BJ Woods

The night I went to dinner with my friend Cheryl after work, I get off around five and she had some stuff to finish up and was staying at her job until six so that left me with an hour to kill downtown.

I figured I’d run quick to the library since I already had two books checked out.  I’d just finished one, and hadn’t started the other one yet, but it was a hard find.  Since the one was due soon, I thought I’d go renew it, and turn the finished one in, and perhaps update my journal on the web in their computer lab.  Since I haven’t been to this branch in about three years, I was unaware of their new hours.

Turned out the were about to close and I all but got roughed up when I waltzed in the door to case the joint and see if I could find the way to the computer lab. The LIBRARY! of all places!

The security guard was right inside the door and informed me that they were closing in five minutes.

me: “Five minutes? Gee…I haven’t been here in awhile. Darn. I wanted to hang out a little. You guys used to be open until six. I had no idea.
Mister Security Guard: “Yes, we close at five-thirty now.”

me: “Oh, okay, well can I at least go in and renew these books?”

Mister Security Guard: “Sure. Hey, you could have done that over the phone, you know.”

me: “Yeah, I know, I’ve done it before but like I said I didn’t know about the hours being different and I planned on staying for a while.”

Mister Security Guard: “Yeah, you can do that nowadays. Just call the main number and ask.”

me: “I know. Like I said, I came to hang out awhile.”

The woman at the book return counter, just a few feet away looks over, and I’m sure she’s heard our conversation.  She looks just like Marian the Librarian from Music Man, only with an attitude and somewhat more of a 90’s hairdo and attire. I have to supress a giggle. I ask her from where the guard and I are standing if she can renew the books for me.

Marian Librarian: “Alright, just step right over here and I can help you.”

me: “Here’s my card, I know they’re not due until the 22nd but I figured since I was coming by already…”

Marian: “Yes, well do you use the renewal over the phone option? You could have just done that, you know.”

me: “Yes, but I was just over there telling you guys that I was unaware of the closing time tonight.”

Marian: “Oh. You were? Well. Fine. (all snotty like)”

Good Lord. I wanted badly to pound her face in, but I kept myself in check.

She knew, AND she heard me. She just wanted to take her shitty day out on ME. Well I ain’t havin’ it.

Bitch.

Same day, different year..

Other posts on this day:

www.RetroVsMetro.org
The Great Divide: Retro vs. Metro America, is a new book by John Sperling, who aims “to explain why America is so bitterly divided. It describes how Retro and Metro America are really two countries whose people have different economic and political interests.” The author of the book also attempts to show us Americans how we should stop “sending jobs overseas and why political power is in the hands of Republicans.” My review of this site is in sent a letter to them as follows:

Dear Retro vs. Metro:

Congratulations on the new web site. First of all I want to say that it is well designed, looks great and is easy to navigate.

I feel, however, the content of it was refreshing for about one second. The minute you started spewing about how ‘metro’ America is decidedly more non-judgemental, ‘tolerant’ of ‘exciting’ cultural blends in cities and ‘accepting’ of women and minority and gay/transgender issues than their ‘retro’ American counterparts and trying to paint us into a picture of filthy rich selfish Bible-thumping facists, I had to close that page to find this contact form. I’m so tired of conservatives and Republicans being labeled as non-accepting and non-caring when it comes to other Americans. You tend to forget that your fellow ‘metro’ Amercians are the ones who bend over backwords in order to divide, be non-accepting, segregating and most of all labeling. You continue to do so by contradicting yourselves just like you did in “Retro vs. Metro”. Just cut it out. Start realizing that we conservatives are JUST AS accepting and encouraging the rest of America to thrive. Its just we draw the line at self-sustenance and showing others how to help themselves, rather than enabling folk to become dependent on government to the point where Americans feel entitled. If that is what ‘metro’ America’s agenda is all about, then we’re all headed straight into the ground, and fast.

PS – Tolerance is defined by Merriam-Webster Online as “the capacity to bear something unpleasant, painful, or difficult”. In other words, ‘putting up’ with certain things. Do you think ‘metro’ Amercians like to be called tolerant? I’d say if anything they are benevolent. Perhaps you got the two mixed up. It’s okay. You’re all ‘intellectuals’ compared to us one-toothed, moonshine swillin’ an’ Godfearin’ backwoods babes, it’s not like a huge smear on your intelligence.

