Kiss My Sass » Blog Archive » Seafood Pizza

This is an especially yummy alternative to just plain old shrimp cocktail, for your friggin’ holiday parties. Knock yourself out.

Ingredients:
2 pkg (8 ounces) refrigerated crescent roll dough1/4 bunch green onions (chives)1/2 to 1 whole ripe green pepper1 pkg (4 ounces) cooked frozen salad shrimp, thawed in refrigerator1 pkg (1/2 pound) imitation crablegs/pieces or Louis Kemp sea legs/pieces, thawed, cold1 pkg (8 oz) cream cheese, still cold but slightly soft, don’t use the softened variety

1/2 bottle seafood cocktail sauce, the kind with ground horseradish in it (recommend Crosse & Blackwell)

Preheat oven to 375F.

Chop a couple stalks of green onion and 1 green pepper into coarse pieces and set aside (if you really want to, slice the peppers into pretty rings). Chop crap legs, if using pieces, they should be okay but chop into smaller pieces, if preferred, and set aside.

Open the tubes of crescent rolls, slap them together and form a ball. Flatten with your hands or roll out using pin, into a crust, into ungreased non-stick cookie sheet or jelly roll pan and bake for 14 mins. (only grease pan if using lower fat variety dough). Cool crust all the way, can’t be warm.

Spread thin layer of cream cheese onto crust. Top with thin spreading of cocktail sauce (the kind with the horseradish ground up in it is best). Top with veggies, then crabmeat and shrimp and cut pizza into 2″ squares (the bigger, the messier).

Feeding a crowd? Double everything. Best served immediately, or when toppings haven’t been sitting on crust too long, no more than an hour or two.

* Tip: after rolling out crust, poke several times with a fork so it bakes a bit flatter. If you still end up with a puffy crust (it does fall a bit after it cools) you can still fix that: Using a long bread knife (smooth sharp blade, not the kind with the big serrations, like a bagel knife) and slice the crust horizontally, into two crusts. This might work better. Flip them, so as to use the baked surface as the bottom and the new surace (exposed, where the top was cut off) as your top, for the toppings.

Kiss My Sass » Blog Archive »

Normally some things in life bring us through emotional rollercoasters.

For me it was this weekend, in particular. I laughed my ass off all Thursday night, and after work I was home just long enough to get the mail and go to bed. On Friday night I got home in time for a bite to eat and then I accompanied my sis and her hubby to the mall, which of course was crowded (god help me–I hate malls AND crowds) The only nice thing about Christmas shopping at the mall is being able to get all the stuff I need from the toy store, B. Dalton, Dayton’s, Sam Goody, Sears, Bath & Body something-or-other, all under one roof and in two hours.

Upon my arrival home, I checked my voice messages and heard that I was invited over to a friend’s house for an inpromptu gathering, which would consist of perhaps appetizers and a movie and some visiting. It wound up consisting of jello shots, exchanging gifts and general merriment that turned into just plain silliness.

You see, my friend had made buddy-buddy with the guy that runs the sushi bar downstairs from her place, and she invited him and his friend up for a visit, so then there were five of us including them. The jello shots were sooo not shots, man, these ’shots’ were made by pouring the mixture into coffee cups and you couldn’t just toss the jello back, you had to eat it with a spoon. So even though there was a huge amount of green jello in coffee cups, for some reason we were still able to kill all those, and ended up downing the last of the Budweiser that was in the fridge. Then after some good old getting to know you b.s., we played a short but rousing game of charades which had quickly (and scarily) morphed into this freaky “Hey, name a movie so some of us can act out a part of it and then you hafta decide who’s version was better” game (?!)

The night ended with everybody crammed into the couch and loveseat, in front of the TV, which was showing a rented copy of ‘Scary Movie’, and me falling asleep to it. So much for a review from moi.

Today I got up early and dashed off to job numbah two, where I put in a couple hours and received my last check before the holiday.

Now I think something’s wrong with me. I just sat through a chickflick on the Lifetime channel. I bawled. I am surprised at myself. I’d expect more from myself! Little did I know the affect Lifetime’s Movie Marathon would have on me….a slightly neurotic, distracted, busy, but otherwise normal, and healthy woman.

Perhaps it’s nothing, probably just premenstrual, (I hope). ‘Cause these flicks are REALLY reaching, lemme tell you. The first one was that “Fools Rush In” from back in like, ‘95 or something, the one with Matthew Perry and Salma Hyek. The other one is on now, that “Mrs Winterbourne” with Shirley Maclaine, Ricki Lake and Brendan Frasier.

