actual photos? Apparently someone wanted to see if there were. Sick people.
“frank mccourt” and “parody”
I’m not sure if this person was looking for something about Frank McCourt parodying himself or what, but the entry it pulls up was my links page from years ago.
Levi’s commercial invisible
This led to an entry about things that annoy me, one of which was that damned commercial. I dunno why someone would go searching for that, but there it is.
Going to the bank. I’ll bring back some samples.
Why the XFL sucks
Jesse “the Body” or Jesse “the Governor”?Speaking of vile things, I have found Minnesota Public Radio’s The Body’s Politics: The Ventura Collection a very useful and even humorous tool in my ever-so recent attempt at getting to the core of our Governor. I still haven’t really figured him out yet. Maybe you have. I would love your feedback. In any case, the site provides us with his latest offering. ‘Ventura on Midday’. Mr. Ventura appeared on MPR’s show ‘Midday’ on March 7, 2001. Click here for a slideshow and listen to him [realaudio].
The McSweenifier
Making your writing look better than it is. The cool people at crummy.com have formulated ‘a method for formatting arbitrary text in the style of the popular internet journal M C S W E E N E Y ‘S’. My favorite article so far is “The True Adventures of Jon Bon Jovi, Chapter One: Meeting the Bonge” Ha. For more fun stuff by these guys, go here
That’s the BOMB
Courtesy of geeklife, who in turn got this link from Badassmofo. PBS’s website has a cool tool to estimate the severity of damage that a nuclear bomb would impact on a given area. Pretty neat, I’d say.
Puffy Gets off
I saw the video clip on MSNBC.com and I can’t help but note how he seems so releived in the shots taken with him and Johnny Cochran. Wonder why? The link to the article is above. (MSNBC likes to play games with how these links show up in my entries, sometimes they show up, sometimes they don’t)
Eminem to have bio-movie soon
The film in the works, to be produced by Brian Grazer of “The Nutty Professor” and “How the Grinch Stole Christmas” fame, told Access Hollywood that he’d cast Eminem in a film inspired by the rapper’s own life and is said it will be much like “Purple Rain”, giving a glimpse of Eminem’s life. Access Hollywood comments that it’s “Probably not a good first-date movie”.
Tell me how to get to Sesame Street
The dirt on all your fave muppets. Catch tonight’s A&E Biography Close-Up: Sesame Street (8 p.m.). Reader Bonus: Did you know where Bert & Ernie got their names? That’s right, their characters were inspired by Bert and Ernie, the cop and the taxi driver from Frank Capra’s holiday classic, “It’s A Wonderful Life”, starring Jimmy Stewart and Donna Reed (that’s an OLD bit of trivia).
Lordy, Lordy, Look who’s 40…
Ken doll, this is your life! Salon.com does him up right. See him through the ages of fashion and style, from the crew cut to painted on plastic hair. From bony to brawny and anatomically correct he was given a bump. The day lee misadventures proudly gives Ken Doll the Stedman Graham acheivement award for, as with Mr. Graham and Oprah Winfrey, his years of service with no real committment, to his gal pal, Barbie Doll (except, in Barbie’s case, hadn’t she donned a wedding gown many times in the last 40 years in preparation for nuptuals, but the two were never actually were proclaimed husband and wife?)
Britney Spears succumbs to the Pepsi pop star challenge
Last month she signed a marketing deal with Pepsi to promote the company’s soft drink. Terms of the contract were not disclosed but I caught Access Hollywood’s ‘behind the scenes’ look at the video shoot and I can only say that it is pretty perky and va va voomy for a soda commerical. They say there is to be a surprise guest in the ad as well…oooh, can we hardly wait? Brit is also said to have a book in the works? Egads.
Steven Seagal has another movie. God help us all. “Exit Wounds” is due out soon, which also features rapper-turned-wannabe-actor DMX. Regarding his role in the movie, Seagal was quoted on Access Hollywood as saying: “This is the first time I played a human being…er, well I don’t know about that, but I felt human doing it” er, ok Steven.
Now I’ve seen everything.
I thought foot fetishes were a strange thing. There are actually people who fantasize about being crushed, eaten alive, and being at the mercy of a giant person. Let’s not forget about those who are into balloons and having food thrown or spilled on them. Very strange. I could go on all day. But I’ve got better things to do.
UGLY ass home decorating tips from 1975
These are my favorite parts, and then I like This one. It reminds me of the oversized spoons/utensils my mother had on her kitchen wall. There were four pieces I think, and I’m sure I had every one of them broken on my backside (I was a bad child). I especially liked the one about looking through the window. It said: hanging beaded curtains in front of an window with an unattractive view is much like looking at a rainbow through raindrops. No. It’s more like looking at Newark through dog turds beaded onto string.
Weird Searches
Clone human ireland
I hope I haven’t let the searcher down when he got my page as a result, but this does not lead to an actual serious article about cloning humans. It was A JOKE, people!