PPS – I live in the Minneapolis metro area. Does that mean I should be a ‘metro’? Golly I hope not.

2.5 out of 5

[more web site reviews by beej]

It’s a great concept. Can’t sleep? Put this shit on. Guaranteed to have you sawing logs in a matter of 1.5 videos.

Case in point:

‘Let me Go’ by Three Doors Down

Great band, great song. Shitty video.

“Let me Go” Indeed. Let Me Go Find Who Directed this Fucked Up Video!

Three Doors Down proves once again that a teeny bopper soap opera plot makes for good videos.

Act I, scene I, cut to high school hallway, where boy has just met girl. Girl and boy fall in love and show everyone in hallway, and this it’s not the puppy kind. It’s of the ‘I’m gonna take you home and make a dirty movie with you’ variety (?!).

Scene II, cut to happy after-school snack shack, where the two take Polaroids of each other. Aw…

Couple scenes later, we see a seedy strip club, and guess who’s on stage? Our girlie girl, of course.

How boy manages to get into strip club and see his darling girlie shake her money maker, I will never remember, as I’m trying my hardest to stay awake through this musical Shakespeare mini-tragedy!

Scene III, Cut back to high school hallyway, where people are whisperin’ about girl as she walks by, and boy ain’t gettiin’ anywhere near girl at school, at the snack shack, or even talkin’ to her face.

Girl is all, ‘Aw, fuck, what a jackass’ and then bell rings and school is out.

Scene IV, Boy is at after school snack shack and is all, awww, I miss that whore, where’s my girlie girl?

Scene V, So he goes driving along in happy neighborhood and sees girlie girl holding baby in window of her house. The video’s camera zooms into window and speedily (and scarily) zooms further, into baby’s crib (isn’t tv amazing?). Baby gets picked up and teeny bopper momma, and baby and momma are all like ‘aww’ together (is this a fuckin’ Downy commercial?).

Scene VI, Cut back to stupid boy in car. He’s all like ‘Aw, I didn’t know she was a baby momma!?! Now I feel like a jerky werky.”

Well I haven’t figured out if this is one of those shocker endings where we all gasp because the boy is the daddy of the baby, or if this is one of those moral lessons. What the fuck could the moral be? OH! I know:

“It’s alright to be a ho-ass stripper when you ‘jess 16. Spess-shly if you is a baby momma!”

At least Three Doors Down thinks so. Does America think so? Gawd I hope not.

2 stars

“Along The Boulevard” by Green Day

Angst Revisited Recycles Rockers over Ten Year Span.

I thought Green Day was dead*, until recently. I think they came back out just to make sure they still are the good at that emo thing, whatever the hell it may be. I don’t get it, but I guess it is sort of like Liz Phair coming back out to see if she’s still as good at whining as the new generation of girly angst rockers are (i.e. . I kinda figured all this out while watching “Along The Boulevard” with Billy WhatsHisNuts from Green Day.

Video is alright. Green Day still look and sound like they did when I was 25, ‘cept maybe a bit frightening and older looking. ‘Course they probably still smoke from the same bong that they were smoking out of when I was 25. I’ve since: welcomed a nephew into my family, fell in love, got a gym membership, got it cancelled, got a computer, survived my sister’s wedding, moved out of my apartment, changed banks, almost got a car once, got engaged, moved again, got another job, moved again, started business on the side, lost job, got another job, broke off engagement, lost my dad, lost job, got another job, kicked boyfriend out of apartment, lost uncle, got another job, lost job, made up with boyfriend, got another job, had nephew’s 9th birthday, lost job, got another job…

Whew!

That’s ten years, and Green Day don’t look they done much since 1995. I mean, of course THEY HAVE, but it is just like going back in time. Only they manage to do this song with a bit of a present-day edge on it.

Here we are, 2005, and ever since Green Day started singing its whiny ‘why me I’m such a loser’ songs, so have (about 10,000 other bands), all managing to sound and look just like them, complete with the same formula:

– The would-be dreamy lead singer, I say “would-be” if not for the dark under eye circles, bed head and general lack of self esteem.

-The token manic rhythm guitarist, arm jackhammering at 70 mph as if guitar is going to get away from him.