I need to go to bed soon and tomorrow I am up early to wrap these damned gifts I got from the mall, and try to figure out why my tree is only partially lit. I think there’s a bad bulb in there somewhere. I hope it’s just not plugged in all the way.

I’m out ’til later…

P.S. – Why on earth would someone buy this?
http://www.google.com/search?hl=en&q=platinum+christmas

Same day, different year..

Other posts on this day:

  • Cancer cure indeed! – 2005

Kiss My Sass » Blog Archive » Got ski pants?

Worked four hours today. Home again, home again, jiggity jog.

As for exercise, I am getting plenty more than usual, with this winter weather. I don’t think people realize that although it’s a kind gesture to shovel the sidewalk, it should be a COMPLETED job. See, when the shoveler hasn’t bothered to clear a path, from the end of the walk to the street, it’s a bit frustrating for those of us pedestrians, to have walked all along the length of it, sometimes a block or two, only to find ourselves trapped in the GOD DAMNED SIDEWALK!! Snowbanks as high as your waist, on all three sides. Giganti-mungus. You could try to plow through one of them, with your legs… Got your ski pants on? Um, no…you’re going to work, not to the slopes! Another thing to try would be to back up, get a running start and try to hurdle the sucker, but that would be a feat that not even an accomplished Olympian would attempt. Ahh, Minnesota winters…

Justin Timberlake – “It’s NOT gonna be ME!”
Awwww…methinks someone is too STRESSED OUT from touring!!! The snotty-nosed punk NSYNC member is getting a lawsuit filed against him by a 15-year old (are you shocked) for (*gasp!*) harassing her! Actually, that is just the word that the young lady used to describe the incident. The charges are false imprisonment and intentional infliction of emotional distress. My money’s on NSYNC’s lawyers settling it out of court. [full story here -b]

You know you’re trailer trash when…
If you have to go and see this this list to make double sure, then you must be…LOL

Angelfire has the FUNNIEST ’site not found’ error page!
Some examples include:

“The page you are looking for is only viewable by Jimmy Hoffa, Amelia Earhart, Jim Morrison, Elvis and Howard Hughes…”

“Some folks can see dead people-can you see dead pages?”

“We sent this page to NASA for testing.”

“It looks like the typing class your cat is taking is not 100% successful.

More goofy searches
(how this works = these people go looking for random stuff and somehow end up at my site. I find them and post them):

weblogs+mature
I guess someone had gotten sick of only finding blogs by teeny-boppers!
this does not come as a surprise to me.

Mars 2112 Restaurant in New York City
Haven’t been there…yet.

New!

What lots of young girls wanted for Christmas this year…

Fatney Spears!

Warp me baby, one more time!
Insecure little 13 year olds need not fret anymore about society’s obsession with body image! Now you too can warp up Britney’s nose, eyes, face, booty, etc., to make her look like a huge lardo-butt, and make yourselves feel better and whatnot! Go to this page to try it out.

Check out the latest in Christmas carols

memorize the lyrics for next year…

Joke of the week

A little girl was playing in the garden when she spotted two
spiders mating.

Daddy, what are those two spiders doing?” she asked.

“They’re mating,” her father replied.

What do you call the spider on top, Daddy?” she asked.

“That’s a daddy longlegs.” her father answered.

“So, the other one is a mommy longlegs?” the little girl asked.

“No,” her father replied. “Both of them are daddy longlegs,”

The little girl thought for a moment, then took her foot and stamped
them flat. “Well. We’re not having THAT sort of shit in OUR garden.”

Kiss My Sass » Blog Archive » Weird Search Requests

temp agencies in Minneapolis
Guess you could say that since I’ve been to lots of those, this is a very valid search result and should ranked higher than others!

someone searching for cumshots at weblogs.com
no comment.

twisted ankle journal-hike
I’ve never been on one of those before!

wife fuck photo iso
I’m not too sure I want to know what this is all about…

burning man pics
Sorry, I’ve never been to Burning Man and I don’t really recall talking about it. I know some people who have, but that’s beside the point, which is: I wouldn’t be caught, dead or alive, within 10 feet from such a ridiculous escapade.

darts funny pictures
must be a new extreme sport? I’ve got funny pictures and I’ve played darts but I’m not altogether sure if this person was looking for funny pictures of darts or for darts in funny pictures.

searching for a street prostitute
I guess you can find one at this site…god knows where, but day lee came up as item number 2 in Google, so there must be one!

