Hey all.
It got to a blistering and balmy 12 degrees in the Twin Cities today, and it’s only going to get better! Oooh, we’re expecting a high of 15 degrees on Wednesday…can’t wait! Tonight when I got home I turned up the oven to 450 degrees and stood in front of it like a bum would do, in front of a flaming 55 gallon garbage can in some city alley. I was warm and toasty…for a minute.
It’s freezing in my apartment and I found out much of the cold is attributed to leaky windows. I am gonna have to go get a 3M Window Insulator kit this week. Stopping at KMart on the way home is gonna be a drag, but it’ll pay off soon. Living in Minnesota is sort of like living in Siberia, only the people are nicer. Most of them, anyway.
This week is my last week at my full time job, since I am planning on attending college this spring. Rent and utilities are going to be a bitch if I can only work part time so now I am just pumping up my hours at the PT job and roommate-hunting. Such fun. Wanna live with me? I don’t have any pets, I’ve got cable, and a pullout sofa bed, so you’re all set. I DO snore though. People tell me it’s kind of a whimper/snort/wheeze combination. Dang. That’s gonna cost me a few prospects.
In the midst of all these reality bites, I have actually contemplated telecommuting. That’s right, working from home, just me and my ISP connection. One thing was clear to me, as I surfed along looking at job listing after job listing, and that was the fact that hey! I don’t have to look for a real job, I could simply go running to join the rest of the gang at About.com and be a guide, complete with my own page about the best sushi bars in Knoxville, or proclaim to be an expert on battlebots or even pedicures…I even get my own little doofy picture up in the corner! Right now some of the topics available seem exciting, but I don’t think I could pull off telling folks I was a connoisseur of something like say:
-4wheel drive/SUVs-Atlanta, GA-Canada-Curling-Current Events in India-Dairy Foods (Industry)-Hepatitis-Home Electronics in the U.K.-Jehovah’s Witnesses-Laboratory Supplies/Devices (Industry)-Memphis, TN
-Men’s Health
*Sigh* About.com will just have to do without me, I guess.
Hey, guys! Is it THAT BAD finding a decent gal pal these days?
Apparently the people at realdoll.com think so. For ONLY $5,749.00, you too can have the girl of your dreams. “always ready & available … provides stress-free companionship.” and claims to be affordable–”less inexpensive than most alternatives” (what KIND of alternatives?!) are the company’s many self-praises. Well, guys, I’m a CHEAP date! Just last night I was completely contented just sitting on the couch with a bag of microwave popcorn and a re-run of some show on the history channel, for pete’s sake. Plus I’m cute, bubbly, have a brain, nice boobs, clear skin, big brown eyes and hell…I’m fun to be around, dammit! [credit for my attention to the above goes to killyourtv.com -b]
Moving on–Here’s something to cheer up er, some people:
Success at any age:At age 4, success is…… not peeing your pants.At age 12, success is…… having friends.At age 20, success is…… having sex.At age 35, success is…… making good money.At age 60, success is…… having sex.At age 70, success is…… having friends.
At age 80, success is…… not peeing your pants.
You’ve got Crap
Starting today, I will be taking the trash out. whatever dumb shit people send me in my email (spam, free this-N-thats), will get spread across the page, on a hopefully regular basis. enjoy.
Calling all trailer park-dwelling single moms:
Here’s your very own guide to making double-sure that guy you picked up at the bar the other night isn’t a crook: http://www.casebreakers.com gets you quick access to criminal records online, including:-county and state criminal records-warrant searches-state and federal prision searches It’s fairly cheap, too, provided you skip out on a couple Sunday night bingos and the occasional bottle of Wild Turkey…
DYING to have the latest book by Rosie O’Donnell?
Sure…aren’t we ALL?! well, if you fill out a questionaire, these guys will GIVE you one, for free. Like I’d pay for it!
Hold me, Sniff me, kiss me, thrill meAt http://www.thisproductworks.com, (which by the way, I think is the lamest domain name EVER for a commercial site) they are featuring Androstenone, a product supposedly guaranteed to attract the opposite sex. If nothing else, read the goofy testimonials. Here’s snippets of some:
-”This guy will get you chics!!!!!! He ROCKS! VERY GREAT PRODUCT! IT ACTUALLY WORKS! A+++”
-”Fast delivery, product as advertised. I bought 10 bottles ’cause I ran out already! thanks”
-”PHEROMONE STUFF WORKS!!!! I AM A BABE MAGNET NOW, AND ENJOY GETTING BLONDE CHICS!!!”[aw, dang! *runs off to walgreens for a bottle of Clairol no. 37* -b]
-”THIS STUFF REALLY WORKS! GIRLS HAVE NO RESISTANCE!”[oh, really? *makes sign of the cross with fingers* -b]
-”My menstrual cycle was so irregular that it required a serious hormonal treatment. But I could not continue the treatment since the medication damaged my liver and raised blood pressure to a dangerous level. Guess what, my cycle became regular for the first time in years after I started the wearing the pheromones.”[uMkay, that’s just a little more than I needed to know -b]
Also, in my weekly email from http://intelligentX.com (which is actually a kinda o.k. site for news and entertainment) I got a message that today is Game show host Wink Martindale’s birthday!!![hoo. rah. I thought he was dead. This update says he turns 66 -b]
Surprise Clicks!!! (You-Never-Know?) This Weeks Surprise Click Last Weeks Surprise ClickOh frig…this thing above is just LAME …like you CAN’T read the link that shows up in your browser’s staus bar! This particular “special deal” came to me from indexman.com, so far my top contender for the lamest of the lame websites.
nuz? what’s nuz? I dunno, whatsnuz with you?
17 Executed in U.S. for Juvenile Crimes
NEW YORK (AP) – Total of 17 men executed in U.S. for crimes committed as juveniles, including four this year, according to the Justice Department. [how messed up is this world? full story here -b]
Smashing pumpkins bid farewell
CHICAGO (AP) – Debuting as a band 13 years ago, The Pumpkins bid farewell to their fans with four-hour collage of songs that have made them one of the most definitive bands of the past decade. The finale at the 1,100-person capacity Metro on Chicago’s North Side was one of the hottest tickets of the year…[awww…buh byee Pumpkins! full story here -b]
PepsiCo to buy Quaker Oats
NEW YORK (AP) – PepsiCo Inc. has agreed to pay $13.4 billion in stock to acquire Quaker Oats Co., the maker of Gatorade and Major cereals, a source familiar with the negotiations said.[great, now I hope Cap’n Crunch can replace the Pepsi girl on those damned TV commercials! full story here -b]
Harvard, Stanford to Enroll in E-Learning
The universities say they will jointly offer nondegree business courses on the Web, a move that likely will do for online education what Plato did for the Academy.[dang, I was hoping to get a go for the online degree! full story here -b]
Fun, fun, fun, for everyone
From old monuments to odd statues and landmarks, http://roadsideamerica.com is the roadtripper’s smorgasboard of eyecandy. It guides you through highways and byways to every dashboard distraction, some sure to beat out every strange thing you could ever conjure up from your memory as a kid going on family car trips. One thing I saw of note: a big boy convoy, of all things! Also, check out their site of the week.