-The same melody sets, chords, and strikingly similar keys.

Anyway, my point is, even though I don’t get it–the emo thing–they’re still good at it I guess. 3 stars

* not rotting in the ground dead, just not making music anymore–jeez, don’t have a cow!

Monday, May 15th, 2006

From my “Alliance of Free Blogs” roll….

John over at Alpaca Burger Forum is anticipating President Bush’s next move in regards to immigration reform (or a lack thereof).

M over at The Cigar Intelligence Agency has posted a gorgeous photo today!

The Patriot over at The Conservative Commando wants us to know how much the Foreign Intelligence Surveillance Act is […]

Saturday, July 22nd, 2000

The weather’s even been pleasant, what with the high temps only in the 70’s everyday. Haven’t been up to anything exciting, of course *gasp* are you shocked?
Last night I babysat for my darling nephew, who still kicks my ass at video games and is increasing his word power every day. I’m impressed, it’s as if […]

Tuesday, July 11th, 2000

I haven’t been up to much lately, just working my 2 jobs and surviving day to day, what with being nearly broke all the time. That’s my own damn fault, though, and I am working on it.
This last weekend was o.k., I went and did some grocery shopping on Saturday and it was SOOOOO HOT […]

Wednesday, July 5th, 2000

Grandma passed on Saturday (July 1st), and on Monday I left to go up north to visit with family and attend services. My mom had been at my grandma’s house for the past month or so, and was taking care of her for awhile, so it was nice visiting with her and everyone else again. […]

Tuesday, May 16th, 2000

Although there is so much bad stuff going on with people in my life I do feel a bit guilty about coming home and just chillin’.
I’m gonna unload Thursday night on ya ’cause after my update I went and watched ER, even though I hardly ever watch that show, I just did. It had me […]

Friday, April 28th, 2000

Back a couple weeks ago, I vowed to be as honest in here as I wanted to be and now is the time and here is the place.
The situation at home with my folks seems a bit better, or quieter, rather, than it has been. I was having a hard time at first dealing with […]

Thursday, April 13th, 2000

When my four year old nephew, Brandon, was a baby just starting to talk, I was always telling him he was goofy. He couldn’t say it right and it was hilarious at the time. He knows how to say it right now but he still says it wrong just for old time’s sake.
Tonight I go […]

Monday, April 22nd, 2002

…of Communication Between Men   Any man who brings a camera to a stag night may be legally killed and eaten by his fellow partygoers. Under no circumstances may two men share an umbrella. It is ok for a man to cry under the following circumstances: a. When a heroic dog dies to save it’s master

b. The moment Angelina […]

Wednesday, October 3rd, 2001

This morning I lie dreaming that I held a studly and well-ripped superhero captive in my shower and as I was kissing and rubbing him all over, my phone rang. It was 7:45. It was a bill collector. I couldn’t go back to sleep. Bitch.

When I told my boyfriend about the dream, he wanted to know just what was […]

Tuesday, August 14th, 2001

I’ve got to know!! Yesterday mine thought it was cute to pee on my foot while we were in the shower. Then he had the nerve to say “Honey, I’ve noticed lately you aren’t as bitchy as you used to be, like, in bed.” WHAT??! Anyone can top this? Tell me about it…use the Comment box below.

I’ve got to run…housecleaning […]

Saturday, April 22nd, 2006

While I was surfing the ‘net yesterday I ran into this site, Stuck in The 70’s and I was really enjoying it.  Then I found out the author had actually had imported all the entries from her real life diary that she had kept from 1973-1979.  Pretty cool of her.  It is from when she was 10 […]

Tuesday, March 7th, 2006

Baseball League Hall of Famer Kirby Puckett has died at 45.
I remember fondly as a young teenager when the Twins first got Kirby on the team.  He made it exciting to watch, with his wall-scaling in the outfield to stop a home run from the other team.  Although he was serious about the sport and “kicked ass […]

Wednesday, November 30th, 2005

People always ask me where I got the nickname ‘BJ’.
Well, first off, my folks wanted a million kids, their firstborn–they wanted badly–to be a son. My dad, who was an orphan, was named ‘William’ before he got adopted by a foster family. I don’t know why they renamed him but he wound up being called […]