For those of you who are really into strange searches, try going to Disturbing Search Requests and have a hey day.

Well kiddies, that’s it for tonight…I wanted to do a briefing but to be honest, I’ve been loving my new job and also was very busy this holiday weekend. Plus nothing very newsworthy (IMHO) has crossed my desk in the last five days except that Billy Barty died this weekend and so did Victor Borge. I loved Victor’s performances when I was a kid and as an adult. He will be missed by many.

Same day, different year..

Other posts on this day:

  • Isn’t it the “Thought that Counts”? – 2004

Kiss My Sass » Blog Archive » Merry Christmas to everyone!!

Just for fun…let’s say it’s still Christmas. Which makes it perfectly legit that I post these holiday treats just for your viewing pleasure.


Ho ho ho!

Doesn’t anyone miss Calvin & Hobbes?
I’ve got just your cure. My good ‘ol Aussie pal grrrl just sent me this link of a page with the famous ’snowmen’ strips!

Top 15 Reasons For Being Fired From Toys ‘R’ Us:
15. A little too much joie de vivre while demonstrating the erector set, if you know what I mean.

14. Every time you’re passed over for a promotion, you stick your head in an Easy Bake Oven and threaten to “end it all.”

13. You got caught adding a garage to your house, using embezzled Lego bricks.

12. Numerous parental complaints about your “Tickle Me Carl The Stockboy” display.

11. You went overboard with your GI Joe Militia display by adding the Tonka truck full of fertilizer.

10. Cross-dressing the Ken and Barbie dolls and telling kids they’re the new “Jerry Springer” edition.

9. The “My Little Taxidermy Kit” (with starter squirrel) is not selling.

8. Impromptu demonstrations of why Malibu Ken is not anatomically correct.

7. Got caught doing your Dolly Parton impression with basketballs again.

6. Source of reefer smoke finally traced to “nostrils” of Geoffrey the Giraffe.

5. Jaws of life needed to pull your knees out of your chest after you jackknifed a Big Wheel in aisle seven.

4. Caught hocking phlegm into tykes’ hands and telling them it was “homemade Gack.”

3. Your sales display, “Barbie’s Struggle for Survival in Post-Nuclear Holocaust Malibu” was not exactly an overwhelming success.

2. Too many reports from people who swear they saw Geoffrey the Giraffe in a leather bar.

…and the Number 1 Reason For Being Fired From Toys ‘R’ Us…

1. Regardless of the question, you answer, “Bite me, kid–I’m on break.”

Kiss My Sass » Blog Archive » Honk if you love chee-tos

Guess what?!
day lee

has been awarded ‘Site of the Week’ by About.com!

Whoo hoo for me.

Yup.

They even interviewed me and here is the tell-all.

I am too tired to celebrate, however…I worked 14 hours today, between jobs one and two, got downtown and missed my layover bus. So I stopped in to Gallivan’s, for a beer since the next one was not due for an hour. Turned out to be three beers. Take me drunk I’m home now.

More later, I promise.

(o:

Other posts on this day:

Kiss My Sass » Blog Archive » Partially Unemployed, Day 6

But not for long…

Yes, Virginia, there IS a Santa Claus, because…

I GOT A JOB!
I GOT A JOB!


“…and now I’m as
happy as a leetle school gurrl!”

I’ve got lots to yak about but no time. Right now I’m off to mom’s to help make Christmas cookies!

more later, taters…

Kiss My Sass » Blog Archive » Ho Hum with a capital ‘H’

Today I got up outta bed around 11:15 ’cause I hadn’t been able to sleep all nite…then I burned some bacon and toast and drank cold coffee from the pot I made yesterday. Watched the tape of the SNL 25th anniversary show (finally) and one of my favorite movies, “Corina Corina” on TNT. Haven’t retreived the mail, let alone gotten dressed yet.

Then I decided today was the day I was gonna start a journal and post it online. Don’t ask me why ’cause right now I don’t even know, myself. I just felt like it was something I needed to do.

Boy have I got guts.

I gotta go, I but I will be back later.

