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Seems that is all the traffic I get.  Ever.  Horny ol’ pervies lookin’ for stuff I don’t have. 

Looks like my blog has been fucking all day

oh no…my computer is hakking. Could it be a hairball? Damn. I knew someday this would get me into trouble. I was trying to say HOCK a loogy. I still don’t know whether I spelled loogy OR its adjective correctly.

To heck with Sorry!, Outburst, and the home version of ‘Wheel of Fortune‘! Now there’s the cumshot game!. Some assembly required. Batteries not included.

God help me, I DON’T KNOW WHY.

Yes, we have no old cumshots. We have no old cumshots today.

I think someone was looking for a baby chair but for some reason came up with a little entry about one of my friends, BECAUSE THEY DON’T KNOW HOW TO SPELL! So this search was especially silly to me, since I think my friend Cheir is PLENTY to handle own her own…as a grownup. This world doesn’t need a miniature version of her crawling around, too.

Who the hell wears nail studded shirts, anyway?

didn’t you know my site was chock-full of shitty diapers?

Some bad news. My grandmother is in hospice as of Monday. She probably will not last to the end of the week, battling lung cancer and other complications. Since I may have to go to Duluth and very soon (this weekend, maybe),  It’ll be okay. It’s been months since everyone has known about her dying, now. Still though, she’s pulled through a lot of the time when we thought the worst was about to happen.

Well, I was really panicked at first ’cause earlier that day, right before it was time to close up at work, a family friend called to update me on Grandma’s condition.  I all but ran home to pack and get going but my mother called to talk to me and said that from the time I got the call up ’til then, things did change for the better and I ended up not going up anyway.

Mom said Grandma wasn’t “doing good” but they were just anxious to tell me I guess. I did say a couple things to Gram on the phone Tuesday night though. Probably for the last time, but that’s a good thing…I will always have good memories of her, plus she has her faith to keep her strong, so I know she’ll be okay, even in the end.

On a lighter note:
Well, the trip to St. Cloud was great. I got in really late last Thursday night, because the person I was traveling with had to work Friday. No biggie. I was ready to head home anyway. Plus we were exhausted and didn’t feel like staying for the awards dealie and speech after the last night’s dinner. I was kinda glad to be back.

The whole trip was alright in general ’cause everybody was nice but I don’t think I could do it next year. Maybe. Anyway, our destination was about an hour and a half away and when we arrived it started raining and pretty much rained the whole time I was there, it was very sticky but not too hot, though.

At the kickoff event on Tuesday night we went to the Paramount theater where the entertainment was great. Warren Nelson and the Blue Canvas Orchestra of Wisconsin/Minnesota fame, opened the show and The Blenders topped it off.

There were lots of people where we were staying. The next day I went exploring downtown and ended up doing some shopping and hanging around in coffee shops and bookstores while mom and her gang and the rest of the officials attending were in classes.

It was cool that night ’cause we went to a dinner and they had this big band type playing. The highlight of the night (NOT) was this: they hauled the ten Miss Minnesota candidates into the ballroom where we were all sitting, and had them introduce themselves and talking about their candidacy and their soft non-issue-laden platforms…what fun.  No world peace and saving the whales type of shit, but not my idea of dinner entertainment, either.

Did I make any personal progress? Well yes. I met a lot of people. Most of them involved in city and community work, so they little or no expertise in my line of business. I did pass my card out to some folks who asked who I was but was careful not to put them on the table I was working at, thereby advertising myself. I was there to promote Organization X, not myself. I did get five new members signed up for the group, and handed out lots of material to those who were curious but not ready to sign up yet.

Later that night all the booths went down and so did I, to the cash bar before hitting the last dinner, which was more of a formal affair. Didn’t get hooked up with some rich mama’s boy mayor or anything hot like that, so no nookie points, but all’s well that ends well, I s’pose.

Also, I just snatched up an at home net job, it is writing reviews for a very up-and-coming but nonetheless, live website for travelers, businesses, tourists, etc. and I am sure that it will be a challenge at first, because it is entirely different to what I’m doing right now to make a living, but I’m kinda excited to see how well I can do at this. Yeah.

How’d that happen? Well the other night I was just looking around at job websites and I saw two so far that seemed attractive. They were both no-pay jobs but I was willing to do them ’cause they small and quick projects that would add to my portfolio, which needs some fattening, I’ll admit. One was an offsite job where they wanted someone to design their graphic logo and re-do the HTML for the main page. Very easy. I looked at the other one after that only to find out that they are in India. Well that doesn’t make any difference if it’s offsite work.

Anyway before I got the offer yesterday, I posted replies to both of those two no pay ones and about seven others I thought I could handle.

I’ve got the debt repayment program working set up and working now, I can’t tell you what a blessing it is to be able to use it.