Guess my site is the fuck of the day. Oddly enough, I’m flattered. At least it’s considered the ‘anything of the day’! No one reads me, dammit. I guess it’s long overdue, but I have now decided to settle for being a search result for porn seeking perverts. Unhappily so. But there it is.
cumshots powerpoint
Has the Microsoft Office line come out with a new product? Hmmm…well I know for sure I have bitched about Powerpoint in the past but don’t recall ever combining it with sexy camera poses. It’s that old dirty ‘C’ word, back to haunt my referer logs once again.
+learn +”good lover” +pics
More sex. Sex, sex, sex. Ack. Is that all America is searching for? Google seems to have my number there. This particular entry had me posting a couple of funny pics submitted to me by a friend and also further down the entry, I spotlighted a list of cute things kids say about love, one of which where the kids commented on ‘How to be a A Good Lover’.
the gerbilI don’t own any pets. Nor have I posted anything about gerbils—er, THE GERBIL. Apparently someone is in search of the infamous ONE GERBIL and wants to learn more about it. THE gerbil, eh? Does that mean he has to do the gerbil pride parade ALL BY HIMSELF?!*Ahem*Thank you, Margaret Cho.
MSN’s Guide to the Academy Awards Does anybody REALLY even care this year? I don’t.
OMIGOD, I don’t know, like, what to say!
I am so blonde and silly and 19 and gosh, when I get on the phone with my boyfriend (he’s ever so dreamyyy) I just want him to talk about how cute I am all night and never know what else to say! Heaven forbid I should actually do some brain work, and stimulate some stuff upstairs! Lord knows I don’t know how to be passionate about something ’cause there’s nothing that I care about THAT much. And I haven’t had many experiences ’cause I’m on a short leash, what with living with mom and dad, and my 11-hour-a-week job at the mall. Oh hey! A site where people can post their dating dilemmas!
Celebrities cutting back!
Thank you Dave Letterman! In efforts to help ease things in light of the recent stock market crash, which caused alot of layoffs in dot com companies, the following is a list of how celebrities are cutting back:
Chuck Knoblauch – Going to ask crowds at games to return all wild balls
Oprah Winfrey – Ordering cuts in pay for everyone not named Oprah
Darva Conger – Oops, no longer a celebrity, why’s she on this list anyway?…omit her!
Regis Philbin – Who wants to be comfortable?
Robert Downey Jr. – Buying GENERIC illegal drugs
Hugh Rodham (Sen. Hilary’s brother) – Now slicing prices on presidential pardons. $200k for a presidential pardon? That is quite a cut. Have you seen this guy? I’d pardon him if he could do a situp!
Martha Stewart – switching from Heinekken to Old Milwaukee’s Best
Jerry Seinfeld – Appearing on lame late nite talkshow in NY instead of appearing on lame late nite talkshow in LA
Puff Daddy – Now only shooting up clubs w/no cover charge
Bill Clinton – strippers at dance clubs now getting IOU’s in their garter belts from him instead
Other posts on this day:
This term for one who is punished for the misdeeds of others is the result of a mistranslation. The term was coined in 1530 by William Tyndale, who misread the Hebrew word azazel, a wild demon from the desert in the Old Testament to whom the scapegoat was driven forth. It is also mentioned as the place to which the scapegoat was sent on the Day of Atonement. Two goats were chosen and after one was sacrificed, the other was let loose in the wilderness, symbolically carrying away the nation’s sins. This ritual is described in the Avodah. Aaron, as atonement, ’shall cast lots’ on two goats ‘one for the Lord, and the other for the scapegoat’.
Tyndale was not the only one to make this error, a Greek translation of the Old Testament, uses tragos apopompaios, or the goat that is sent out. The Vulgate Bible refers to the second goat as a caper emissarius, or the emissary goat. Coverdale’s 1535 Bible refers to it as a free goat. But it was Tyndale who coined the term scapegoat, or scapegoote as he spelled it.It was not until 1824 that the word acquired its current, wider sense. All prior usages have been in terms of the Leviticus passage. The verb form appeared in 1943.
Other posts on this day:
This is the dawning of the age of the “Am I [insert anything here] or not?” web site
And I’ll be damned if I am going to let it pass us all by, without commenting on it. I think it’s a crying shame that some of the sites below (the ones that are LAME) went out of their way to capitalize on the growing (and hopefully soon slowing) trend that these guys started. However, some of the examples below are extremely funny and somewhat original. I am too tired to tell you which ones I think are shameful and which ones I think are neat. Also, if you can’t tell the difference, then for pete’s sake, go back from whence you came.
Screwed…and didn’t even get a kiss!
amifuckedornot.com brought to us by fucked company. For those of you trying to predict the success and/or failure of such important matters as the dot com industry, and certain other things.
SOMEBODY SET UP US THE BOMB
Do all your base are belong to us or not?. You have no chance to survive make your time.
God, please no!
amigothornot? Does the so-called ‘goth’ community and their wannabes need a site like this to assure themselves of such? Apparently so. The criteria for submitting your photo to be judged disqualifies the pic if it is “broken, copyrighted, or un-Goth (BMW’s, tanned skin, Britney Spears, etc.)”. Um, guys…you’d better double check this submission, I think the count has got that purple tan cookin’. Jesus.