This page brought to you by ‘Gangsta Bitch Barbie’
(which I read somewhere is also now the name of a band, go figure)

Kiss My Sass » Blog Archive » Sunday, Bloody Sunday

Here I sit, displacing my anger by cursing out loud in the general direction of my WS-ftp program, when it doesn’t even deserve it. I am mad because a certain ‘online community’ I belong to is having problems with their server or something ’cause for some reason I can’t upload CRAP to my directory there. So I had the pleasure of editing online, which I hate, would prefer to use my notepad or better yet, my Dreamweaver 3, but NO…

Anyway, you don’t need to hear all this. What a HEADACHE I had this morning. Just now recovering, slowly but surely.

Do you have a radio on at night while you sleep? I do, just a boombox I’ve only had since the 5th grade, it sits on my nightstand and puts strange things in my head while I R.E.M. myself into dreamland. This a.m. I rose to go to the bathroom, feeling curiously pissed off and betrayed by a bank I don’t even belong to. Then I find out the early early a.m. local radio talkshow was just getting over, the topic being something about bank customer service. “Ha ha” I think and almost say outloud as I stumble into the bathroom.

Flashback: I woke up at 8:30 this morning, with grandiouse plans of housecleaning and enjoying myself in general on a Sunday, but since I had this tremendous headache I decided to swallow a couple of ibuprofen and went back to the bed. Didn’t get out of it again until noon today. Showered and put a towel on.

…and now here I am, eating Voortman’s Tea Ring cookies for my breakfast and plotting a trip to the drugstore. I love drugstores. Walgreen’s is my favorite, but there isn’t one in my neighborhood. Only one I go to is downtown, a few blocks from my job. Got these cookies there on Friday. Two 1 lb. packs for a dollar. CanNOT beat that with a stick. Voortman’s Cookies. Best thing to come out of Canada since—–well, nevermind. Now I’m gonna get dressed and pretend I have nothing important to do.

Quote of the day:“Support bacteria – they’re the only culture some people have.”

Same day, different year..

Other posts on this day:

  • Rainbows, Rosie the Riveter, & Road Rage – 2004

Kiss My Sass » Blog Archive » Good God almighty, why does it have to be Monday??!!

Yadda yadda yadda…do you ever want to say that to someone on the phone when they drone on andon AND ON and you are just like…eyes rolled into the back of your head, nodding your head and your mouth agape, wondering why in heck there is no one there to save you from this torment by ringing your doorbell or telling you to get off the phone so they can use it? O.K., was just wondering. ‘Cause there ARE days…and last nite was it for me…one of my girlfriends was telling me this story for like, the FIFTH time and well, I had just had ENOUGH! OK, gonna quit blabbing about it now…

So how was your Monday? huh? didja enjoy yourself? or would you have sooner been in bed or in your coziest chair, reading the latest literary find from the bookstore/library? Me too. And of course, my weekend went by in the blink of an eye…oh, how sickly poetic that was back < —there.

Gonna pay off my damned AmEx card bill tomorrow. YAY! Ever since I bought that Kenmore air conditioner from Sears this July, I somehow got underneath all the statements and rather than pay them, I just kept getting them lost in the shuffle of junk that is the Dayton’s shopping bag of stuff that serves as a neat AND functional doorstop for the kitchen swinging door.

…that bag of stuff is the result of a long, drawn out processing of mine. I am one of those people who, upon retrieving my mail, I plop the stuff down on the dining room table where it sits ’til the weekend when I have time to at least sit and pore through it. Then when I DO read the crap, I just sort of lay it all in a trashy pile on the end table in the living room. I sometimes pull the important stuff out and just fold it up and put it in my bag that I bring to work, and deal with it during lunch or the commute downtown. Then when people come over or when I just can’t seem to place anything else on the table, I shove the stuff into that bag.

—I found some cool stuff in there the other day. An eyeglass case I thought I’d lost. A Subway club card full and ready to redeem for a free samwich…an old cd I accused someone of stealing, some cool blue-colored post it notes on a pad and a half pack of gum. I put all my lost-and found treasures into my junk drawer where they will get shuffled yet some more amongst the pile of rubble already in there and any other junk I might add to it in the coming months.
…what’s in YOUR junk drawer? tell me and be HONEST

well, that’s all for now…waaaay past mah bedtime, dammit.

Today’s Quip:“Monday is an awful way to spend 1/7th of your life.”

Same day, different year..

Other posts on this day:

  • How To Give A Cat A Pill – 2001