Well that’s all my news for now, since I’ve gotta get up at 5:30 to go walking, I should be hittin’ it…

Same day, different year..

Other posts on this day:

• the Queen of Finger Food – 2005

So far, tonite…

I’ve got my bags packed and I’m ready to leave town tomorrow night after work, out further west to St. Cloud to take some time off work and help out at a conference that I’ve been invited to do some work at.  A client that I do a website for has asked me to help work at the booth where their group is attending the conference. They need someone to work their table so the members of the organization can attend meetings and I’ll be glad to help out and perhaps toot my own horn, since I’ve got nothing better to do lately, LOL

Well I’m excited a little bit..it should be fun. They are paying my hotel fare and meals and giving me some money to work for them on Thursday during meetings and stuff. I got my business cards all ready to pick up tomorrow on my way out and everything. I’m getting a ride from an old friend so it’s cool.

Been busy lately, trying to get myself put back together. Trying to get more money under my belt by looking for more work, so far I got a PT evenings job hopefully lined up to start the week I get back and also gonna start a debt repayment program so things are looking up for me.

Can’t wait to be off work the rest of the week.

Hey, did I tell you this page has been all over the globe? Yup. From Wisconsin to New York to Cali, Canada and even to Sweden and Malaysia. Way freaky man, how small the world is.

Well, I’ve got to get to bed if I’m gonna be up extra early to finish some chores around the house before I go. I’m leaving right after work so I won’t be back ’til Friday or Saturday. Expect a big update this weekend.

Niteynite.

Recently, Marines in Iraq wrote to the Starbucks Coffee company because they wanted to let them know how much they liked their coffees and to request that they send some of it to the troops there.

Starbucks replied, telling the Marines thank you for their support in their business, but that Starbucks does not support the war, nor anyone in it and that they would not send the troops their brand of coffee.       So as not to offend Starbucks, we should not support them by buying any of their products. As a war vet writing to fellow patriots, I feel we should get this out in the open. I know this war might not be very popular with some folks, but that doesn’t mean we don’t support the men & women on the ground fighting street-to-street and house-to-house for what they and I believe is right.       If you feel the same as I do then pass this along, or you can discard it and no one will ever know.       Sgt Howard C. Wright 1st Force Recon Co

1st Plt PLT

*****Caribou has better coffee anyway*****

via James

Same day, different year..

Other posts on this day:

• Misc ‘net stuff & March Madness – 2001

Okay. Here’s the deal.

The re-design/re-launch I had planned is not quite ready. AND it seems the folk going over to Austin in March to judge the SXSW Interactive competition (Hi guys :>) are not going to be doing the judging in March, (as I had sort of um–assumed) but rather, they are doing it as you are reading this.

And as of yesterday, I’ve landed me a full-time, two month stint at a long term care facility. I’m filling in for the 70 year old woman at the front desk, who’s getting her hip replaced. Yay me. Go-oooo me.

Hoo Rah.

Ahem.

Anyhoo, that’s where I’ll be. For a while. So any of you that just got off the ol’ SXSW tourbus hoping for some dazzling, razzling, eye-popping site full to the brim with sass, hip young jargon or pretty webpage bells & whistles like say, flipopolis, you’ll have to bear with me.

And um…for the rest of you thinking “how silly of her to enter a design competition and not have done a re-design!”….

Check your pity at the door. Confucious say “Job way more important. Internet just games and smut.”

Okay that was kinda lame. So I guess the latter was just for shits & giggles.

I gotta get the heck outta mom’s house, anyway. I’ll be first in line at SXSW next year.

Anyone who is interested is more than welcome to browse my storylog or the archives, which date back to 1999, back when a site like this wasn’t even called a blog yet.

Yes, boys and girls…this site is a dinosaur. Enjoy.

Same day, different year..

Other posts on this day:

• The Walkman Weirdo – 2001

Now I’ve seen everything.

Same day, different year..

Other posts on this day:

This entry was posted on Sunday, January 26th, 2003 at 12:04 pm and is filed under xX-Everything Else-Xx. You can follow responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Responses are currently closed, but you can trackback from your site.

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Who the HELL even gives two craps about “Ally McBeal”? Nevermind..I don’t wanna know. I HATE that show, with a capital ‘H’.

When it premiered a couple years ago I thought it to be pretty cool, I was like, ‘hey, a show about a woman lawyer, kinda neurotic, kinda aloof, pretty decent’ until they decided to start making it SUCK! Now everyone on that show is just plain PSYCHO!

One thing always sucked about the show from the get-go, though: I never, never, never did like the fact that the lawyer gang always went to that pitiful bar where Vonda Shephard wouldn’t stop singing songs that weren’t even her own…I used to think, “God, someone PLEASE give this girl a record contract and get her OFF my t.v.!”

I know that sounds mean…and I DON’T CARE!!

