Another example of life imitating art, or just the sign of a bored guy?
Anyone will tell you when they think of Bill Gates they’re reminded of money. Scott Blake took one look at his face and “I knew he’d look awesome as bar codes.” Blake, 25, designed a computer program which creates very interesting images. He uses it to create portraits of people and the portrait is made up entirely of bar codes, and he’s become quite famous for doing so. At first, he says “I pieced the pictures together with any old bar codes I could find…like the ones from packs of gum,” but now he only uses those bar codes which are relevant to his subjects. For example, he did his Oprah Winfrey portrait with the codes from the Oprah Book Club (author notes: Is this now defunct-?). So, where did the codes come from that he used for the Gates’ portrait? Off a douche bag, perhaps? No. He used the tags from Microsoft products. Clever indeed, but one has to wonder what kind of life Blake leads. www.barcodeart.com
This asshole—who calls himself “The General” Zod–is a writer for an e-zine for men, called “Sex E-Bits” and it’s produced by Twisted Humor. His female counterpart, Amber, publishes a “Sex E-Bits” newsletter for the gals under the same company, and seems to have an equal amount of bravado but so far is less offensive…more or less she just poses as an important writer but it’s obvious she thinks we females are all insecure little sex-crazed whores who’re interested in her brand of ditzy girl talk disguised as an important newsletter for single gals. But I digress. Back to The General: Every week I get a newsletter in my inbox from these fuckwits, and The General Zod is the one who seems to be carrying around a large load of shit which he doles out to his readers in hefty portions. Well I’ve got a few things to say about him, and why I think he and his stupid newsletter can stick it where the pope don’t rollerskate. His editor is on crack, methinks. His most recent newsletter is still sitting in my inbox, unread, amongst other crap I have yet to read but the last two editions frosted my hide, enough for me to devote a post ranting about it (”The General” deserves a lot less) but here goes:
The “Okay I Suppose I’ll Be PC For A Minute But Jeez…I Don’t Get Gay People” Edition
When one wants to give the impression that he/she respects people of all sexual orientations, he/she generally does not then go into a diatribe about how gross you think they are, or that you don’t understand how they go on about their lives, as this places your personal objections in the way of your intentions to show respect for a particular peoples’ lifestyle. In other words, don’t be a fucking hypocrite.
He first gushes on and on about how homosexuals are “great and all and I’ve got some kick ass gay friends who I’d do anything to help out” but says he doesn’t understand “how in the blue hell some men could be gay”, and although he does believe that some could be born that way, he says he thinks perhaps it was because “Maybe the doctor slapped your ass wrong, sparking a subconscious feeling of enjoyment thus leaving you with the desire for dick the rest of your life. Perhaps the first time you had your temperature taken as a baby and the thermometer was shoved up your ass, you had a sensation that left you with the thought that one day you’d like something even larger shoved up your ass. I don’t know, but it could be a number of things. What I don’t get however is the “I started out straight but then turned gay” routine. My ass you just “turned” gay one day. Can someone explain to me how that happens? You go on about your life, have sex with women, then just one day you wake up and decide that you want some dick? I don’t buy that one. I think you were probably always gay and in an effort to remain socially accepted, you fucked some ladies despite always closing your eyes and envisioning your little friend Billy’s asshole as your target rather than her cooch. Whatever the reason is you turned gay, it’s cool. The General has love for everyone but that doesn’t mean I understand you. For the record, I love women. I don’t just say that to be macho or sound cool. I really do LOVE women. I love everything about them and am attracted to them more than probably a normal human being is. Maybe that’s why I have such a hard time understanding gay men. The flip side to that is Lesbians. Now here is a program I can get in touch with. Women are beautiful (unless they’re fat), so I can see the attraction there. “
When one wants to give the impression that he/she respects women, he/she generally should avoid stating an opinion as though it were fact, i.e., instead of saying, “Women are beautiful (unless they’re fat),” rather, it should be stated as “I think women who aren’t fat are beautiful.” Even if you do this correctly, once again, this places your personal objections in the way of your intentions to show respect for a particular peoples’ lifestyle. Open mouth, insert foot.
I guess what I’m trying to say is, if you have an opinion, say so, and don’t try to pretend you are being someone’s friend or supporter and then say such idiotic things.
Now, here’s a gal who’s not fat, she’s even a famous internet chick with a couple awards under her proverbial belt! Surely The General would like to get into her pants, right? Sure! Perhaps we could even hook these two up and see what happens!
Same day, different year..
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