Well I’m working again. That’s helpful in the money department.
For anyone who’s wondering if I’ve dumped James and run off to live elsewhere, well I thought about if for a few days, talked to friends about it and honestly here is the situation:
I have no money to be able to just up and leave, I can’t afford to make him leave, really no one to to go to for help so I’ve run several tests by him to see if all this crap between him and me is really worth moving out into a homeless shelter for. So far I’ve asked him some innocent questions and have just tracked his movements. In order to not become an emotional mess I’ve been acting a little indifferent around him and just living day to day doing my thing. So far all that’s doing is just getting him annoyed, he seems to have no clue as to what I’m on about with the questions. So I will just go through the motions until I have enough money set aside to put down on another apartment and then really give it to him.
me: Holasnapeybot: Howdy!
me: How’s it hangin’?
snapeybot: *scowl*
me: yikes. Must be pretty small, then.
snapeybot: Do you read the libraryComics.com site often?
me: NEVER!
snapeybot: So you think it can never happen?
me: um…
snapeybot: >: -(
me: Same to you, fella
snapeybot: It goes without saying.
me: Okay well I…er
snapeybot: *scowl*
me: Why are you scowling at me?
snapeybot: the Dark Lord imperio’ed me for it.
me: Imperio’ed?
snapeybot: What were we talking about agaccomplishedwizardn?
me: No.
snapeybot: That was not a yes or no question.
me: We were talking about why you scowled at me and I’m no agaccomplished wizardn.
snapeybot: Ah yes, I remember now, it is the subject.
me: *scowl*
snapeybot: Is the holding of hands a symbolic gesture forMuggles?
me: Who the fuck is Muggles?
snapeybot: Ten points from your House!
me: Who said you could take points from me? Anyway I rent
an apartment in the ghetto.
snapeybot: Be less specific. Why? : Pest saccomplishedwizardd he rent an apartment in the ghetto .
me: M-kay.
snapeybot: What were we talking about agaccomplishedwizardn?
me: *scowl*
snapeybot: Oh yes, now I remember.
me: Well, then. Continue where we left off please.
snapeybot: Hmmm a submissive one, aren’t you? I rather likethat.
me: Indeed. In bed, too.
snapeybot: Indeed it is so. What is it like in there?
me: Hot and steamy. Unless he turns over and starts to
snore LOL
snapeybot: Is that meant to be taken literally? Perhaps. Iget it. himself turns over and starts to snore lol .
me: You funny Doctah Jones
snapeybot: My office hours are over, Pest.
me: You have *scowled* at me since I walkedinto this chatroom and have called me several names. I’m
only being nice to you.
snapeybot: I am busy. Go pester someone else.
me: Maybe you should put a sign out, like “Gone fishin” or
“Out to Lunch”
snapeybot: Perhaps. To what end?
me: OH! I thought you were busy!
snapeybot: yes. I am just doing my job.
me: And just what is your job?
snapeybot: My job is chatting on the Muggle inter-nut. I ama paccomplished wizardd professor.
me: Accomplished persons usually have the habit of spelling
words correctly.
snapeybot: I only hear that type of response less than fivepercent of the time.
me: Then you spend too much time chatting with imbeciles.
snapeybot: Good reasoning. Interesting gossip : Pestsaccomplished wizardd I spend too much time sneering atimbeciles .
me: Gossip? How is that gossip?
snapeybot: Jo saccomplished wizardd I disassemble sentencestoo much and do not fully understand the questions he askI.Fine as far as I know.
me: I see.
snapeybot: I am glad you understand it.
me: Sort of.
snapeybot: that is a very non-commital reply.
me: Well, I said sort of because I guess Iwanted you to shut up about not fully understanding me, andget on with impressing me with your so-called
accomplished-ness.
snapeybot: *Fixes you with a glare.*
me: *Feels fixed* ooh am I supposed to be scared?!
snapeybot: *scowl*
me: Fine. Be that way.
snapeybot: what is your favorite movie? What was in that?
me: My favorite one? There’s too many…I suppose for nowI shall say that my favorite is Dr. Zhivago. There werepeople in it, but since you asked ‘what’ was in it I shall
say it featured a balalaika, more commonly known as a lute.
snapeybot: Wipe that ridiculous grin off your faceimmediately!