Sunday, April 2nd, 2000

I don’t have too much to tell about my weekend, yesterday I spent a good part of the morning plotting some updates for one of my web projects, but with no content coming in from the client, I am at a standstill.
Then later this morning, I went and did some shopping with my folks and […]

Friday, January 7th, 2000

I love Saturdays, yes I do! Too bad they don’t last too long. Got out of bed late today, because I was up until 3 a.m. editing a site that I maintain for a non-profit organization. I am sooooo bad at javascript. Let me tell you…I’m gonna have to take a course or something. I […]

Monday, January 3rd, 2000

Best way to start a week is by NOT running to the bus stop in such a manner that you slip on the ice and fall right on your hands and knees, to result in scraped and hacked up & bleeding kneecaps and skinned palms and a re-twisted ankle (yes, that’s right…third time’s the charm)
Twisted […]

Tuesday, April 4th, 2006

Do you know what happens this week? On Wednesday of this week, at two minutes and three seconds after 1:00 in the morning, the time and date will be 01:02:03 04/05/06! That won’t ever happen again for another 1,000 years. You may now return to your normal stuff! More about it here:

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20060404/ap_on_fe_st/numbers_row

Tuesday, April 4th, 2006

OK. After my near-disastrous lunch with mom on Saturday I *did* have a good rest of the day on my birthday. 

We went to her house and hung out and she showed me some stuff she learned at her computer class and then she gave me a really pretty homemade card that she made (these things are like […]

Wednesday, November 30th, 2005

You guys have been asking where I’ve been, if I’m really back, etc. Well I’ve been busy.

I’ve been working for the last 2 months trying to get a new division of my company (B. Woods Design–not new, that’s my company) launched. It’s not a new concept but it is a website in a box thingie…still rough […]

Wednesday, September 12th, 2001

Something people ask every day, I’m sure. But really, who can DEFINE one? I don’t think I can. It used to be that a weblog as defined by Blogger: “A web page made up of usually short, frequently updated posts that are arranged chronologically — like a what’s new page or a journal. The content […]

Monday, October 23rd, 2000

Back off of vacation but feeling a bit windblown and blistered, not to mention anxious and weary at the same time. It’s late so I know I need to go to bed but I am not all that tired. Let’s see if I can post this dang thing correctly.  Manila weblogs.com has gotten me a […]

Friday, January 27th, 2006

That’s right, I’m calling you out. For those who have been living under a rock these past couple months, Judge Samuel Alito has been under tense hearings to confirm or disapprove him to be on the Supreme Court.

Mr. Senator Friggin John Kerry has the cajones to yodel from the friggin’ tops of the friggin’ Swiss Friggin’ […]

Thursday, January 5th, 2006

OK the title’s not meant to poke fun. NOT AT ALL. I just wanted to grab your attention and just say my 2 cents on this whole thing going down in West Virginia. Now, I don’t watch a lot of TV nor do I pay that much attention to news lately.

If any TV is on, it’s either […]

Monday, December 19th, 2005

I know this is sooo late of me…. but I couldn’t resist chiming in on it.
“Fed up with being endlessly told ‘the American people’ have turned against the war in Iraq, Republicans asked the Democrats to show what they had in their hand and vote on a resolution to withdraw the troops. By a vote […]

Saturday, October 16th, 2004 Sunday, October 10th, 2004

Seen any of the Kerry-Edwards Gear Junk available on the website?
I want one of these…A Gay Military Dog Tag. If that’s not a total oxymoron, I dunno what is. It’s understood that you Feminazis don’t like being grouped in with the GLBTs, so the Kerry-Edwards Gear people offer up a version for you, ’cause […]

The New York Times published a list of what it bills as the Conservative Top 50 songs …or are they?  I have a hard time believing anything Bob Dylan ever wrote would be… yet one of his works appears in the list.

Dixie Chick Not Sorry Anymore at least she was, at one time.  But not now.  Does Natalie Maines just need to shut up and mind her business?  Either way, it’s too little, too late.  The people that made up their base of fans are no longer interested, for the most part anyway.

Perhaps you will be interested to know more about the connection between politics and music.

Same day, different year..

Other posts on this day:

• ‘Da Vinci Code’ getting attention no matter what – 2006