BJ Woods

What are you doing, to learn how to keep from getting angry over stupid stuff?

When I was younger, I used to be angry a lot, mostly about things outside of my control. Not only is being angry all the time not healthy (it manifested itself physically with me by creating tension in my head, neck, and shoulders, poor diet and sleep habits, etc.), it’s often unnecessary and a waste of time. Why get sick over things I can’t help?

So I’ve spent some of my free time in the last couple years trying to understand my anger, what sets it off, and learning how to reign it in/avoid it.

Just now, I found myself almost ready to start seething to a client because a partner of theirs sent me an email asking ordering me to send something to them that I already sent last week—and I started to get really angry, because “COULDN’T THEY READ?! Why am I wasting my time with this?” It did not make sense to me that I had to spend more time on something I had previously finished. I even went so far as to make sure this person got what they needed before they even asked for it, which is what kinda irked me last time. Why did it make me so mad? I could list off a number of things…this person is not my client and doesn’t pay me to do things for them, yet they order me around like I am an employee, and their communications are careless (not saying ‘please’ or ‘thank you’, calling me a name I don’t go by). Last time, it made me so mad, I called my client and said I will send the item this person requests directly to them and let them handle it. But this continues to happen, where the person reaches out directly to me in what I consider a rude manner.

So what do I do? I have decided it’s not worth getting angry over, since although those things might irk anyone, I can’t tell this person how to behave. Next time, I will simply request a confirmation after a day or so if I don’t hear back. Then it’s out of my control. Like it was before. But this time, I promise myself not to get angry about it, it’s not worth it.

http://modernstoicism.com/stoic-philosophy-and-anger/

'Stoic Philosophy and Anger' by Greg Sadler

Everything, whether good or bad, is an opportunity to practice virtue. Even failure is good, because it’s not just something to learn from, but a chance to test your character.

https://www.youtube.com/attribution_link?a=nk9kSWVktZ8&u=/watch?v%3DdhrKg8_ltyQ%26feature%3Dshare

“Life is terrible. The world is horrible and full of tragedy. Even little things get us down. When it rains outside, we get upset that it’s cold and wet outside, but we don’t stamp our feet and shout, cursing the rain for ruining our day.”

https://www.theodysseyonline.com/anger-anxiety-stoicism

Amor Fati: Learning To Love And Accept Everything That Happens

Think and act like a cat
Cats spend their time on basic life necessities—eating, going to the bathroom, and sleeping. While human lives are clearly more complex, there’s still something to be learned from the feline lifestyle. When a cat’s routine is disrupted, it simply walks away. It doesn’t pay attention to the drama of humans (or give in to their demands). Like cats, we should try to avoid the potentially bothersome, uninteresting, or problematic whenever possible. Don’t waste your time engaging with people or situations that don’t serve you well. Especially if you know that doing so may lead to anger or frustrations.

Everyone has seen or gone through some tough stuff. Not a single one of us hasn’t experienced a hard time or been under a dark shadow, even briefly, that we never seem to get out from under.

But we have a choice. We can choose to stay under the shadow, or we can live. It doesn’t mean we have to forget, or even forgive.

Me, I choose to live.

Far be it from me to comment on such things on social media, but I had a lot in my head the last few days, so I let it out in a piece I wrote. Hopefully, it makes some sense to at least one person.

https://medium.com/@bjwoods/perimeter-people-5198db0b6e45

https://medium.com/@bjwoods/perimeter-people-5198db0b6e45

Everything around us operates according to a web of cause and effect, resulting in a rational structure of the universe (LOGOS), and while we don’t have control over the events affecting us, we can control how we react and approach things happening around us using logic, calm, self-restraint and moderation, fairness, and courage. Because we all share the same fundamental humanity.

Photo: An excerpt of “Worth While” by Ella Wheeler Wilcox

“it is not the man who listens eagerly and memorizes what philosophers say who is prepared for philosophizing, but the man who is prepared to carry into action what is pronounced in philosophy and to live by it”

– Stobaeus, Anthology 2.11k