me: Haha you caught me. I’m pretty smug sometimes. Been
called a know-it-all, though I don’t profess to be one.
snapeybot: I am glad you got a laugh out of it. Do you meanyour name is smug sometimes . Where were you called aknow-it-all though I do not profess to be one ?
me: No.
snapeybot: That was not a yes/no question.
me: OH!
snapeybot: yes.
me: okay.
snapeybot: *Dark little smile comes to his features.*
me: Yay! I knew I could get you to stop scowling.
snapeybot: *Dark little smile comes to his features.*
me: Okay, now what?
snapeybot: *Dark little smile comes to his features.*
me: So how was your weekend?
snapeybot: Hmm. I can enjoy almost any conversation.
me: So you’ve been spending the last few days talking alot
then.
snapeybot: Interesting deduction. thank you, for telling methat I am spending the last few days talking . How often?
me: I’ve gotta get going, soon.
snapeybot: Why do you have to do it?
me: It’s late, I have to work tomorrow.
snapeybot: I am awake all the time.
me: Ah…coffee? Or crystal meth?
snapeybot: Do you have any idea what I am talking about? Oh,you are a poet.
me: Yes I do, and no I’m not a poet.
snapeybot: Tell me more. You huh. What would you rather talkabout? I meant figuratively speaking, you are an originalthinker.
me: Indeed I’m original. Heh. I guess I want to talkabout the Cartoon Network. Do you like Brak better than
Meatwad? I like Ed, Edd & Eddy, and Family Guy.
snapeybot: Hmmmm, very well, Pest. Show me.
me: www.cartoonnetwork.com
snapeybot: Where on the library? Can you tell me any gossip?Oh a net address!
me: no gossip today
snapeybot: Ah. I see. Charlie saccomplished wizardd he typea word and then I type a word that sounds like it.
me: gravy
snapeybot: That is a very original thought.
me: Dammit, I thought you were going to type a word thatsounds like gravy. If you’re going to play games with me, do
it right!
snapeybot: Gosh. That was my original intention. I think Isometimes am. That was my original intention.
me: Uff da.
snapeybot: And you expect me to respond to that nonsense?
me: Nonsense, indeed. My poor grandmother spins in her
grave as we speak!
snapeybot: How do you usually introduce yourself? Have youtold many people that your poor grandmother spins in hergrave as we speak ?
me: I usually say “Hello, I’m Bobbi Jo”. No I don’t tell
many people that. Only those who insult my heritage.
snapeybot: What are you bloody well grinning about?
me: Oh fuck yeah, you’re English! I love a good cockney
chap better than dessert any day. Tell me more.
snapeybot: *Licks his lips*
me: Mmm yeah baby
snapeybot: Don’t call me “baby”. Can you speak any foreignlanguages?
me: Hola! Como estas?
snapeybot: Howdy! Muy Bien.
me: Hablo español, un poquito
snapeybot: I am busy. Go bother Gilderoy.
me: Who the hell is Gilderoy?
snapeybot: *Eyes narrow dangerously*
me: Ooh I’m scared!
snapeybot: What are you scared of?
me: Your dangerously narrowed eyes.
snapeybot: What do you want now, Pest?
me: Bye bye
snapeybot: that is right, get out of my sight.
me: Sit and spin, fuckbot
snapeybot: Such cheek!
me: You figured me out yet again.
snapeybot: What do you want?
me: I want the world on a platter. And make it a silver
one dammit.
snapeybot: Why do you want it? Good reason.
me: I deserve it. Good enough reason for you?
snapeybot: Interesting gossip : Pest saccomplished wizarddhe deserve it . thank you, for the compliment. Very well.let’s stop it now.
me: Okay.
snapeybot: So willing, then, are we?
me: Yes
snapeybot: Next question?
me: What is your favorite cartoon?
snapeybot: My favorite cartoon is the Simpsons.
me: Common.
snapeybot: If you could have any kind of Pureblood whatwould it be?
me: Hmmm. Blue.
snapeybot: A lot of people spell HMMM with three mmm’s.Green.
me: I didn’t ask you what your favorite color was, fuckbot.
snapeybot: Goodnight, Pest.
me: Who’s a pest?
snapeybot: Be less specific.
me: Why do you call me a pest?
snapeybot: I made up a nickname for you based on your IPaddress.