So all you Ally McCop-A-Feel groupies don’t even try to email me and tell me what a dork you think I am because I already know better.

Oh, and WHY in the WORLD does Mervins’ Department Store think that the commercial with the penguins going around singing Christmas carols about an upcoming sale is funny??? or even cute, for that matter??!! Why is Mervin’s still in business, even? I have no idea.

You know what else? While in a transfixed state watching candy colored and previews being thrown in my face for TV shows like “Beverly Hills, 90210″ and “Shasta McNasty”, I totally forgot that it is November, and that means sweeps time.

Do the t.v. ratings people think we’re stupid? That in May and November we DON’T notice the differences in the way things are presented, that storylines change dramatically, plots thicken, guest stars appear out of nowhere, and strange things happen? Like when certain shows have characters come out of the closet, get married, have babies, 14 year olds getting busted for trying cigarettes and whatnot? And then they add that stupid “A Very Special [insert name of a stupid show here]”.

Do they think we even CARE?

UGH.

On a lighter note, I’ve been redecorating a little. I have all this art that I need to go and get framed. Had it since I’ve moved in this summer. I also got some new throw pillows and slipcovers for my sofa and got a bar w/matching stools for the kitchen. Too cute. I know I just had one but I need another vacation. It’s really a shame that I can’t stay at home and earn a living. Wouldn’t that be the day…well hey, I promise to keep in touch a lot more frequently (as if ANYONE even reads me) and oooh, oooh…forgot to mention the Halloween party we had…check it out.

back later fer sher, dudes…

Another example of life imitating art, or just the sign of a bored guy?

Anyone will tell you when they think of Bill Gates they’re reminded of money. Scott Blake took one look at his face and “I knew he’d look awesome as bar codes.” Blake, 25, designed a computer program which creates very interesting images. He uses it to create portraits of people and the portrait is made up entirely of bar codes, and he’s become quite famous for doing so. At first, he says “I pieced the pictures together with any old bar codes I could find…like the ones from packs of gum,” but now he only uses those bar codes which are relevant to his subjects. For example, he did his Oprah Winfrey portrait with the codes from the Oprah Book Club (author notes: Is this now defunct-?). So, where did the codes come from that he used for the Gates’ portrait? Off a douche bag, perhaps? No. He used the tags from Microsoft products. Clever indeed, but one has to wonder what kind of life Blake leads. www.barcodeart.com

This asshole—who calls himself “The General” Zod–is a writer for an e-zine for men, called “Sex E-Bits” and it’s produced by Twisted Humor. His female counterpart, Amber, publishes a “Sex E-Bits” newsletter for the gals under the same company, and seems to have an equal amount of bravado but so far is less offensive…more or less she just poses as an important writer but it’s obvious she thinks we females are all insecure little sex-crazed whores who’re interested in her brand of ditzy girl talk disguised as an important newsletter for single gals. But I digress. Back to The General: Every week I get a newsletter in my inbox from these fuckwits, and The General Zod is the one who seems to be carrying around a large load of shit which he doles out to his readers in hefty portions. Well I’ve got a few things to say about him, and why I think he and his stupid newsletter can stick it where the pope don’t rollerskate. His editor is on crack, methinks. His most recent newsletter is still sitting in my inbox, unread, amongst other crap I have yet to read but the last two editions frosted my hide, enough for me to devote a post ranting about it (”The General” deserves a lot less) but here goes:

The “Okay I Suppose I’ll Be PC For A Minute But Jeez…I Don’t Get Gay People” Edition

When one wants to give the impression that he/she respects people of all sexual orientations, he/she generally does not then go into a diatribe about how gross you think they are, or that you don’t understand how they go on about their lives, as this places your personal objections in the way of your intentions to show respect for a particular peoples’ lifestyle. In other words, don’t be a fucking hypocrite.

He first gushes on and on about how homosexuals are “great and all and I’ve got some kick ass gay friends who I’d do anything to help out” but says he doesn’t understand “how in the blue hell some men could be gay”, and although he does believe that some could be born that way, he says he thinks perhaps it was because “Maybe the doctor slapped your ass wrong, sparking a subconscious feeling of enjoyment thus leaving you with the desire for dick the rest of your life. Perhaps the first time you had your temperature taken as a baby and the thermometer was shoved up your ass, you had a sensation that left you with the thought that one day you’d like something even larger shoved up your ass. I don’t know, but it could be a number of things. What I don’t get however is the “I started out straight but then turned gay” routine. My ass you just “turned” gay one day. Can someone explain to me how that happens? You go on about your life, have sex with women, then just one day you wake up and decide that you want some dick? I don’t buy that one. I think you were probably always gay and in an effort to remain socially accepted, you fucked some ladies despite always closing your eyes and envisioning your little friend Billy’s asshole as your target rather than her cooch. Whatever the reason is you turned gay, it’s cool. The General has love for everyone but that doesn’t mean I understand you. For the record, I love women. I don’t just say that to be macho or sound cool. I really do LOVE women. I love everything about them and am attracted to them more than probably a normal human being is. Maybe that’s why I have such a hard time understanding gay men. The flip side to that is Lesbians. Now here is a program I can get in touch with. Women are beautiful (unless they’re fat), so I can see the attraction there. “