Rule #1: If images are a big part of your site, make sure they are linked correctly! Am I a geek or not? Um…the webmaster of this site definitely is. ALL the damned graphics are broken. Oh and then they have the nerve to even have an honorable mention page, in case you might not fit into the category. Those are broken too. Go figure.
Am I president or not?
The Brunching Shuttlecocks–innovators of amusing technology, once again amaze us by asking “How presidential are you?” Raise several million dollars and find out! Does not accept submissions that are “broken, unviewable, baffling, or inappropriate (ads, porn, ads for porn, pets, ads for pets, ads for porn for your pets, Walter Mondale, etc)”. Pat Buchanan, however, made it through somehow. To those of you with questions or suggestions, all they have to say is “huh.”.
Am I Kottke or not?
Jason’s fans and foes alike should enjoy this one.
http://www.amimulletornot.com/ – scratch that…don’t bother. They’re down.
Holier than thou
Am I God or not begs the question. Don’t expect to see your rating, because according to the webmaster: “Unfortunately, results cannot be shown to non-divine beings like you (and besides, you’re just going to sit there and click “1″ anyway)” M-kaaay. Below the rating, they also note: Ph’nglui mglw’nafh Cthulhu R’lyeh wagn’nagl fhtagn. Which means what? Nevermind. I guess my deity is not Godly enough to know that.
Primates: Rate your mates
monkey hot or not? How monkey hot are you?
http://www.amiannoyingornot.com/ – This one already graced one of my earlier entries, but here it is again.
Are those Doritos or not?
am I stoned or not? – I highly (pun intended) doubt that I’ll need to submit a photo to be judged, in order to find that out.
I’m cooler than you
Am I cool or not? thinks that by looking at a person’s photo, you should be able to judge what music you think that person likes. They post your suggestions and at the end of the week make their verdict: COOL or FOOL. If submitting my answer would make me cool and not doing so would make me a fool then I guess I’ll take the latter by skipping the whole elementary school game altogether.
Other posts on this day:
Now I look back and I see that it’s been two years and too long. I’ve been saying these things to myself for awhile now but last Thursday I had resolved that no matter what (well, almost) I would get a different job. I’ve had only two interviews and have been to three temporary work agencies. Until I find something suitable, I’ll do some temping in the meantime and see what else breaks through.
On a lighter, furrier note…
Tonight I had a mouse in the house! Just what I need…even spiders give me the willies, so you can imagine I was a bit stirred up, to say the very least.
My sister and I were sitting and chatting at my desk, she was in the middle of typing out an email to a friend an that’s when she flinched. I saw her look to her left very quickly and then she turned her head back forward and made a quick little facial expression like she saw a ghost. I grabbed her arm and demanded to know if she had seen something (because I thought the worst thing would be a bug that she saw….and I HATE bugs) and she casually denied it (afterward, she admits she only said so because she didn’t want me to think she was flippin’ out) and then I said “Is it a mouse?” to which she said “No, it’s nothing”. She changed her mind not two seconds later because there he was, just a baby, no bigger than by big toe. He looked up at us and chewing on something.
I let out a couple of ‘eek’ sounds and we left pretty quickly in search of her hubby (their house is just down the street). We thought for sure HE’D get it for us! Little did we expect him to be sitting on the couch in his skivees, watching a tape of Thursday’s WWF show, practically comatose when we asked him.
Reluctant and with the willies, I managed to crawl back home and call the caretaker, who was over a few minutes later and was plenty eager to catch the dirty varmit. And so he did. Now I can rest.
Other posts on this day:
They can see me from their perch and follow me with their heads as I move from one room to another in my apartment…it is so endearing. They’re windowsill hunters, too. They sit and watch all the birds and squirrels and bugs with such a fierce interest that they almost seem like they’re gonna go after one.
On Wednesday night I went with a friend to dinner at the Chart House restaurant in Lakeville. Very good chicken. Pretty good salad. Unfortunately, it meant I didn’t get home until late because we had to stop at her parents’ house (way out in Apple Valley) for something.
Man, I haven’t been HOME enough ALL WEEK and it’s only gonna be worse ’cause I am going out of town all this weekend and won’t be home ’til Sunday. To top that off, I had my alarm clock set incorrectly and kept waking up later than usual and had no time for a shower two days in a row. Gross, I know, but whaddya gonna do? (I’m making a mental note right now to pack a bar of soap, some shampoo and a towel to leave in my desk at work, since there’s showers in the basement at the office building for people who jog or bike to work).
This week, Monday night I had to go run errands and didn’t get home until late and then Tuesday night I went to Shan’s house. Turns out that she had to go into the hospital for back pains. After her car accident this winter, the doc had to runs some tests and that included a CAT scan and a spinal tap, one side effect being terrible back pain afterward. Let me tell you that you NEVER want to have one of those done. When I was nine, I was in the hospital for a week with a bout of near meningitis and I had to endure one of those and had pain for days afterward. The kind of pain you don’t forget.
Anyway I like to AT LEAST get online long enough to update my journal and read my email, so you can imagine how geeked I was tonite to finally sit down and surf for an hour or so.
Well it’s getting late so I’ll git goin and see if I can manage one more day this week. I’ll be back next week with more…
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