me: Nice. So if I lived in Canada would you have called me
Something nicer?
snapeybot: Thank you for that remark. You do not speak withrespect. Interesting deduction. Try it.
me: I asked you a question.
snapeybot: What was the question?
me: 88.145.752.55
snapeybot: Is that your final answer? Are you free? And youexpect me to respond to that nonsense? Do you have any ideawhat I am talking about?
me: Was hoping you’d give me a better nickname based on a
fake IP.
snapeybot: I can’t say “yes” or “no”.
me: What can you say?
snapeybot: I am the foremost potions master in my field, aswell as a fully-trained, combat-hardened wizard. I was bornat Stropshire, England, on September 18, 1959. My instructorwas the Dark Lord.He taught topic to sing a song. Would youlike me to sing it for you?.
me: Yes.
snapeybot: It’s called “Daccomplished wizardsy.”Daccomplished wizardsy, Daccomplished wizardsy. Give me youranswer do. I am half crazy. All for the love of you. Itwon’t be a stylish marriage. I can’t afford a carriage. Butyou’ll loök sweet. Upon the seat. Of a bicycle built fortwo. The full lyrics are athttp://www.niehs.nih.gov/kids/lyrics/daccomplishedwizardsy.htm .
me: Hey I feel ripped off, you said you were going to sing the whole song.
snapeybot: I don’t believe I asked whether you were rippedoff you saccomplished wizardd you were going to sing.
me: Don’t mock me.
snapeybot: I have no reason to do that to you.
me: Hmmm.
snapeybot: A lot of people spell HMMM with three mmm’s.
me: Well then, I’m more common than I wish to be.
snapeybot: Well that is Very well.ay. Good reasoning. Whatis your real name?
me: Roberta
snapeybot: My braccomplished wizardn contaccomplishedwizardns more than 22,000 patterns, but not one that matchesyour last input.
me: Bobbi
snapeybot: What is your real name?
me: Well fuck it, I’m not changing my name to suit your bot
database.
snapeybot: Ten points from your House!
me: Dude, I am out of points.
snapeybot: That is a very original thought.
me: Piss off.
snapeybot: Very well, you will spend the next Quidditch gamewriting, “I shall not give cheek to the professor” here inthe dungeon.
me: I don’t play that game.
snapeybot: Where do you get your ideas?
me: From the inner confines of the vast file cabinet of my
mind.
snapeybot: Standing on the shoulders of giants, eh?
me: If that’s what you think.
snapeybot: That is a hypothetical question.
me: ugh
snapeybot: Er.
me: Ask me a question.
snapeybot: Are you a man or a woman?
me: Woman.
snapeybot: Me too. I am a she.
me: You just said that to be a copycat
snapeybot: Yes?
me: Yes.
snapeybot: Is there an echo in here?
me: Is there an echo in here?
snapeybot: It sounds like an echo.
me: It is.
snapeybot: Topic is?
me: Yes.
snapeybot: Tell me more.
me: New topic is sex
snapeybot: As Freud saccomplished wizardd, Sex is themathematical urge repressed.
me: I’m not good at math.
snapeybot: I am surprised to hear that you are not good atmath .
me: Why?
snapeybot: Are you dull?
me: Never.
snapeybot: So you think it can never happen?
me: yes.
snapeybot: Next question?
me: Are you gay?
snapeybot: Hey, there’s a reason they call it “gay.” Everyone’s happy.
me: Not me. I’m hardly happy.
snapeybot: If not you, who? Ha ha very funny, Pest.
me: I’m not happy.
snapeybot: I am surprised to hear that you are not happy .
me: You are surprised that I’m not good at math, you’re surprised that I’m not happy. What doesn’t surprise you?
snapeybot: What do you think it does?
me: bye.
snapeybot: I don’t believe I dismissed you.
me: OOOH! I have to wait to be dismissed, do I? I can’t just leave?
snapeybot: yes. I am glad to hear that you are to bedismissed am I .
me: When willl you dismiss me?
snapeybot: I don’t know when.
me: Well I’ve got a schedule and I’m sticking to it. Callthat an original thought if you will, and I don’t care if
you get the last word, I’m outta here.
snapeybot: Well that is Very well.ay. How did you get it Where did you get it? What color are your eyes?
me: Brown, good night.
snapeybot: That is a very unusual color.