When one wants to give the impression that he/she respects women, he/she generally should avoid stating an opinion as though it were fact, i.e., instead of saying, “Women are beautiful (unless they’re fat),” rather, it should be stated as “I think women who aren’t fat are beautiful.” Even if you do this correctly, once again, this places your personal objections in the way of your intentions to show respect for a particular peoples’ lifestyle. Open mouth, insert foot.

I guess what I’m trying to say is, if you have an opinion, say so, and don’t try to pretend you are being someone’s friend or supporter and then say such idiotic things.

Now, here’s a gal who’s not fat, she’s even a famous internet chick with a couple awards under her proverbial belt! Surely The General would like to get into her pants, right? Sure! Perhaps we could even hook these two up and see what happens!

Same day, different year..

Other posts on this day:

Why in the world haven’t I been doing an entry every day? Well you know what they say…life happens when you’re making other plans…? Well, in my case I’ve just been so busy I can barely blink, nevermind keeping all of you abreast of the ups & downs of my daily life.

Sorry, but that’s how bad it’s been.

Why is it that when you have work to do, you’re ready to commit yourself totally, and give it all you’ve got…only to discover just how TIRED you are…

Oh how your back aches, your feet, your brain. Your insides. Period. I feel like I’m about 80 years old right now…I must not have gotten enough rest this weekend. I almost never feel this lethargic, with this dull achey feel all over. All I know is that is a fairly new feeling since I usually feel more energetic as the day wears on.

I swear I’m nocturnal. For some reason, I know I could handle a night job. I get more revved up by four o’ clock in the afternoon than anyone else I know. I’m so far from the ‘morning’ personality that you see so often…all these chirpy people at the office, those of the sing-songy voices and smiley faces…

FORGET IT!

Call a meeting at 8 am? *yAWn*… HOLY CHRISTMAS, people! I’ve only been out of bed an hour and a half…I’m about a pot of coffee and six hours behind the rest of you! Schedule it for 2:30pm and I’m the first one there, diet Coke and pad of paper in hand, everyone else falling into line at the door looking like it’s naptime. Strange, isn’t it?

Oh joy, the Holiday season approaches.

Or shall I say ‘is banging the door down’? My town must have wound the glittery garland and festive flags up around the streetlight poles not more than one minute past midnight on Halloween.

Big old hurry they were in..and for what? We haven’t even had the first snowfall yet! Oh well, I’m sure I’ll be in the spirit soon, myself..just not until at least Wednesday, that’s when I’m putting the tree up.

(O:

nitey nite, cats & kittens…

Today’s Words of Wisdom:
“The severity of the itch is proportional to the reach.”

Same day, different year..

Other posts on this day:

• Happy Holidays and Internet Errata – 2000

disgusting burns photos are not something you’ll find here. I do however have an entry
dedicated entirely to my hand surgery in December of ‘99.

I guess I’m a melrose place girl.

she vacuums the car pics. Actually I don’t have a car, and if I did, I certainly wouldn’t have a story about it, let alone photos of me doing it. Someone has a fetish about housework? Who knows.

human clone graphics. This search brings up a particular entry in which I made a news entry regarding what may have been the first human clone.

Celebrity Gossip
I like to look at E!online for celeb gossip and stories (true ones) regularly but some of their attempts at making the stories more ‘colorful’ leave me uninspired. I like to write my own ‘lil features about celeb gossip but need more sources on such stuff so I can get back into the swing of things…

One used to be able to subscribe to an e-mail newsletter called ‘Celebrity Hack’ to get all the latest news on the ones we love to hate the most. In the recent past, its editions of this newsletter included such highlights as Roseanne Barr’s quest to pose nude for Playboy, Sinead O’Connor’s “coming out,” O.J. Simpson’s confrontation with his ex-wife’s sister, the attempted robbery of Madonna’s home in London and even details of the recent 11 million dollar offer Britney Spears received to sleep with a wealthy American business man. “Britney’s minimum acceptable price was $15 mil,” the Celebrity Hack wrote, “so the businessman opted to pick up Christina Aguilera for a song.”

Does ANYONE know where on earth I can find out where Celebrity Hack has gone to? Or where I can find another such newsletter of this caliber? ANY info on this matter would be appreciated.

I’ll mail you a fortune cookie…er something.

later, taters…

Same day, different year..

Other posts on this day:

• This is my Oscars 2005 blog. – 2005